Nightmares VS Night Terrors

Although they're also experienced by adults, nightmares are more common in kids. Your child may start having bad dreams from two years of age and these can typically recur through their childhood, often reaching a peak between ages four and six.

There's no fixed time or frequency - nightmares can take place late at night or early in the morning, and research indicates that up to 25 percent of kids have at least one episode a week. Essentially, a nightmare is a bad dream that awakens your child.

When a child has a terrifying dream, he or she experiences a natural physiological response to fear. The body releases adrenalin into the bloodstream, the heart races, and the child may experience the feeling of being frozen, unable to move or shout for help.

Reactions may differ; when preschoolers have a nightmare, they might wake up screaming, cry or run into their parents' bedroom, while older kids who understand what's happening are more likely to go back to sleep without waking their parents.

Vastly different is the phenomenon of "night terrors", an inherited disorder in which a child has bad dreams during deep sleep from which it is difficult to awaken. Night terrors occur in two percent of kids from 1 to 8 years old, usually beginning an hour or two after a child goes to sleep and lasting for up to half an hour.

Nightmares are a common occurrence for kids all ages. If you've ever had to stay up through those "fright nights" with your child, you'll know they can be really distressing times - for both of you.

We will show you how 'to go through these trying times.

Unlike what happens in nightmares, a child does not fully wake up when experiencing night terrors. Their eyes may be open but they don't realise you are there. They are agitated and restless but cannot be spoken to or comforted. Worse still, night terrors may involve sleepwalking, yelling wildly or kicking and can be quite frightening to watch. Despite the dramatic symptoms, however, they are harmless and each episode ends by itself in deep sleep, and your child will probably not remember any of it in the morning. In most cases, the problem usually disappears by age 12 or sooner.

The Stuff of Dreams

Some of you might be asking, so what causes the bad dreams in the first place? Why does your child keep having those particular nightmares? Well, to answer this we need to understand the nature of dreams. All of us, kids included, dream around four or five times each night, although on waking, we may not realise that we dreamed at all, let alone recall the details of our dream.

In children, dreams, even nightmares, are the result of their brain processing information throughout the day. Their dreams help them work out the stress of their daily experiences. In other words, dreams help your child's mind to process any complicated events or information encountered each day.

As such, the content of nightmares usually relates to developmental challenges a child might face. For example, a toddler might have nightmares about separation from his or her parents, a pre-schooler might have nightmares about monsters or the dark while a school-age child might have nightmares about death or real dangers. Clearly, the difference between a dream and a nightmare has a lot to do with the fear of the dreamer.

Stress can also be a leading cause of your child's frequent bad dreams, and may even cause other sleep disorders. Illness, especially when your child has a fever, is another trigger, as well as a traumatic event such as divorce or a death in the family. Kids with a vivid imagination can be especially prone to nightmares since imaginations still keep working after they're asleep. Violent or scary TV shows can store up a host of horrors in a child's mind, which may combine with fears, such as fear of the dark, to later manifest as nightmares.

For kids who suffer from night terrors, it is vital that they are not allowed to become overtired, since sleep deprivation is a known trigger. No doubt, identifying what sets off your child's nightmares is an important first step to minimising their occurrence.

Taking Back Control

Let's say your child is having a nightmare. What do you do? Dream experts advise that you should never wake a child in the middle of a bad dream. Instead, simply sit by your child's side through the episode till it appears to have passed and he or she seems less agitated. In the morning, ask if they remember any dreams. If they do, help them take control of their dream story using the following technique developed by the experts.

First, get your child to talk about his or her dream in as much detail as possible. Reassure them that everyone has scary dreams sometimes and talk through the dream with them, probing any possible areas of fear. You can even try to get them to draw or paint the scenes of the dream.

The next step is to help your child imagine a good ending to the bad dream as you talk it through together. Again, you may want to help your child draw pictures or write stories about the new and improved dream ending, till he or she has a clear mental image of the happy outcome. You can even encourage your child to imagine a stronger person helping him overcome the bad person or event in the dream.

At bedtime, remind your child about the good ending and encourage him or her to use this to change a bad dream while it's happening. It may sound incredible but those who have tried this technique say that it really works! Furthermore, this technique communicates to your child the important truths that fears must be faced rather than avoided and that the will to change comes from within themselves.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These

Other things you can do to help defuse childhood nightmares and ease your child's fears include:

• Install a night light in your child's bedroom if they're afraid of the dark. Use safe, low wattage lights that cast a warm, reassuring

glow.

• If your child wakes up frightened, be sure to go straight to them the minute you hear them yell. Don't wait for them to start crying, as this will only make them more frightened and upset.
• Spend time calming your child with soothing words and reassuring them with your presence. In the long run, your child will learn to settle more easily when you are near.
• If they are extremely upset or frantic, try different methods to calm them down, such as playing a favourite tune or reading a favourite story.
• Protect your child from violent or horrifying shows during the day. Even the late night news with visuals of disasters can be a source of fear at night!
• A mug of warm milk does wonders to promote restful sleep. Avoid giving your kids night-time beverages containing caffeine.
• Teach your child short prayers that he or she can repeat when they become afraid and assure them that God and His angels are watching over them.

Becoming aware that your child's nightmares can be an indicator of his or her deeper fears determines your role as a parent. Clearly, your patient and loving response sets the direction for how well your child is able to face and overcome his or her fears, and ultimately, how soon he or she will get to enjoy restful nights of pleasant dreams again.