Children today are more knowledgeable about adult topics than any other generation in history. Like it or not, it’s the reality of growing up in the fast moving society we now live in. When it comes to the subject of children and cosmetic surgery, even today’s second grader could probably give you a few tips. They watch the reality shows about making over this, and making over that. They can tell you anything you want to know about Pimp My Ride, Extreme Makeover, and The Biggest Loser. Whether it’s about a car, a home or a person, it’s all about changing the outward appearance. Good, bad or ugly, today’s children already understand and can relate to change. So why would some parents have a problem with the ideal of explaining your new face to school age children

The controversy surrounds a surgeon’s book for kids, about cosmetic surgery? My Beautiful Mommy discusses plastic surgery procedures in a way so that children can comprehend what’s going on when mom has a procedure. But some think the good doctor may have gone too far. Just how much medical information is too much, when children are involved?

We live in a world with CSI, NCIS, Forensic Files, Bones, and all the other criminal science television shows that children get access to. Whether we admit it or not, our children (even the younger ones) are catching glimpses and sometimes even watching a lot of these shows. Some kids are drawn to the graphic surgical procedures that are highly informative (no doubt these our the future doctors and forensic scientists of tomorrow). Even if they’re just doing a channel check and notice something on television, in passing, children retain that information. It’s usually stored in their brain for later processing. Chances are, they’re already aware of the phrase “plastic surgery” and decidedly have their own ideal about what it means (and their ideal is probably way more scarier than the actual facts.)

Kids In The Information Age

They hear news reports, they over hear adults talking, they read online and they discuss things among their peers. The fact is, this generation of kid lives in an information age. They’re constantly getting information (even information you may not want them to have). Now, thanks to Twitter and other social networks, they can even get it up to the minute!

Some readers may be thinking: “teenagers are one thing, be we’re talking about younger kids.” The truth of the matter is, surveys show that when it comes to young people and social networking, they’re getting caught up in the loop much earlier now. They get their share of information overload also. So In the case of a parent’s pending cosmetic surgery, if the parents don’t talk to the children, more than likely, someone else will!

Just like sex, drugs, violence, and anything else that comes into question in your child's life, sometimes the hard subjects just have to be addressed. Obviously, you have your own agenda and time frame on when to dispense information. You want to do things from a “different ages, different stages” perspective, but sometimes life happens and you get thrown off your well-planned timetable for talking to your kids. Not only that, but some children are more intuitive, if not more intelligent, than the average child, so they don’t process information the same.

EXAMPLE:

Two seven-year olds comes home from school one day and wants to discuss where babies come from. A classmate had a turtle that just had babies.

One child is content with a simple answer that pertains strictly to baby turtles. She accepts the cookie bribe you give her as a distraction from the conversation and skips away happily. You kiss that child good night at bedtime and never hear another word about it.

Another child not only refuses to accept the answer in turtle form, but continues to press you for more and more answers. When the cookie bribe finally works on her, she walks away slowly, still pondering the subject. You can practically see the wheels in this kid’s head still churning. Unknown to you, she not only discusses the subject with her dolls later, but when you say good night for bed, she brings the subject up again. Knowing your child, you realize if you don’t properly address this issue right now, it will be the main attraction at breakfast and for the rest of the week.

Those who made unfavorable reviews about the book wanted to know why address the subject of plastic surgery at all? Why should a child have to be privy to that type of adult themed information. They could not even begin to fathom teaching children about plastic surgery. But could this really be about something else? After all, cosmetic surgery is still a medical procedure. Parents have a host of other medical procedures performed every day. No one scoffs at them for feeling the need to discuss mommy’s mastectomy or daddy’s knee surgery. These are also procedures that the child will wonder about. Something must be explained in order for them to understand what’s going on. These surgeries involve doctors and hospitals as well as bandages and some kind of recuperation period. The child is not blind or stupid. They have to be told something.

The same is true of cosmetic surgery, whether the surgery involves a tummy tuck (abdominoplasty), a nose job (rhinoplasty), a face lift (Rhytidectomy), or a complete overall!

