Would I like to make a lot of money online?

Sure! I would love to make lots of money from writing about my dogs.

Would I be willing to learn about Google AdSense, Google Analytics, ClickBank, affiliate marketing and SEO to make money?

Sure!

Would I be willing to try and improve my writing skills and at the very least use a spell checker?

Sure!

But there are some things that I would not do to make money online ...

Get that web traffic! Get that click through rate up!

How much Google AdSense earnings did you make this month? How can I get more? How can I get better keywords, higher paying keywords, keywords that I can rank highly on?

Let's keep going. Write more articles, create more blogs, join more social networking sites - HubPages, Squidoo, eZine, Associated Content, Blogger, Wordpress, youTube, Twitter, Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon!

If you truly want to make money online then write about cancer. Cancer is a high paying, click topic. There are many people out there with cancer or related to people with cancer. They are desperate, and will just click, click, and click.

Which cancer keywords should I try to capture? Which cancer keywords pay the most? How can I rank highly on all things related to cancer? Will I be able to make $1000 a month? Perhaps $2000?

Let's keep going. One hundred cancer articles in 30 days - let's get charged up and make this work!

In our fervor to get views, clicks, and yes, that almighty dollar, we sometimes forget that on the other side of our articles, on the other side of Google Search are regular people, with problems, some of them serious problems - like cancer.

Several of my aunts have had to go through cancer - surgeries, chemo-therapy, cancer medications. Cancer runs on my mother's side of the family, so I am on the higher risk list of getting it too.

I try to get educated about this terrible disease ... what do I find?

Keyword stuffed articles with flashing advertisements. Buy this! Buy it now! Click, click, click.

Were you looking for some serious information?

So sorry. We are all out of that, but why don't you click on one of our high paying advertisements so that we can make money online and become rich, rich, rich!

Our articles are clogging up the system, and making it much harder for you to find actual information?

So sorry. We are trying to raise our click through rate, so we must write, write, write. Write as much as we can and maybe something will stick. If we write enough, we will surely get some clicks.

Why don't you click, click, click, maybe one of the advertisements will have what you need.

Put actual information in our articles?

Clearly you are just a daft person who is worried about cancer. If we provided you with the information that you need, you wouldn't need to click now would you? Daft! Now stop being daft and click, click, click.

We will forgive you as long as you click. Go ahead - you know you want to.

To make money online we must throw away useless morals, high minded principles... those will only earn us a living in a tent next to a garbage dump.

No, no, no that is not for me. What harm can it do anyway, there are hundreds, perhaps even thousands already doing this.

Let's keep going. Churn out those cancer articles. It does not matter that I have no experience with cancer, am not a doctor, and have no clue what I am talking about. All I have to do is sound funny, throw in some keywords, affiliate links, and set it to boil. Wait for 10 minutes, garnish with some backlinks, tweet, digg, stumble, and voila - bon apetit.

How much money did you make this month online?

Hundreds, thousands, soon I will be richer than Midas!

Why are you crying in your tent by the garbage dump?

Come join me. You too can make millions. Get that mansion, all those babes, cabana boys, or whatever else floats your boat.

No? ok, ok, I'll let you clean my toilets and be my cabana boy, will you stop crying now?

Contrary to common belief, there are other ways to make money.

For example, you could actually become a doctor and help cure cancer, how about that?

But what keywords do I use? Where do I place my advertisements? Should I tweet? digg? What?! Tell me!

Actually you just go to medical school, work your ass off, graduate, and make lots of money by actually helping people with cancer.

But even a pin prick makes me swoon!

That is ok, I am a wuss too. How about becoming an engineer, a scientist, an actuary, a pilot, a chef, a teacher, a secretary, a waitress, anything - even a lawyer. Even that has a more positive effect on society than being a cancer salesman.

If you want to make money online, try online gaming. Some people make good money from collecting online money and selling it on eBay.

That is a very valid question.

I am the crap decider of my own content as you are of yours. But before hitting the Publish button, be the crap decider.

Cancer is not some game. Cancer affects real people and is very traumatic. People affected by cancer do not need to sift through pages and pages of junk before they get to something they can use. Don't they already have enough on their plate?

There is enough crap in the world - there is no need for more. There are many better ways to make money and still keep your soul intact.