The girls were out of town this weekend, so the boys and I took advantage of our male freedom and went camping at nearby Jordan Lake.  Though the weather was hot and humid, we had a great time together.  Each of the boys chipped in and helped, according to his ability.  There was no whining, nor was there any complaining, and that was a reminder to me that the camping we've done in the past has been beneficial for many reasons.  I need to keep doing these trips with the kids, even as they're not so little any more.

I was thinking about camping and life experiences.  We've done quite a bit of camping in the past, and there are several things that our experiences have instilled in my kids, including: responsibility, sharing the load, attitude, flexibility, and enjoyment of nature.

With the girls out of town, the boys stayed home on that Friday morning while I was at work. The oldest is age sixteen and is quite adept at being in charge of his younger siblings. I have an online list of what to take when we go camping, and while I was at work the boys worked through the list, gathering everything that was needed. By the time I arrived home in the middle of the afternoon, they had gathered everything and it was in a pile in the kitchen.

The boys also had gathered the food to take with, and that sure made it easy for me. A lot of this stems from having gone camping before; they could visualize what it would be like and they could think about things we would need so that we could do what needed to be done. For example, they knew we needed a hammer to pound in the tent stakes, even though I didn't have a hammer on the list of items to bring. They also realized that we needed to bring a can opener for the pork and beans.

Preparing for the camping trip was a great exercise, especially for my oldest son. He had all the food related stuff in bags, organized so that he knew where things could be found. He also made sure that the things that were needed to be done around the house were taken care of before we left (such as taking out garbage, making sure the chickens had enough food and water, etc).

This type of learning experience isn't something that you have to go camping to find; it can be found in all kinds of activities around the home. The point is to give the kids responsibility -- let them be in charge of some things -- and they will learn and grow from that.

What are some of the things you can do around the house to help expand a child's ability to take on responsibility? We have a "chore chart" that we keep on the refrigerator door. According to age, the kids are assigned different tasks for each meal -- setting the table, wiping the table and counter tops afterward, sweeping the floor, washing dishes, or cooking. They take turns taking care of the chickens. They're supposed to keep their stuff picked up so that it's not scattered all over the house (that doesn't always work, partly because we tend to stay so busy that tidiness sometimes isn't a high priority).

We also involve the kids in cooking the meals; from youngest to oldest, everyone can do something. Last night, for example, I was grilling something for dinner and I asked my youngest son to prepare the salad. He and I got the ingredients out of the refrigerator, and he took it from there, washing and tearing the lettuce, cutting the cucumber, washing the cherry tomatoes, etc.

The key though is that the kids know that certain things are expected of them, and there are consequences if those expectations are not met (e.g., if a friend calls up and wants one of my kids to come over for a sleep-over, it's not going to happen if my kid's room isn't clean or if he hasn't been keeping up with his chores).

This goes hand in hand with responsibility, and that is that each kid is expected to pull his weight. The younger kids need to jump in and help wherever and whenever they can, though it also means they'll be asking questions of the parents or the older kids on how to do some things.

The kids help out with yard work and working in the garden. We recently completed constructing a new chicken coop, and all the kids pitched in with that. The older kids of course did more of the work, but everybody helped.

It can be trying as a parent to have little ones help sometimes. Tasks progress more slowly than they might if you did the tasks yourself; however, having the kids help also gives the kids a sense of ownership, plus it teaches them that they're expected to help.

I love it on a Saturday morning when I call out, "I need a volunteer," and one or more kids will respond affirmatively, even though they may not know what task lies ahead. Sometimes a volunteer is needed for a five minute task, and sometimes the task is pretty big. I'll never forget one Saturday last fall where I asked for a volunteer, and my youngest daughter ran downstairs with an eager, "I will!" We ended up working outside on project for FOUR HOURS together. Not once did she complain -- in fact, she had a great attitude and worked incredibly hard the entire time -- even though she had no idea beforehand that I was planning on tackling that particular project.

It's simply expected that kids will help out with the chores. The kids know that and they participate willingly. By including them in chores and tasks as early as possible, they'll grow up with that mindset.

I don't tolerate whining. I don't tolerate complaining. I don't tolerate doing things with a grumpy attitude.

I have to set the example in our household -- if I whine or complain about anything, that gives my children license to do the same. I try to make it a habit of not whining, and for the most part I think I stick to that pretty well.

So the weather this past weekend, while we were camping, was exceptionally hot. It's okay to acknowledge that it's hot -- that can be done without whining. As a parent, I focus on the positive things -- the sunset, the cool morning air, the fish that we caught, the great dinner or breakfast we ate, etc.

Teach the kids to be appreciative for what you have; in your current environment or situation, there are things for which you can be grateful and thankful. Take the time to identify those things and point them out to the kids. This isn't something to be done in a heavy handed way. You don't need to say, "Boy it's hot, but let's be sure to be grateful for those pancakes we had this morning." Rather, a simple, "Boy these pancakes are good," goes a long ways to establishing the right attitude.

I'm not talking about touching your toes without bending your knees; I'm talking about being willing to compromise and putting others before yourself.

While camping this weekend, some wanted to swim and some wanted to fish; some wanted to eat sooner and some wanted to eat later; and some wanted to head out after lunch and some wanted to stay as late as we possibly could.

The parent is the moderator of these kinds of decisions. Sometimes there are logical reasons why one activity makes more sense than another activity (e.g., we had to check out of the park by 3pm, so we didn't have the option of fishing or swimming all afternoon). When it boils down to preferences, the parent has to be willing to give in also, as long as it doesn't compromise other values.

(I am not talking about grocery store tantrums and giving in to those kinds of things ... I'm talking about swimming versus fishing, or playing one card game versus another card game, or whatever).

Again, this is something the parent can do by example. The kids watch closely as they're growing up, seeing how parents handle different situations. If they know that you want something, but they see you going along with someone else's wishes, that sets a great tone in demonstrating how we don't always get our own way (nor do we need to).

 Even on the hottest of days, and even on the coldest of days, I think it's great to get outside and enjoy the nature that God has given us.

We had finished setting up the tent; we had started the campfire to begin dinner preparations; and I was stoking the fire a bit, when my oldest son called out, "Dad, come look at the sunset."  He was down by the lake.  I went down to join him, and the sky was beautiful; the deep orange hues were shimmering on the lake; and it was an awesome scene. 

And then last night, as my youngest son and I were putting stuff away in the garage, he said, "Dad, look at the sky."  I looked, and it was filled with deep blues and pinks in another breathtaking sunset.

I'm pleased that my boys were able to call those things to my attention, instead of me needing to be the one to have to constantly remind them.

Turn off the television and get away from the computer.  Go outside and play some football, baseball, basketball, kickball, frisbee, soccer, or whatever.  Go for a walk; go fishing; go camping; do something to enjoy the outdoors.

Camping is a simple activity.  Sure, it involves some planning and packing, and the weather doesn't always cooperate.  It's a microcosm of life, though, and it provides ample opportunity to teach children responsibility and other things that will be useful later on in their lives.