Can You Be "Friends With Benefits" and Stay Friends?
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What are "Friends with Benefits"?
It's difficult when you are friends with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your preferences) and not be attracted to that person in some way. You are friends, so obviously there are things that you like enough about this person to be friends with them. The line is easily blurred between friends and lovers, if you let it get that way.
Sometimes our friends turn into our lovers, but never turn into our boyfriend/girlfriend. That is when you have a friends with benefits type situation. I'm sure that it sounds good to most. How could you have a better situation? You get to hang out, and have optional hook up time if you want it, but when you cross this line, can you go back to being just friends?
So Can You Be Friends After You Have Hooked Up?
I don't think it is ever a good idea to get involved with a friend. When you get involved with a friend sexually there is no turning back. You have now gone to a place. Most of the time this sexual relationship starts because one of the friends has a crush on the other, and it escalates from there.
Here is what pretty much always happens. Let's give a hypothetical situation to understand it more easily. Let's say Jane and Josh are friends. Josh really likes Jane, but he knows that she is not interested in dating him. They have a lot of fun together and on some occasion they let their basic animal instincts take over and they have sex. Now it could be awkward, but it isn't. They decide that this is a great relationship for them. It's all the fun of a best friend, with the fun of a lover with no strings. Or so they think.... So one day Jane goes on a date with someone else. She dates him for a little while and decides that she really likes him. She tells Josh that she can't hook up anymore because she is going to date this other guy exclusively. Josh is heartbroken, and their friendship can never go back to the way it was.
I know this probably seems like a made up story but I know people that it has happened to, and it has happened to me. So just think how valuable your friends are before you do anything crazy!
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Comments
I had a roommate for a year that was my friend with benefits. We fell in love temporarily, but all I became was the wife with no strings attached. It has been devastating, but I still can't let go. We are a pathetic pair. There is no way, when you have a close friend that you continue to have sex with.
hi me and a friend are having sex but we do not want to have a relationship together what do use think will happen
thats so alsome
its cool the upside butt its alsome.
email me later to talk in hub pages
sure ya can be friends with f*ck buddies after the sex ends me and mine r still great friends and we both have strong relatioships now. at the time we were both hurtin from past breakups so it suited us not to get 2 involed but we both lay the foundation for each other to heal and go on to relatioships that make us happy. we know each others new partners there is no jelousy or bad fellings. gotta keep in mind that u r friends not parners not lovers just FRIENDS with a little extra.
i totalyy agreee even if it hasnt happened like that to me with basic animal instincts
i think its true
meanman007 the person u were sleeping with was the mother of my kids after u tried to throw me down a flight of stairs to muscle ur way in then rang the police on me when i tried to keep my family together u r a piece of scum
Robin says:
3 years ago
The upside is you may end up marrying your best friend as I did. Had it not worked out, it would have been devastating, but I'm so thankful it did. I always enjoy reading your posts, Carey. Thanks for sharing your insights! ;)