Child Abuse...Being Falsly Acussed

If you think it cant happen to you then you better stop and think again. I never thought it could happen to me. I thought I was a great mom and there was no judge in their right mind that were ever think or decide different. Was I wrong. I thought that all the things that were done to me and my kids by my ex husband would have given a judge a good reason to not take my kids away from me.

I was with my ex husband for 10 years and in the beginning things were ok between us for the first year. After the first year it all went down hill. The abuse on me started right after our first son was born. He was about 2 months old when it started on me. I let it go for years because that's what I thought was right and how my life was suppose to be. It was really all I knew after so long. Its like when you are told you are stupid for so long that after awhile you start believing.

The things that went on in the first part of our marriage was a real hush hush thing. I didn't dare tell anyone about what was going on or my ass would be beat even worse. After awhile I got to the point that I had to tell someone. I had to vent and see if it was normal or if maybe something was wrong with me and I was sick. I thought maybe I was the one that made all this abuse happen.

I was brave enough to tell my best friend Christy and she was pissed at the fact it had been going on. She had her suspicions and I always made excuses about the black eyes and bruises. She started to think up a plan to get me out. It never worked because every-time I left I was so scared that he ended up finding me and bringing me back. We lived in a little small town and actually we were about 17 miles from town down a dirt road.

After about ten years and 2 kids later I got the guts to try to finish the mess he had created. I had been working and saved up money and was going to leave. I had come home early on my son's 7th birthday so I could surprise him and make him a cake. I heard crying and my daughter saying daddy please don't coming from the back of the house. I made my way back there very quietly and found my ex holding my son down on the bed by his neck choking him. My son was turning blue. I grabbed the first thing I could and hit him in the back of the head to get him off my son. My ex turned to me and started beating me and I yelled for my son to take his sister next door to my ex's mother's house.

After he got through beating me he left. I went next door to get my kids and packed whatever I could fit in my truck and left. His mom was not concerned about what had happened to me or really what had happened to my son. She just said I shouldn't have pissed him off. I told her how did I piss him off when I was at work and came home to this. We went to stay with my friend till I could figure out what to do.

I ended up moving back to the same town about 10 miles away from his mom's. My son was in school and didn't want to disrupt him anymore then he had been already. My ex had moved down to another town 2 hours away to live closer to his work and was never around. That went on for a year. He would call and threaten me and stuff but never showed up and then after awhile things settled down and he left me alone. I had finally let my kids stay the weekend with his mom because my ex was not living there and that was their grandmother. They love her and didn't want to punish them for something that wasn't their fault. my kids buses went by her house so she put them on the buses on Monday and that afternoon I went to get my kids things and I pulled up and went to get out of the truck and out of no where my ex was there. He pulled me out of the truck and took my keys and began to beat me right there in his mom and dad's yard. They never once tried to stop it. It was probably the worst beating I had ever gotten with the exception of the gun in my chest and he pulled the trigger and hit me with it.

I tried to reach the phone in their house and he threw me down the stairs. Kicked me and everything then threw me up the stairs and back in the house. Finally his mom told him that was enough and he left and took my truck. I was stranded there at their house and was degraded and told it was my fault for pissing him off again. After 3 hours his mom took me home. His sister in law came by and saw me. I had blood running down my face and my face was swollen from where he had kicked my in the face. Lani took me to get my kids from school and then to my doctor's office where I had to be checked out and everything was documented and then I had to go to the police station for them to take pics and to make the report. After that I had to go to the prosecuting attorney. They issued a warrant out for him and arrested him that night.

I went home and Lani moved me and my stuff to the town where my parents lived and I started the kids in school there. After about 2 weeks Lani came up and asked to take the kids to the county fair and have them spend the night. I saw no reason why they couldn't because my ex was still in jail and was being sent to another county for violating a no contact order on the gun issues. Besides she had helped me get help and moved me.

The next day my kids were suppose to be home at 3pm and Lani never showed up. I tried to call her sister to see what was up and got no answers. I tried to get my middle sister and my parents to take me to Lani's house to get my kids and they wouldn't. I found out later they were in on it all. Christy was living out of state at that time so I couldn't get her to take me. I didn't have a truck because my ex had taken it that day and his family was hiding it saying it was marital property and was not going to give it to me. I called the local police and they told me to wait till the morning to see if she brought them back before a report was made since there was no reason to believe she would take off with my kids.

The next morning after having no sleep and stating up all night I called the police and the were coming out to make a report. When they got there instead of making a report I was served with neglect papers. Lani had went and files false allegations against me at dhs. the allegations was i never fed my kids, when she picked them up she had to kick her way through the door because I was passed out on the couch drunk and there was beer cans everywhere, that I never have my kids their meds and that I was unfit.

I was totally floored on that. I called my grandparents and they were the ones that stood behind me on all of this. I had to go to court after court after court. I had to have an alcoholic assessment, counseling and only got to see my kids once a week at a dhs office. The judge keep making excuses to give my kids back even after all the allegations were proven false. This went on for 2 and a half years. They made excuses because I got married, that I was working, you name it. After 2 and a half years the judge gave perm custody to my ex mother in law where I was supposed to have visitation. 3 days after the judges decision my grandmother passed away. The last time I saw my kids was at her funeral until about a month ago.

My ex mother in law called out of the blue to tell me I could see my kids after 2 years of not seeing them. I spent 3 hours with them at my grandpa's house with my ex mother in law there. She had told my grandpa we could come see them this week and has now told my grandpa if it was just him coming up she would let him take them but since I would be coming she didn't think so. Basically after letting my kids see me and letting them believe they would see me again she has taken that from them and I know they most be hurt. We have also found out that my kids are living with my ex husband and his new wife. He was never suppose to have them again unsupervised.

It takes money to file for my rights being violated and we just don't have the money. Had I been smarter and left him before it got that bad I might still have my babies with me. My son is now 12 and my daughter is 8. So if you think it can't happen to you think again. If you are in an abusive relationship get out now before it's too late and do your best to cut all ties to people you believe might betray you even if it's your own family. Protecting your kids is the most important thing.

I wrote this about 3 years ago. In June of 2006 I was able to see my kids for visitation. In October of 2006 I was able to get full custody of my kids and bring them home. My son is now 15 and my daughter is 11. It was a long, hard, miserable battle, but thanks to God, it is over.