Speaking about the recuperation process that is needed following the type of surgeries discussed in his book, Dr. Michael Salzhauer said: "When mom goes down everyone in the house is effected — especially the kids," Then of course, there is the realization that mommy is sick. Even a two-year- old can tune in to that fact. Salzhauer goes on to say: "They know something is going on and she has bandages, so they start to ask, 'What's wrong with mommy?'"

Nowadays, it’s also more common to see men undergoing cosmetic surgical procedures. Children are just as concerned as to why daddy can’t pick them up and toss them around for awhile.

Dr. Darrick Antell, another plastic surgeon, said he had considered writing something similar long before he heard about Dr. Salzhauer's.book. Antell had this to say about his New York based practice: "There are patients who frequently will ask what they should tell their kids when they're bruised for a few days." So as we can see, it stands to reason, if you don’t want to insult your child’s intelligence, you have to sit them down and tell them something.

The focus of My Beautiful Mommy is on a mother discussing her pending cosmetic surgery with her young daughter. While the abdominoplasty and the rhinoplasty are the procedures the book actually discusses, the illustrations make it apparent that mom has had her breast enlarged as well.

My Beautiful Mommy makes no qualms about the fact that Mommy is getting work done for “cosmetic” purposes. Her tummy tuck and nosejob are not misrepresented as a type of reconstructive surgery. . (The term “reconstructive surgery” is typically reserved for plastic surgery that fixes or reconstructs some part of the body, in order to correct a medical condition) Although her obvious boob-job is not addressed, the context of the book makes it clear that everything is done so mommy can feel pretty.

This is evident by this passage from the book:

BOOK PASSAGE:

"Why are you going to look different?" asks the daughter of her mother in the car ride back from the doctor's office.

"Not just different, my dear — prettier!" exclaims the mother.

It is, perhaps this line of thought that has so many parent’s knickers in a bunch. It’s not about the child being exposed to the information itself, or the shock value of the procedures, whether just illustrations or not. It seems that those who oppose the book are more concerned about the message that breast enhancements, nose-jobs, face-lifts and the like, are sending to children. Be that as it may, it still doesn’t answer the question of what a parent who is determined to have an abdominoplasty or rhinoplasty performed should say to their child about the actual surgery itself. Don't forget, they'll be seeing the results of the surgery too, and no doubt have a number of questions.

When ABC.com first interviewed Dr. Michael Salzhauer in 2008, the Florida-based plastic surgeon discussed why he wrote the book: My Beautiful Mommy,

In the interview he stated: "More than half the women that come in for procedures bring their children with them," he said. "And most parents go into denial about the surgery with regard to their children." This is because most parents didn’t know what exactly to say to their children. Like the ancient days when parents were afraid to discuss sex openly, many plastic surgery patients just clam up and treat their surgery like the pink elephant in the room that no one acknowledges. .

Apparently Salzhauer has found a way to not only talk about the elephant in the room, but to do so in an entertaining and understandable way for kids. Those who decided to comment about the book, took exception to the ideal of nose jobs and tummy tucks being a topic of discussion for children. While it sounds like Dr. Salzhauer tried to present the sensitive material in an entertaining, yet tasteful way, some parents were actually mortified at just the ideal of discussing plastic surgery with children. It didn’t seem to make a difference to them if the surgery was to straighten a nose, tuck a tummy, or lift a face, they felt the subject matter was inappropriate. And as for the breast implants. That was the biggest no no!

The following negative remark about the book is only one out of many:

“So you're going to read your kid a book that says "you made me fat and stretched out and ugly and now I'm going to get it fixed so I can feel pretty again"? What in the world is that teaching your kid? Whatever happened to "beauty is only skin deep?" Imagine what we could do for our children if instead of getting tummy tucks we started eating healthier and being more active. It would break my heart if my daughter came to me requesting plastic surgery--darn it, she's pretty enough and no one has the right to make her feel otherwise!”

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