Change of Heart
54When I first started my Hubpages account, I did so because I was invited to a thread about religion. I am an atheist, and the thread was posted by a Christian. I had a lot of resentment towards Christianity because of my upbringing, and I took that resentment out on the pages of this site. I said some things that I regret. I made a Jerk out of myself.
I want to apologize to everyone who I may have insulted. And I want to vow that I will no longer debate about religion or God. There are better things to write about. It is better to pay tribute and respect than to castigate people. Nothing gets accomplished in an argument about spirituality. People do what works for them, and if it really does work, they aren't going to change what they do just because someone tells them they are wrong. Someone more thoughtful than me put it perfectly- faith is faith because it can't be proven; it can only be believed.
I deleted all my previous hubs. Now I'm going to write about things that I enjoy, not things that cause me mental anguish like religion. Thanks to everyone who put up with my aggressive behavior, and I hope that you can forgive me.
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Comments
Maestrowhit;
There is no reason to apologize. It gets 100 times as bad as what you wrote. That was super mild in comparison to a lot of what goes on here. You do not need to avoid the religion battles if you don't want to.
There are a few childish people who hold a grudge here, but there are at least as many mature hubpages members who do not carry it past the actual post itself. Still, it is very strong for you to take this introspective view and respond like this. I will see you around I hope.
By laying out your soul open to others you have shown the kind of greatness which only comes to a really wise among us. Very few people have ability to be tough on themselves. Usually the case is we are strict on others but liberal with ourselves. We all are trying to evolve into better souls taking one step at a time. Glad to see you took that giant leap forward my friend.
countrywoman: thank you for the kind, encouraging words. Yes we are all working towards being better souls. I like that you don't seem to distinguish between body and soul. We are not a soul within a body, but a soul within a great soul.
So this means you are not going to argue with anyone about their beliefs on hubs or the forums? That you are going to try to initiate peace?
it doesn't mean that I'm going to always be peaceful. It just means that I'm going to avoid arguing points about religious doctrines. You're most likely making an indirect reference to the current climate between VP and I. I am not arguing spirituality with him. I am calling him out for his double-standard, inconsistent behavior. He is rude, nasty, and insulting in one post, and then turns around and presents himself as a humble, loving servant of Christ in another. He makes me sick, and as long as I see him doing that crap, I'm not going to let him coast by without pointing it out to him and everyone else involved. What he does is horrible. He needs to choose to be a follower of Christ or a follower of his own wicked impulses. Or he needs to censor what he says. Until he does that, he is going to get resistance from me.
The issue with VP, as I see it, is not even remotely spiritually based other than VP himself has some issues personally he needs to sort out as far as attitude is concerned. I mean, we all do, but he's notorious for spilling venom when it's not wanted. I have my fair share of days where I like to beckon the argument, but I even refrain from hostility.
Controlling your emotions takes experience and skill - especially if you have extraordinarily powerful emotions. My emotions have gotten the better of me for most of my life until just recently. Most personal attacks on me don't phase me near as much as they would've in the past. But there are some that will certainly provoke me. I'm himan afterall. The think with VP isn't him proving me, though. It's me not letting him get away with being a two-faced jerk. I want him to pick a side and stick with it.
you're "himan" ? lol, new word for me to use!!!
emotions are a God-given gift, it spearates us from animals in the sense we can articulate them skillfully. don't ever lose them, especially as a musician. I for one thrive on my mood swings, they make me what I am :D
Well, you got a typo in the first paragraph. Second sentence. (( I am an aheist, and the thread was posted by a Christian.)) I take it you are saying you're an atheist. I am glad you had a change of heart. One thing I must point out to you though. You didn't say you were an atheist when you first came here. In fact, you said you believed in God, though you didn't say you believed in Jesus or the Bible.
As far as I'm concerned you're forgiven. I would rather meet an honest atheist than to meet a liar who pretends to be something he isn't.
You know something, that's what Jesus wants also. He doesn't want you to pretend. He wants you to believe in Him yes, but He also wants you ot be real and true. Confession is hard sometimes. It is very hard when you know you are guilty.
Stay true and real, even if you don't believe.
this was an old, old post. he's since converted, so no he's not currently an atheist.
This is the first time I have seen it. The last part still stands though.
Be real and true whether you believe or not.
Truly. On Maestro's behalf I'd go into a doctrine rail on succession, which would mean e never truly left the faith at all, but that's for another day. Being true is by far the most important factor, though, which is agreeable.
Yo may be right that he never left, but the prodigal son did actually leave home and his whole family. In fact when he came back his father said, "My son, which was dead, is now alive." (paraphrased)
How was his son dead if he was in the hogpen? I have more on this story but not for this comment. I may do a hub on it soon. It will be mostly about the son who never left. Right now I am going to bed.
