My son's father is very financially set and he has less bills than I do. His Dad (my ex's) pays for his brand new truck and the auto insurance. His only expenses are utility bills, including electric, phone, and cable, and a house payment of $240.00. Now, I'm not saying that he doesn't need to be able to take care of our son when he has him, because he definitely does. However, I make $4.00 less an hour than he does, I have more household bills, and I struggle to buy groceries sometimes when my son is with me. My ex husband does not believe he should have to pay for child support because he has our son half the time...and for the most part, I agree to this.

But recently, I've had financial troubles and am finding myself having to move to a new place, purchase another car (mine is on it's last legs), and pay off some back utility bills from when I was called off of work for low census (I work at a hospital as a discharge planner where the number of patients admitted affects my hours worked). My ex husband is only willing to give me $200.00 a month. I've talked to many of my friends and co-workers who do not believe this is very much based on the easy lifestyle my ex has. So...I've decided to file for child support. I actually feel very guilty doing this because I do feel that my ex is an incredible dad to our son and he does need to provide for him while he has him. But, I also know that he has enough money to buy extravagant gifts for our son on a weekly basis (including video games and movies) and is always purchasing new workout equipment. I've had to go without milk because I didn't have enough money.

However, this is not to make my story sound sad. I merely hope to offer some advice for any single parent who is finding themselves in financial trouble, be it mother or father, and has been considering filing for child support. Caring for your child while he is in your care is the most important thing and getting the money you need to do so is your right. Here are the general steps to take to file for child support and get the help you need....

#1 Locate the address and phone number to your local courthouse. You may already have this information or you can look under your county phone book.  The Internet will also have this contact information if you search under any search engine for your state and county courthouse name.

#2 Contact your county's courthouse, by calling the number you found, and ask for the Prothonotary office, or Domestic Relations. Once you have someone on the line, tell them you are interested in information regarding child support and request an application. You will be required to give your full name and address.  You may even want to pick up an application in person at the courthouse to get it sooner.

#3 The child support application will take about 3 days to a week to come, if you choose to have it mailed to your address. Fill out the child support application and mail it back to the Domestic Relations address provided in the papers. If there are more domestic issues than just child support that you and your ex need to resolve, you may want to get a lawyer. Otherwise, the child support papers are pretty self explanatory. There will likely be a filing fee (in Pennsylvania it is $85.50).  Each state's filing fee differs. 

#4 Once you have submitted the child support papers, a domestic relations hearing will be set for both you and your ex. The time and date will be provided along with any domestic relations papers that you will need to bring to the hearing. Be sure to check and see if any of these papers need you to fill in information regarding you and/or your household.  Your ex will receive the same papers. If you have any questions, contact the courthouse using the phone number provided.

#5 Go to your child support hearing and openly discuss your case. Make sure you take all copies of your monthly bills (utilities, rent, car...,etc.) and monthly income pay stubs to the hearing as you will be asked to provide this information. You will also be asked how much you pay in child care expenses, medical bills for your child, if your child has health insurance, and which parent provides the health insurance. You will also be eligible for an arrears payment from your ex if you choose to take it. An arrears payment is back child support from the time of separation until the date you file.

#6 Once the issue of child support finalized between you and your ex, you will begin to receive child support payments in 4-6 weeks. You will likely receive your child support payment on a pre-paid MasterCard (debit card) called an EPPICard, with your state's name printed on it.  You you can also choose to have your payments direct deposited into a checking or savings account. Payments will come on a weekly basis no matter how your ex gets paid. Be sure to let the courthouse know of any changes in income or address to keep current on your case.