On 10th September, 1989, my first Grandson was born. I went to the hospital to visit my daughter-in-law and to see Daniel, and when I arrived, my daughter-in-law was taking a bath, so the nurse told me to have a hold whilst Mummy was away. I took him in my arms… a little mite, with a shock of black hair, and traces of blood still on his forehead. It was a magical moment in my life, to hold this little bundle.

As the years passed, Daniel and I formed a very strong bond… he would come and stay with me, for weekends, or even a week at a time. He loved to stay with me... we did a lot of things together and spent a lot of quality time in each other’s company.

On Christmas Eve, I always went to stay at my Son and Daughter-In-Law’s family home, so that I could see Daniel and his Sister open their Christmas stockings and Santa Sacks. I’d sleep on the sofa, so that I was there when they came down in the morning, which was inevitably early. Then, that over, I would stay for dinner and tea, and we would exchange gifts after dinner. I really enjoyed those times, as did the children. They used to put on their Santa hats and hand out the presents from under the tree, and then sit on the floor and open their own.

In 1994, Daniel was diagnosed with cancer, and after some two and a half years of treatment and a lot of fretful times for the whole family, he gave up the fight, at 2.00 p.m. on 27th December, 1996, just seven years and three months old. He had managed to open all his presents and examine them, but only one had been played with… the rest, were never touched.

The year following his passing, something quite strange happened. I went to bed, on Christmas Eve, or the early hours of Christmas morning, and was lying in bed, when I heard a fluttering noise, which disturbed me. It was pitch dark and quite cold too, so I wondered what it was, and after a while, when the fluttering didn’t stop, I got out of bed and switched on the light. I looked around and beheld a Red Admiral Butterfly. Strange, I thought, at this time of the year, and flying in the dark. Normally butterflies are inanimate in the dark hours, or so I thought and I certainly wouldn’t have expected to see one in the Winter. I decided to leave it until morning, when it settled on the top of the bedroom curtain. Then, when it was light, I thought, I could open the window and let it free. So, with that, I switched off the light and climbed back into bed.

I slept until about eight, and it was still quite dark, so I went and made breakfast and ate that before going back into the bedroom to let the butterfly free. I walked over to the window… but where was the butterfly? It was nowhere to be seen. I carefully searched the folds of the curtain, then drew them back to see if the creature had seen daylight and gone to the window. No sign… it had disappeared. I wondered if perhaps it had been too cold and died during the night thus dropping off the curtain head onto the floor. I searched the whole bedroom, but found nothing. I was more than a little concerned about this because my belief is that all things have a spirit. So, when I went to my Son and Daughter-In-Law’s house later, I told Di what had happened, and the feeling I had about it. For some reason, it was nagging at my mind… could this have been Daniel’s spirit, come to ensure I was happy at Christmas time, and to show me that he was still with us in spirit, if not in body? Where had the creature gone? Did it show at my family’s home? They hadn’t seen anything… I was the only one who had, so I didn’t think any more of it, although I did search the bedroom one more time on my return home, and still found nothing.

The following year, I was sitting at my computer on Christmas Eve, talking to some friends online, when I again heard a fluttering. It was in the daylight hours, at about three o’clock in the afternoon. I felt this warm feeling engulf me, so I looked around, and there, sure enough, was a Red Admiral Butterfly. It had come again… I couldn’t believe it. Once was acceptable, maybe even coincidental... but a second time? I surely had to be right in my assumptions. I didn’t want to hurt the little creature, of course, so I opened all the windows wide, and pulled back the nets, so that it could fly out, but it wouldn’t go. It stayed, right on into the evening, and then, windows closed again, it just seemed to disappear. I hunted around for it. The only place I could think it might have disappeared to was the attic. I had been up there earlier for some Christmas wrapping and ribbons, which I store up there. So, I climbed up to the roof space again, but nothing flew towards the light and it was pretty cold up there in the Winter, so I doubt it would have gone up there. Another mysterious disappearance coming into Christmas Day.

