Let me set the scene, it's August 1973. I've been a bride for almost three weeks. My first dinner party for my new in-laws. And let me tell you they didn't come in small batches. No they came in a package of twenty two and that's just the immediate 'fam-dam-aly'. I didn't even own twenty two plates let alone matching ones or table and chairs to accommodate the whole fricken inner circle of his family.

Ring...Ring..."Hello?"..."Mom you wouldn't believe what Wayne did he invited his parents-grandparents-uncle and aunt-brothers and sisters with their partners...what am I going to do?.......Can I borrow....?"

I whined, tantrum-ed and pouted and tried to figure out what mortal infectious disease I could suddenly come down with. Nothing worked, the whole clan was coming. They were coming next week Saturday, arriving at 5:30 for pre-dinner cocktails.

(My marriage had started off on very shake grounds. My mother-in law Solange had wanted her favorite son to marry a French-Canadian girl like she was. Her best friends daughter Rochelle was the obvious and perfect choice. Can you tell there was no love lost between the enemy and myself?)

While seriously contemplating what dishes I could make that would hide the taste of Ex-lax I finally started to plan my dinner.

"THE" call came Friday morning (the day before they were all to descend on us) from Wayne's Ma-mere. She told me that Pa-pere had been stationed at the border of Hungary during WW1 and there he had Chicken Paprikas with Nokedly. He had liked it so that's what I had to serve for the whole gang.

Never let it be said that I didn't pick up the gauntlet when it was thrown at my feet. Nope I was going to show them, no French Canadians were no match for me, a full blooded, fiery tempered Hungarian.

Grandmas Chicken Paprikas recipe has no equals...there was none better so the menu planning was done. Easy enough I could cook that recipe, no problemo.

I had gotten permission from our landlady to use the pool and the pool house/rec room to hold the dinner party. (Gertrude really liked me and went out of her way to be helpful. She was also friends with my aunt and uncle.) The room was all tongue and grooved cedar, and very tastefully decorated in dark browns. There were enough tables and chairs (nice ones, all matching too; Ha they thought I wouldn't be able to pull it off, I'll show them).

Wayne and I had our biggest fight yet. He accused me of not wanting to be nice to his gang by refusing to use the beautiful hand embroidered matching tablecloths my godmother had sent us as a wedding present. He kept shouting that I didn't think his family was good enough for my hoity-toity-ness. (He just didn't want to understand that any accidental spilage of the paprika sauce would ruin the beautiful cloths.) I finally got him calmed down when I told him that I was almost finished making special cloths just for the occassion.

I had compiled the grocery list and Wayne promised to pick them up on his way home form work. Which would leave me to finish all those last minute things before tomorrow. (like find out where some hemlock grew)

Wayne was late comig home. Most likely the store was busy...figures when I needed his help too...

Gertrude had brought me a big basket full of creamy yellow roses and tons of green stuff from her garden for the centerpieces. ( She was such a gem.)

The room looked fantastic. Mom had lent me Grandmas beautiful big set of china. All pure white and so thin they almost looked see through. I had spent an hour in the afternoon polishing my aunts silverwear. The rose centerpieces gave the tables the finishing touches. I didn't think there could be anything to make it more beautiful until my Mom and my two aunts came over with candelabras and creamy tapers. It was all going to be perfect. The aunts gave me a big list of extra cooking advice before leaving. I don't think I could have been more nervous if Queen Elizabeth were coming for dinner.

Finally Wayne came home...He shouted for me to come and see what he had for me. I would be so surprised.

As of then I had become the proud owner of a new puppy and 12 chickens. Live chickens...how much fresher can you get. The reason he was home late was that he had stopped in at the Grisholms farm to buy the Springer Spaniel puppy as a gift for me. And because the whole gang there wanted haircuts, which he traded for the chickens.

Okay! I fell in love with the pup within 2 seconds. She was the prettiest pup in the whole wide world. A 61/2 week old white and black fur-ball with big enormous droopy eyes and long floppy ears that she stepped on whenever she was trying to get somewhere in a hurry.

Then the realization hit me LIVE CHICKENS? "What the heck? Live chickens?" I asked. Wayne's reply was "...you wanted fresh chicken for the dinner-party. Mrs Grisholm said that 12 chickens would be more then enough to feed everyone, but if I thought I needed a couple more, she still had a few and we could take it out of next months haircuts."

"You bloody idiot, who the hell is going to kill and clean those suckers? That won't be me" I shouted. "You get your behind right back into town to the grocery store and buy me some chicken that doesn't squawk anymore...." Wayne looked at me as if I had suddenly grown antlers. "I can't buy any chicken because I spent all the money on your surprise" he said. "...and further more, you haven't even said thank you for the pup."

