create your own

Celebrities' Secret Thoughts

73
rate or flag this page

By Om Paramapoonya

Have you ever wondered what kind of thinking is going on in celebrities' heads? Are their thoughts as interesting as their appearances, or are they rotten and vile, or those vain celebrities don't even think about anything at all but themself? I have tried using my telepathic power to read their minds and here is what I have discovered. (Don't take it too seriously; I was a little sleepy, so my extrasensory perception could have been unsound.)

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton

Britney Spears Flashing
Britney Spears Flashing

Britney Spears Parody


Some say poor scatterbrained Britney who forgot to put on her panties has been abused mercilessly by the media. Wait a minute...She forgot? I don't think so. It was unmistakably deliberate! She intentionally flashed her private part. She knew that as soon as she opened the car door, all the hawkeyed paparazzi were going to snap their cameras. In other words, she's aware that she is a falling pop star and must try to get some kind of attention.

Is it possible that she genuinely forgot? Hmm...it is possible, but I'm not buying it. Not buying it AT ALL. If she is old enough to get married and have two children, she should be old enough to know when to put on her panties as well. Besides, most gentlewomen, even with their underwear on, would at least try to be a bit careful and wouldn't open their legs so wide when they get out of a car. You can call me uptight, but I really think every celebrity should keep their noony private.

Final suggestions to Britney: Go buy some panties at 99ยข Store. And also don't breed anymore; you're not mature enough to take care of children.

Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis

Demi, Ashton and Bruce
Demi, Ashton and Bruce

Demi and Ashton Video

Demi and Ashton, despite their fifteen years of age difference, is one of the most enviable couples in Hollywood. The two always seem so in love, so into each other. They have proved that ages are just numbers and don't affect their relationship at all. Being quite a young stepfather, Ashton has impressively managed to get along with Demi's teenaged children as well as her ex-husband, Bruce Willis. Pictures of Demi, her husband and her ex hanging out together are often shown on Hollywood tabloids. Most of the time, Bruce seems pretty cool with it. But from this photo, it doesn't look like he really enjoys being the odd man out.

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson at a Dallas Cowboys game
Jessica Simpson at a Dallas Cowboys game

Jessica Simpson Talking about School

Since Jessica Simpson began dating her new beau, Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys, their relationship has been criticized almost incessantly. Some say they're perfect for each other. Some say she could be a huge distraction for him. Some even go as fas as saying that the Cowboys lost to the New York Giants in the playoffs because Romo had spent his time wastefully during the week before the game, by going on a trip to Mexico with Simpson. (Would people have made it such a big deal if he had taken some no-name girl to Mexico instead of her?)

Anyway, I have tried to use my telepathy to penetrate into her brain and succeeded, though I found nothing in it. It is really blank.

Watch Jessica Simpson Bikini Video

Terrell Owens

Terrell Owens (Cry Baby)
Terrell Owens (Cry Baby)

Terrell Owens, AKA Cry Baby

Although Simpson and Romo are the ones who have been blamed because of their "notorious" vacation, the person whose feelings have been hurt the most by such criticism turns out to be Terrell Owens, Romo's teammate. He tearfully told the media how unfair it is for people to point the finger at his quarterback. "That's my teammate!" he said, paused and sniffled miserably. "That's my quarterback!"

The fact that he shed his tears in front of the media is not that strange; I'm sure people have seen other big tough athletes cry before. It's the reason he cried that is so laughable. "That's my quarterback!!!" Well, I don't know what happened to the old T.O who used to be shamelessly pompous and inexhaustibly brassy. Now? He's as tame and lame as a kitty.

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama

Hillary and Barack's seemingly friendly handshake
Hillary and Barack's seemingly friendly handshake

I have no comment for this. The picture explains it all!

The Various Faces of Hillary Clinton


Comments

RSS for comments on this Hub

pjdscott profile image

pjdscott  says:
2 years ago

A really funny account, yet containing a lot of truths. I totally agree - it is sad how former 'A listers' will seem to do anything to keep in the limelight. It must be difficult for them to accept it - but hey - join the rat race like the rest of us! Thumbs up for a great Wednesday morning's entertainment.

Om Paramapoonya profile image

Om Paramapoonya  says:
2 years ago

Of course it contains a lot of truths; my telepathic power doesn't lie lol Have a goofy day, Peter ;-)

Hieu  says:
2 years ago

Thanks Om for the T.O. piece. I had never seen it before. Took me by surprise. What happened to the old T.O.? Please use your telepathic power to find out. As a 49er and Giant fan, the piece made my day.

Om Paramapoonya profile image

Om Paramapoonya  says:
2 years ago

Hi Hieu! Thanks for stopping by. I miss you. Don't forget to show this to David. Cowboys are lame!!!! Go Giants!

solarshingles profile image

solarshingles  says:
2 years ago

It is not so easy to be a top celebrity. You have absolutely no privacy. You need to be perfect at all times and that is not simple at all. Paparazzi are just chasing them all over the world to catch them not prepared and to expose them to the world media. Princess Diana lost her life, because of that.

Om Paramapoonya profile image

Om Paramapoonya  says:
2 years ago

True. And that's very sad. Princess Diana was a victim of paparazzi. They tried to expose her all the time. She did not try to expose herself like Britney did, though.

beachbum_gabby profile image

beachbum_gabby  says:
2 years ago

I agree with you. Truth really hurts.. ^__^

sharikraemer73  says:
2 years ago

I like the Jessica Simpson one.

Om Paramapoonya profile image

Om Paramapoonya  says:
2 years ago

=D

Lgali profile image

Lgali  says:
10 months ago

very funny

Submit a Comment

Members and Guests

Sign in or sign up and post using a hubpages account.


optional


  • No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked
  • Comments are not for promoting your hubs or other sites

working