The butterfly came back every year after that, and the last time I remember was 2005 when I found it fluttering in the hallway, and above the stairs. It occasionally settled on the wall light shades, and eventually on the net curtain on the front door. It was a lovely, sunny day, so I went down the stairs and opened the front door wide, talking to the butterfly as I did so. I told him I was very happy to see him on Christmas Eve again, but that he ought to go outside into his natural habitat, or he might not survive. I left the door open all afternoon. The butterfly was still there at four o’clock, but when I checked back at half past four, he had gone. I closed the door, with tears in my eyes, for I was now convinced that this was Daniel’s spirit coming to visit me each Christmas Eve, just as I had visited him each year whilst he was here.

Last year, 2006, the butterfly didn’t show. That was ten years after Daniel had left us for the Otherworld. Well, I’ll leave the rest to you to ponder, but I believe in reincarnation, and I’m at peace now, in the thought that after ten years, Daniel’s spirit was reborn into a new body, and he now spends Christmas with his new family and loved ones. I still light a candle for him at two o’clock on the 27th December, each year, and spend my time in meditation and thoughts of the little boy who made such a mark on everybody and every creature he encountered.

At his farewell service, his Head Teacher read out some little thoughts the other children in his class had written about Daniel when they learned of their loss. I would like for you to read some of these, in the hope that you’ll understand just how precious he was.

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Last night I saw two stars in the sky and I imagined it was my Nanny and Daniel saying “hello” to me.

From Mikeva

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When I didn’t have anything to play yet, Daniel used to play “It” with me.

From Tim

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To Mr and Mrs .....

I am very sorry to hear that Daniel has died. I cried a lot. He was my best friend. He smiled to me and he was nice to me.

From Mikeva

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I remember Daniel coming to my house and playing Snakes and Ladders with me. I will miss him.

Love Matthew

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Daniel always cheered me up when I was lonely. He told me funny stories.

Love Storm xxx

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

Daniel played with me and I was sad when I heard that he had died. I will miss him.

From Jodie

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Dear ..... Family

I am very sad that your son died. I remember that he helped me and I cared for him.

Love Daisy xxxx

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Daniel and I made model toys there and he told me some funny jokes.

Love Lewis

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

When I was lonely Daniel came and played with me. I will miss him.

From Luke

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Once when he was sad I pulled funny faces to make him laugh.

Love Steven B

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

Daniel read me a story and told me funny jokes.

From Liam

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Daniel and I would jump on the colour red map in the playground.

Love Ben P

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

Sorry I heard about Daniel. I hope you are well. He read me a book.

Love From Lee xxxxx

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Daniel used to knock for me and we would play Stick In The Mud together. I will miss him.

Love Ben M

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Daniel was my best friend. We played football together. He wade some wicket shots.

Love from Shane

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

I am very sorry to hear that Daniel has died. I like him because when I am alone in the playground he comes and says “Can you play with me?”

From Samantha

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Daniel and I played Hopscotch together and he read me stories.

Nichoel

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

Everyone is sad. Even I’m sad too but Daniel made me laugh.

From Charlie

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Daniel played “It” with me in the playground. We were friends.

Love Russell

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

I am very sorry about your son Daniel. He used to make me laugh.

From Chantelle

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Daniel would say funny things to me and make me laugh. He would always peek when we play hide and seek.

Love from Laura

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Daniel would always chase me when I sang a Spice Girls song to him.

Love Charlotte

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Daniel would always lend me his rubber when I sat next to him. He was kind.

Love From Kieran

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Daniel and I made models of a duck together in Wet Play time. Daniel made quacking noises. He was always funny.

Love

Gavin

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Dear Mr and Mrs .....

I felt sad when I heard about Daniel. He played with me in the playground. He was my friend.

From Leanne

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Whenever I was lonely in the playground Daniel would pop up like magic and play with me.

Love Jermaine

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I remember Daniel asking to play football with me and my brother. Him and his Sister beat us 7-1.

Love from Christopher

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I saw a star and I knew it was Daniel because it was shining and it was smiling at me.

Charlie P

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