Has Britney Spears shaved her head and beat a paparazzi's car with an umbrella lately? Has she abandoned her children or does she have a new fling? Maybe someone has finally taken that photograph up Miley Cyrus' skirt that you've all been waiting for. Pamela Anderson has done something dirty again and Howard Stern is talking about. You should check out that cellulite that someone photoshopped onto Natalie Portman's butt so they could sell a couple of extra copies on the news stand. Michael Jackson is now deceased leaving the media deeply saddened that they only have a short time to make a fortune exploiting him again. Im pretty sure now that OJ Simpson is in prison we won't be hearing much from him anytime soon. Rihanna and Chris Brown are indeed no exception and Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and a few lucky others know the glory of modern video recording technology.

Americans are obsessed with celebrities. We know when they eat, when they sleep, who they are sleeping with. We're watching when they cross the street, or when they are on the beach. We're chasing them with cameras just dying to sell that next 100,000 dollar shot to anyone willing to pay up. Everyone knows whos the bad mom, the deadbeat dad, the drunk, and the porn addict. Sorry David Duchovny I couldn't help myself...

What a wonderful distraction they are. No matter how bad or boring some of our lives might get we will always have these sacrificial scapegoats to look up to. If you think that fame and fortune is all that its cracked up to be, the next time you go out to eat and your not swamped by 200 rabid fans/photographers thank God no one noticed your knack for drama.

Dont get me wrong though, Im not implying that celebrities are the victims. In some cases yes, and others not so much. There are many people out there that are very quick to judge them as long as it offers a decent supplement to their current conversation. Do I think Michael Jackson was guilty? Maybe... but I also know that he was thrust into the lime light at a very young age and never really left it. That type of attention and the ability to get anything you want (money, sex, drugs, houses, cars, boats etc.) has the potential to drive anyone completely insane. Is it a wonder why he was addicted to propofyl?

Americans aren't going to stop watching anytime soon. So as Terrell Owens might say "Getcha' popcorn ready" for the next great American sacrifice. Good luck going to the playoffs with the bills TO we're all paying close attention...