"Unbelievable, totally unbelievable, you are a total imbecile. I can't make dinner with live chickens. You get your ass on that phone and call your family and cancel the whole thing." (I could see a glimmer of hope in this whole mess) "No-way am I cancelling, that's really what you want right?" He bellowed at me. And slammed the door behind him with an enormous bang, jumped into the car and squealed rock-spluttering down the long drive-way.

We were renting the guest house from Gertrude which was at the back of her property. She came chasing down all worried that something bad had happened to me. She found me in the kitchen crying not knowing what to do next. When she finally got the story out of me she fell apart and cried too, but only because she was laughing so hard. I mean I was an 18 year old city girl. What did I know about live chickens? Nothing! When Gertrude was finished, she wiped her eyes in her apron and still giggling said not to worry she would show me what to do. She would teach me how to dress chicken...Dress chicken? I didn't want to dress the chicken so they could come to dinner, I wanted them TO BE dinner.

I can honestly say that I had the worst couple of hours after that. It was years before I ever ate chicken again. I never forgave Wayne or his family for the the torture I had to go through. What a stinky mess...dunking in hot water... plucking...plucking...dunking...and more plucking...Thank goodness Gertrude was there because I sure as hell would have set those chickens free...free to fly south or where ever. (I would have been responsible for the first 4-5 lbs wild chickens roaming the earth...)

The Chicken Paprikas was a great success. The whole in-law clan just about licked the plates clean.....no I didn't find any hemlock and I forgot to add the Ex-lax to the shopping list. Pa-pere, Ma-mere and my father-in-law became my friends, so I guess not all was for naught...(I never was able to win over my mother-in-law).

Ingredients:

• 3 3-4lbs frying chickens, disjointed and skin removed
• 6 large onions, finely chopped
• 1/2 cup olive oil (substituded for lard)
• 1/4 cup Hungarian paprika (if not available Spanish paprika)
• 1 cup stewed tomatos or 4 tablespoon tomatoe paste
• 2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
• 1/2-1 chili pepper (optional depending if you like it spicy)
• 2 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
• 2-3 cups light sour cream
• 3/4 - 1 cup dry white wine (for the pot and a xlarge glass for the cook)

Methodology:

• Saute onions in olive oil till light brown, remove from heat
• stir in minced garlic & paprika
• add 2 cups of water, return to heat
• add remaining spices and tomato paste, stir until all is well blended, add wine
• add chicken and enough water to just about cover the meat
• cook on low heat for about an hour or until tender stirring occasionally - at this time the water should have reduced. Remove from heat. To thickened sauce add 1/2 of the sour cream and gently stir until well diluted. Return to heat for one minute only. Turn off heat - cover and let sit for 5 - 10 minutes

Serve with a dollop of sour cream over a bed of soft cooked noodles, rice or over 'Nokedly' a Hungarian style of home made noodles ( recipe will follow) and a cucumber dill salad.

How to make Nokedly:

Fill a large stock pot or pasta pot with water add salt and a couple of splushes of oil. Cover and set to boil. Meanwhile in a large bowl whisk 6 large eggs, a pinch of salt and garlic powder until frothy (a minute or two) combine with enough flour to make a kind of stiff batter.

Wet a cutting board, plop some of the batter/dough onto it. Lean the edge of the board onto the side of the pot with the now boiling water. With a straight-edged knife cut a 3/8 -1/2" strip - then cut the strip into 3/8 -1/2" chunks and scrape into the boiling water. Depending how fast you can cut-cut-scrape do maybe a third or half of the batter at a time. Let noodles boil about 3 minutes. Remove 'Nokedly' with slotted spoon. Sprinkle with a bit of oil so they don't stick together. Continue until all batter is cooked. Yum...these are really delicious.

Cucumber Salad:

Peel and thinly slice an English cucumber. Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of salt. Let sit for 1/2 hour, drain off all juice and rinse through a strainer for one minute in very cold water. Prepare vinaigrette by combining 1/2 cup of vinegar, 1 cup of water, 2 tablespoon of olive oil, 1/2 minced clove of garlic or 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder, 1 teaspoon of sugar or a packet of Splenda, pinch of dried dill, salt, pepper to taste. Pour over cucumbers and let sit in fridge for an hour or more. (If there is any left over just pour into a jar with tight fitting lid. This salad will last in fridge for at least a week if covered in the vinaigrette)

Enjoy...