Business Sexy Cool
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I met my assistant Cheryl this morning at a local cafe before our 10:00 meeting. "Wow!" she exclaimed; "You are looking business sexy cool." Who doesn't like to receive a compliment first thing in the morning, but I found her comment to be particularly interesting. We sat down with our coffee and scones and went over talking points for the meeting. When I felt confident that we were thoroughly prepared, I turned our conversation to her greeting. "You see me nearly every day," I began. "What prompted the compliment?" This question led to an interesting discussion, which has stuck in my mind all day. Her assessment was both eye opening and thought provoking.
Cheryl is ten years my junior and is one of the most organized, intelligent women I have ever met. We have a constant synergy which allows us to both learn from each other and appreciate one another. Yet I learned a valuable lesson this morning...many times the way we come across to other people is just as important as the things we say or do.
"From the moment I saw you get out of your car, you exuded the confidence of a strong business woman along side the femininity and sex appeal of a person very comfortable in her own skin," Cheryl explained. Although I am not known for taking compliments well, I secretly knew that she was right. I am the type of woman who puts it all out there. I don't try to be one thing over another. I don't (like so many business women I meet) try to be one of the good old boys, in either look or demeanor. Rather, I am comfortable with the fact that I am intelligent and experienced in my chosen field, in addition to being a woman who takes care of herself and plays up her strong points. In fact (and I'll freely admit it) I use the fact that I am a woman to my advantage in business.
When Cheryl and I walked into our meeting, I was more aware. From the CEO who unknowingly raised an approving eyebrow to the CFO who grinned like a schoolboy as we were introduced...it all registered in a new way today. I realized that having this effect on the men I meet in business every day is empowering. I realize that some women consider that momentary look of lust to be disgusting or degrading, yet I prefer to use it to my benefit. It's not all that I am, as the clients I meet with discover within moments of speaking to me, yet what is wrong with using the "business sexy cool" factor to set the tone for a meeting?
Throughout the rest of the day, as I thought of my conversation with Cheryl, I spoke to other collegues and friends about this subject. And I realized that this is a hot topic of discussion, with viewpoints that run the gamut. There is great conflict among women on how to deal with "being taken seriously" in business. As a result, many women deflect their own femininity and sexuality, almost as a defense mechanism. Yet do we have to choose? Can't we be both?
Let me tell you what I told Cheryl this morning. You may or may not agree with me, but I think that it is important to share how this self proclaimed girly girl leads a very successful and very happy existence in the business world. It may not be every woman's cup of tea, but if nothing else, it presents my opinion on one of the long standing issues that women face in business.
1) INTELLECT AND EXPERIENCE ABOVE ALL ELSE. If you rely simply on your looks, and ability to flirt, you will fail dismally in the business world. Know yourself and know your product or service so that when you open your perfectly painted lips, your intelligence, confidence, and industry knowledge will be noted above all else.
2) BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE. You've heard it said time and time again...confidence is sexy! The cliche is true....if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. And here's a little secret, often times you have to fake it. When you have that all important meeting, prepare yourself on the subject matter, put on your best suit and heels, and walk in as though you've already secured the deal.
3) SMILE, SMILE, AND THEN SMILE SOME MORE. There is a psychological effect that smiling has on both yourself and others. Do not underestimate it! A smile can provoke positive thought. A smile can disarm. And a smile can project your confidence. On the contrary, a dour, scowling face can have the opposite effect.
4) DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE YOUR SEXY SELF. First let me say this....do not overdo! Don't overdo your makeup, your perfume, your hair or your clothing. That being said, there is nothing wrong with playing up your assets. If you have nice legs, wear a nicely tailored skirt to show them off. If you have a thick mane of gorgeous hair, slather it in deep conditioner the night before meeting with an important client, so you can let it cascade down your back the next day. The point is that it is ok to show off your assets. The men you meet with will appreciate it, and there is nothing wrong with that!
5) FLIRT IN MODERATION. I find that flirting gets a bad rep. But remember this...it takes brains to flirt. There is not one person on the face of the earth who does not appreciate a compliment. The key is to flirt in a business appropriate way. That means, instead of slowly running your hands down a man's tie while softly cooing "Niiiiiice tie," you might shoot an approving glance and exclaim, "You have great taste in ties. I saw one similar to that last month when I was in Italy." The key being, compliment and open up conversation. Express interest in them while simultaneously creating interest in yourself.
These are just a few tools that you may be able to use in the seemingly complicated game of being a woman in business. Do not ever sacrifice who or what you are in the process of trying to be who or what you think you should be. Like anything in life, the simpest lessons often apply to the most complicated isses. That said....be yourself. Be your business sexy cool self. And don't forget to enjoy every moment of the process.
Enjoy the video! You'll tap your toes to Annie Lennox while taking a look at the women who have inspired us throughout the years.
Annie Lennox: Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves
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Comments
I find your point of view refreshing. So many women feel they must jump at any man giving them an appreciative look, but what is wrong with this in a business setting? I still believe men can look like men and women can look like women and deal with business transactions. There is nothing wrong with being cool business sexy, and your article is very inspiring.
Christoph - thanks so much...I completely agree. Toasting you right back...cheers!
SweetiePie - I appreciate the kind words. I think a lot of women are so worried about what they should and shouldn't do, that they forget to enjoy being themselves.
Happy to have found this hub! Thanks for sharing your views on this topic! In business, whatever it takes to do the business as efficiently, effectively and pleasantly as possible for all concerned should be THE goal! And good grooming, confident demeanor, those smiles you mentioned, and the revelation of self-pride will go a long way to communication, persuasion and cooperation.
thanks so much. ur article very inspiring.
http:// fashion-worldnews.blogspot.com
i would like to wark in the sexy movies
Christoph Reilly says:
15 months ago
I like your attitude. I have often wondered the very thing: Why can't women be both? From a man's viewpoint, I have often wondered why it was sometimes considered demeaning if we thought a woman was beautiful. It doesn't mean we don't also appreciate her intellect and all her other qualities. One does not preclude another. Thanks for putting this down on paper. i admire your confidence. I'll double toast to you!