Caliente means WHOA!
71Caliente! That is the only Spanish word I know, and it means very hot! I am not much into spicy foods, but one day my daughter and I went to lunch at a burger place in town. Upon sitting down, we noticed they had "World famous" hot wings advertised. This is where it gets ugly.
Along with their fantastic burgers and world famous hot wings, they also have a collection of evil hot sauces. Some of the bottle actually have warning labels and the restaurant makes you sign a waiver to even use those sauces.
My daughter did not know about the warning label, she just saw "Kill Ya Hot" on one of the bottles and thought, it would be funny to watch her mother tear up a bit. She dared me to try a bite of the spicy hot wings, claiming that they were not that bad, so I did.
"Ah gon el ma tung"! I muttered. No folks, the spelling is not wrong, it is what happens to a person when they feel as though they are going into anaphylactic shock! I was merely trying to beg for help, as I "Couldn't feel my tongue".
My eyes started to tear up, my nose was running like a bad spring allergy and I swear I think my lungs were collapsing. I kept pinching my cheeks and lips, while whining. I put my finger to my tongue and screamed, "eeere", my daughter said, what? I again started crying saying, "eere, eere, ot!".
The waitress ran over and asked if she could help and my daughter yelled, I think she said get her a beer. Quickly the waitress ran off and came back with a giant mug of beer. What in the world were they trying to do to me? My daughter in a state of panic quickly jumped up and force fed me the mug of beer.
I choked and gasped and begged for forgiveness, as I clearly knew I was about to die! The beer only made things worse and temperatures were rising in my mouth and throat. There was no time for explaining that I was just saying, "here, it is hot, here". So I grabbed the vase of flowers and quickly drank the water.
The young, naive (putting it nicely) waitress came running over and proceeded to tell me that I could not drink the flower water, that she would get me a glass of drinking water. If I had been able to speak I would have told her I do not normally enjoy drinking "flower-nated water" with stems and thorns, but this was an emergency. But I didn't in fear of what they would bring me next, because of the language barrier.
Things started to cool down slightly, but the stinging sensation was still very present. I believe that the waitress and my daughter both went to the same medical class, because my daughter thought it necessary to pull out a wipey cloth from its little packet and wipe my tongue with it. So now my palate had the taste of soap, disinfectant, chili and flower preservatives. I never did get a chance to try the burger, but I can tell you the hot wings are to die for!
Share it! — Rate it: up down [flag this hub]
Comments
OMG! This is hilarious! I dearly love hot foods but I don't want to burn the hair off my toungue, either! LOL. Sounds to me like it is payback time for you!
Bonnie
Hysterical! I'm with Bonnie..sounds like payback time to me, too.
Next time something like that happens, keep away from water as well as beer. Instead, take a big hunk of bread and keep chewing it and running it around the inside of your mouth for about 20 seconds. It'll absorb and neutralize some of the hot stuff.
Thanks you guys :) I have since fully recovered, and yes, payback is a you know what! Thanks for reading!
Sally, this is good info! I never had heard about the bread! I'll remember that the next time I do get ahold of something that's "too hot to handle" LOL
Bonnie
Sounds like something I would enjoy having. I still remember my first Vindaloo... oh boy that was caliente lol
Princessa, Vindaloo is how I learned the bread trick! It was in an old-time Indian restaurant in London many years ago, and my dining partner was a retired RAF gentleman who loved Vindaloo. He said, "Would you like to try some?" Of course I did. But he had also made sure there was bread on the table beforehand.
Erinn, now that you know the secret, you have to keep it to yourself if you are going to do a hot-hot payback on your daughter!
Great writing! toooooooooo funny, so funny I had to run to the little girl's room! You poor thing! What's not funny though, is that you were probably scared to death wondering what was happening and would you recover,,,I know that would have crossed my mind! I can't help but feel too, that those people who serve that stuff do it on purpose, to laugh themselves silly at people's reactions.
Glad you recovered and it didn't leave you permanently scarred! And, that you can now laugh about it,,,
Thanks for sharing,,
Very funny. I can't handle the really spicy stuff either. This reminds me of an indident at home with a spicy shrimp meal I destroyed. Thanks for the laughs.
Looks yummy. Great insight
brilliant!! having lived in southern europe myself I understand what you must have gone through having tried to be daring on more than one occasion myself!
Thanks people!
Apparently someone has copied my article here, so sad :( But this restaurant has my article in their magazine, so it was a hit I guess. 710 Grill is awesome, and thank goodness I live down the street from them...yum yum!
LOL!!! This was a fun article to read. I like spicy food but not too caliente! And yikes, it is indeed sad when someone steals another's work. Guess they don't know about karma being a bitch. ;)
Found myself in a similar situation at the Town and Country Resort in San Diego and was, like you trying to put out the flames with beer. A Hispanic waiter brought me a glass of milk. Worked wonders and saved my day.
With all this advice, I think I can now attempt 710 Grill again!
Great Info. Thanks
working
amy jane says:
6 weeks ago
Hilarious, Erinn! Very entertaining - sounds like something my daughter would do to me, as well! I usually like burning spice, but that sounds like a bit much! :)