In the biggest "no-duh" story of the year, Clay Aiken came out of the closet today. In the spirit of healthy communication, I'd think it is well past time that the Vegas odds on who the next gay celebrity to come out of the closet could be!

So, you gamblers, get ready to call your bookies, but don't come looking for me if it doesn't pan. This is for entertainment purposes only, ya mooks.

An easy money bet if there ever was one. Ms. Foster is a fabulous actress who has been living in a glass closet for some time. Being an A-lister, it is a bit more of a gamble for her to come out than, say, Nathan Lane, but give it time. She's shown a social conscious and she'll do it when she's good and ready.

But I ask: where is Panic Room 2?

The Situation Room must be in the closet. Anderson Cooper is another open secret among the gay community. Personally, I love him and think he's a great journalist. Journalists like himself don't get as much leeway with their personal life as some of the big time Hollywood stars do.

Still, he's in a great position to do some good and raise awareness.

He's also in a great position to flirt with Ryan Seacrest. He can do better, I think, but to each his own. Go get 'em, tiger.

Tom Cruise, sex idol world wide. Married to Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman, and Mimi Rogers, all great beauties in their own right. How could he be gay?

Well, he never had sex with Mimi Rogers once during their marriage. And the rumor is he wasn't too keen on Ms. Kidman either. NICOLE KIDMAN. If he's not interested in her, he's definitely batting for the other team.

But don't expect any tearful announcements to People magazine any time soon. Scientology is banking on him and Katie to provide lots of miracle babies for the new millenium.

Every horserace needs a long shot. And don't you think he's trying just a little bit too hard?

That's it, all betting is off. Please keep your tickets on your person. See ya 'til the next BBQ at Larry Craig's house.