My childhood in Nuremberg, during the war, was anything but calm and quiet. I must have been born under the blackest star there was, to be given a birthplace at the beginning of the bombing and on top of it in Nuremberg. Yet I always was pointed at, that I was German all my life. Let's face it, I wasn't asked where I wanted to born. I assure you that I would have objected. Everybody wants a quiet life and not to be pointed at. Oh well, let's carry on.

When I was small I took it in my stride. The dressing up in thick cloths when you go to bed, the siren and going down to the cellar the moment it went dark. We lived on the second floor of a four storey building just on the edge of Nuremberg. On the way down I told everybody that we have to go down because of the alarm.

On the other hand I got to say that in spite of all these going on, if I think back, we had a great childhood. We celebrated Christmas far more sincere. My parents managed to get us a toy each and we were happy about that toy for ages. I don't know how they did it. We had lots of snow and therefore great fun. Again they managed to get us a sledge.

I was from birth a very phlegmatic child so nothing bothered me. My brother, 5 years older, was right the opposite, very nervous. He also understood the danger, yet too young to cope with it. He was always whimpering when the bombers were approaching . I still remember when people said, " they bombed already somewhere else, we don't need to worry about them" because you could hear the difference in the sound of the engines. The sound of the engines were much deeper when they still had a load of bombs on board. I know now, when you look back it sounded heartless, and it is, but people were so used to and in some way people accept, after awhile, what happens around them.

As I said I was too small and took it in my stride and afterwards put it behind me. Nobody spoke about it anymore and we just got on with our life, slowly but surely getting it together again.

I never realized how deep rooted it was until one day, many years later, when I was watching the news and I don't remember where it was, but they showed the approaching bombers and I heard that deep sound of the engine, I had to switch the TV off. I was so surprised about myself.

One night a bomb went down opposite the house where we lived in and the air pressure from the explosion blew out the windows and moved the dividing wall between our sitting room and bedroom as it was 10 centimeters further, like a giant hand moved it. When I think back it was amazing.

It must have been worse for my mother sitting there with her two children. The anxiety she must have gone through. How can you protect them? One thing you couldn't get me to do, was to put a gas mask on, as quiet and phlegmatic as I was, there was the end of it and I threw a screaming fit until they took it off me.

When the American Army came in, everybody was relieved. I know people think the Germans would have been sad being defeated. As young as I was I could feel the relieve that it was over. Before that you could feel the pressure. Everybody was afraid of everybody. If somebody didn't like you, like in any dictatorship. they could report you and you were gone. It wasn't just Jewish people although they got the worst but also any other religion was forbidden and for you to worship. Apparently my parents had a hard time to christen me. My father came from a very staunch Catholic family and poor man wouldn't dare not christen me. Than there were the Nazi and he wouldn't dare christen me in case somebody reported him. He must have sweated blood. I don't know how they done it but I was christened.

Then you were not suppose to put up a Christmas tree because 'old potato head' made the state a religion. We did have a Christmas tree every year but if somebody reported it, you had it. People don't realize what all went on, quietly. When the war became worse, the people supposed not to drink coffee or wine etc. to support the war effort. My mother was like me, without coffee she couldn't function.

Then one day, somehow they managed to get hold of a bottle of wine for New Years. My mother told my father that my brother was asleep and to go out on the balcony to pop the cork. The reason for that was, if anybody heard they wouldn't be able to make out which flat. They didn't reckon with my brother being in the toilet which was next to the balcony. There comes a cry out of the toilet, "I will tell everybody tomorrow that you are drinking wine." I am sure they nearly suffocated and threatened him. Nothing came of it but if somebody would have reported it, you had it. Even your children could report you and they would take it seriously. This story my mother told me.

Towards the end or at the end of the war, my mother told my brother to come down to the cellar with her to fetch some potatoes. The reason was that, soldiers coming back from the front or undesirables were hiding sometimes down there. When she put the potatoes in the bucket she noticed my brother climbing onto the coals at the back of the cellar. She asked him why? He said, "if somebody came in they would attack my mother first and he could run away." My mother told him that this is not why she brought him down with her; it was to protect her and to be in front of her. He was always heroic - one loud bang and he run breaking all world records.

When the American army came in they opened all the prisons and didn't realize that half of them were not political prisoners but criminals. They, of course, were in their glory and claimed to be political prisoners.. They sat in all the government post and treated everybody like dirt and calling everybody Nazi.  We had a flat with a sitting room where there was an stove, a big bedroom with no stove and smaller bedroom with an stove.  Nuremberg being completely flattened had a great shortage of accommodations. So, they put a family to live in our sitting room and a couple to live in our small bedroom. We lived in the big bedroom with no heating. If you complained you were not only abused from tip to toe but also run the risk to be thrown out of your place.

The situation at that time was that people were so used to death by then because of the bombing raids every night and bringing dead people out in the morning. Again it was a way of life. If you had to live on the street not many people would have bothered. Everybody clang so hard onto whatever they still got. In those days we had very hard winter. There we were living in an unheated room. The kitchen was very narrow and these people who lived in those two rooms demanded to be able to cook. Luckily the couple which lived in the small bedroom let us stay there during the day when they were at work and we heated the oven there and they had a warm room to come to.

Now one official in the accommodation department was bent over backward to get us out of the flat all together and put one of his friends in. My mother was worried sick with two small children on her hand where would she go if they succeed. My father was in the camp awaiting his hearing whether he was one of the top Nazis or just run along. They put pressure on my mother like hell. Fortunately, she had a friend who could read cards and was very good at it. When my mother was driven to the edge and she went to see her, she always told her that they will make her life an absolute misery but they will not get her out. That used to help her. They didn't get us out.