TK said correctly. To clear it up, read one of my later hubs entitled, "my transition from atheism to theism." That would also explain some of the stuff VP is attacking me with right now. When I published this hub, I was calling myself an atheist. That changed later on.
I like your thinking, Sirdent. Because that is the one thing that I have always done - I've always been true to myself. If I didn't believe in something, I wasn't going to convince myself that I did just because the majority of other people did believe it. The same holds now. That's why I've been so back and forth in my life about what to call myself in regards to religious afiliation. I honestly have never met someone who shares my beliefs entirely, so I've settled on calling myself simply a theist - one who believes in the existence of God. However, my definition of God is very different from yours.
If I honesltly felt that I was guilty of sins, then I would most certainly confess to it. But I honestly do not feel that. Nor do I honestly believe in an afterlife, or in a place called hell, or almost all of the concepts that make up the Christian faith. If I did believe that stuff in some minute corner of my heart, then I would have to be honest with myself and admit it. But i just do not.
The one who left returned to the ways he was already a part of, realising (or spiritually "expressing") his faith to his father, obviously in the allegorical sense "God." The one who never left is a different story, yes, but regardless the idea of succession is seen throughout all the covenants, which is why I mentioned it as it's hard to ignore. Hope you have a good night SD.
It takes a lot of courage to admit it when you feel like you've made a jerk of yourself. I applaud that courage, and I applaud your resolve.
Actually, I have seen you posting on the forum more than I've seen you posting in hubs.
Maestro, You are who You are and that is it. Others may not agree with you or even see things your way, but that is how you were made. Yes we can all change our minds, and our lives as we are constantly fed more information, but I like you the way that you are. People who spit venom will get it back. I too have had my go arounds with VP and have learned to just disregard whatever he has to say because he doesn't know how he sounds and it is very harsh. Ha! I learned something from the very person I feel is an enemy---isn't that what it's all about---loving your enemy as yourself. Without those who come up against us there is no other way to learn about ourselves and the world and other people.
I am sorry that you felt it neccesary to delete your hubs, I never got to read any of them--only your forum posts. I hope that you continue here. I like your kind of theology and your kind heart. You have a light that shines onto others like you wouldn't believe and we are to shine the light into the darkness. Everyone has a spark of light--even VP.
It's called LIFE.
BD - thank you for the encouragement and support. It's nice to hear that from you. There's always a reward when we let go of our need to be right. It's hard to do, and I certainly don't do it all the time, but when I do - when anybody does - there is a great reward afterwards.
ASU - not sure who that comment was directed to, or what it is in response to. Care to explain?
LG - The thing is, what VP does on here most the time is dead wrong. Yes, the option exists to just ignore him - and that's what you and most others do. It seems most hubbers don't feel like anything should be done about VP, and that's perfectly fine. But I DO feel like something should be done, and that's precisely the reason why I am the one doing it. I feel the need, I am able to fill it, and so I am filling it. To put it into Christian or spiritual terms - there is a spirit inside of me driving me to confront VP. I am an instrument of that spirit. I would even go as far as to call that spirit The Holy Spirit, however there are many who would debate me on that. I love VP the same as I do every flesh and bood human being.
Maestro, Believe it or not so do I---oh so do I...agree with you!
You said that you thought the reason I posted on here is because of what you are doing on VPs hub. So, I tried to explain that I have seen you post much more on the forums than on any hubs. And a whole lot of what you talk about in there is religion. And this is after the date on this hub. So, that's why I asked the question.
ASU - ok I see. Thanks.
I guess I can't keep myself away from the topic of religion, even though I would like to just write fiction or something of no consequence. So, yes - even after this hub, I ave engaged in many discussions on religious topics. But to adhere to my vow in this hub, I have not DEBATED any religious, doctrinal, or biblical material. I've only discussed. Whenever I've encountered a contrary biblical interpretation, or religious doctrine, or spiritual belief, I have just let it be what it is. The situation with VP is the same as it would be if I encountered anyone else that behaves like he does. His behaviors are wrong outside the realms of religion.
t.keeley says:
15 months ago
I enjoyed your other hubs and honestly was never offended. I do think picking fights on purpose is wrong, but I'm not one to talk at times. I am notorious for...well, writing hubs that spark controversy. I usually do so for the purpose to call out those who are wrong and re admit the balance of justice and fairness. I am after all a libra.
Best luck in the future. If you like music, I have a folk magazine on here with many bands dealing with socially and philosophically aware issues.