I was recently married in September. When all the gifts had been opened and the honeymoon was over, I thought that I'd ponder the questions that most newlyweds ponder: when should we have kids, where should we settle down, why can't you remember to put your dirty clothes in the hamper? My husband and I ponder these and other questions on a regular basis. However, the most difficult question that I've had to ponder so far is whether or not to change my last name.

Never did I think that this question would be the most controversial for those that surround my husband and I. Judging from the reactions of most, you'd think we announced that are swingers. In fact, some would probably have less of a problem if we announced we are swingers. (We are not swingers.)

My husband has absolutely no problem with me keeping my maiden name. It seems that everyone else around me has the problem with it. There are those who tell me straight to my face that they don't understand it, and there are those more polite who just raise their eyebrows and say, "oh." There are those who have even questioned my loyalty to my husband.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know why I don't feel inclined to take my husband's last name. I thought maybe it had something to do with empowering women but I wouldn't really say I'm a feminist. I do believe in equality for women in the sense that I'd like to be paid as much as a man, but I'm also offended when a man doesn't open the door for me. I don't know if that falls under true equality.

Not only is it a confusing process and extremely time consuming to change your last name, I just feel that the reasons why women changed their names in the past do not apply anymore. It used to be an act of status and wealth. The man was the breadwinner. Women had to change their name to be associated with that status and wealth. Now, the changing of your last name is simply traditional and tradition isn't enough of a reason for me to change my last name.

This is a time of great change and of things that many generations thought they would never witness. The world can't help but take notice at the fact that we have an African American president, and we pat ourselves on the back to electing him and embracing such change. But just think of the reaction some would have if Michelle Obama had never changed her maiden name. In this time of priding ourselves for being open to such great change, I wish that everyone would be as open to small change as well - like a newlywed taking the time to decide whether or not to change her last name.