By now you've probably read plenty on how to manage the debilitating "down times" of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But are you paying attention to how you live when you have the much cherished "up time" or "good day" or "feel almost like a well person moment"? Speaking from experience, what we do or do not do during that fleeting moment when the CFS cloud seems to lift, can sometimes make a profound difference in our future well-being. In fact, I think I could almost go so far as to say that it may mean the difference between recovering or not.

We CFS-ers are forced to spend so much time out of commission, so to speak, that when that beautiful "good day", "week", or "moment" happens we tend to want desperately to make up for lost time. So, what do we do? We clean that bathtub that has three different colors of scum growing around its edges. We feel a little nagging worry that maybe we should stop. After all, that's more activity than we've seen in ages. But, no. We can surely get something else in before the inevitable crash. We can organize the office that has completely gone to pot in our mental and physical absence. That's not too terribly demanding, right? Then, we notice that while not actually feeling energetic, we also aren't completely dragging our backsides like we usually are after just crossing the room. So why stop now? We're behind on LIFE! Let's catch up!

Is this sounding familiar? And how does the story end? For the next week or maybe even month your plethera of symptoms has returned with a wicked vengeance. The phrase "You play you pay" keeps running through your head as you try to brush your teeth while sitting numbly on the toilet lid. You curse yourself for going too far. What's even harder to take, your spouse seems irritated with you for overdoing again. What may be nearly impossible for a well person to understand is that we don't lay around because we've lost interest in living. We lay around wanting nothing more than to be out there living our lives and just can't. So when our CFS cloud lifts momentarily, it's like a little child who's been sitting at the window all day watching the rain pour down on his brand new swingset. He wants nothing more than to be trying out that shiny new slide, so what does he do? In between cloudbursts he dashes out and climbs madly up those steps and gets in as many trips down that slide as he possibly can before the clouds open up again and he's forced back inside to stare out the window. But we pay dearly when we try to make up for lost time. What to do?

First, come to grips with this fact: For a person with CFS, once your energy is exhausted you may not be able to see it again for days or weeks. Your energy is precious and is to be guarded and used very judiciously. This can be frustrating to the point of tears. But if you can become economical with the way you spend or expend your energy, you will gradually begin to reap the rewards of your economy. How do you do this?

1. LISTEN to your body. If it is saying "I must lay down", then if at all possible answer that need. So you were just beginning to get a little momentum going on the house or that long-abandoned project. If you want to get back to it any time soon, you'll stop and rest. Maybe even be done for the day.

2. STOP while you're ahead. I believe this is an art that all CFS-ers MUST learn. When you're in a good zone, DO NOT wait until you feel tired to stop. Make up your mind ahead of time that you will be content just getting anything at all done. You already know by now easy it is to cross the line of overdoing. Usually we don't even see it coming. One minute we are fine. The next we can barely breathe, let alone stand. Don't get to that point. Remember the reward is that you may very well be able to do a little more tomorrow and the next day and so on. It will be worth it.

3. TAKE NAPS. I know. You feel like a loser taking a nap in the middle of the day while everyone else is out there living. But if you want to get back out there, you have to view naps like your MEDICINE. On bad days, we have no choice but to nap or even lay there wishing we could sleep because we're so tired we feel like someone unplugged us from the power source. So why in the world would we want to nap when we are actually feeling a little more awake? Because, that's the time our bodies get to do a little healing. You are napping your way back into your old life. I did not start to improve until I allowed myself to nap and rest daily. It was a huge mental block I had to overcome. But I started to gradually get better and better once I accepted it as a necessity.

4. Stay on a HEALTHY SCHEDULE even when you're feeling better. Resist the urge to live like a well person. You aren't. You have to fight to hang on to your good days. A good way to do that is to keep a good morning schedule and even more importantly bedtime schedule. Not easy to adhere to when you feel better and want to enjoy the night life like you did pre-CFS. Giving in to this can cause you to lose a lot of ground. It's just not worth it.

5. Say NO. When friends and family start to notice that you seem to be more like your old self again, the demands on your time and energy are bound to increase. Be careful. That newfound time and energy is something to treasure. Don't let guilt allow you to overbook yourself. Let your friends or family know that it makes you feel wonderful just to have them ask you for help, but that you still have to keep a close eye on your stamina and health, because CFS patients have a strong tendency to relapse. Those who really care about you will understand and those who don't understand, well, that's not your problem really. You have an obligation to keep yourself as well as possible so that you CAN be a part of not just their lives, but your own.

These five steps will help you be proactive in regaining your health. Few people with CFS ever have a full recovery. But what you need to know is that many of us have regained our lives to an extent that we are happy functioning souls who still have much to give and receive. Learning how to live during the "up times" can bring us to a place where we have more good days than bad. And that's more than a lot of "well" people can say.