Not too long ago my brother called me freaking out. His daughter tried to french kiss him and wanted to kiss his neck. This troubled my brother for some time and he felt he was a bad parent and he felt that he could not be around his own daughter for a while because it made him feel uncomfortable. He didn't understand.

Sometime between the age 3-5 children start to copy their parents affections. When parents express their affections towards other adults and sees this as a good thing, then the child starts to express the same thing.

Children love to imitate their parents. At this age, two things are going through a kids mind. One of them is being independent. They want to be able to do things themselves and at this age they believe they are ready to do everything if you let them. For the first couple years of their lives they have watched you open food jars, put the peanut butter on the bread, give them baths...

They see how happy it makes you and so they want to be able to do it themselves. Believe it or not, it makes the child happy to do the things that make you happy. Then also around this time, they have more frequent tantrums that come from being frustrated with themselves. Timmy wants to put the straw in the Capri Sun pouch but can't do it yet because he isn't as coordinated as he thinks he is.

So when mommy goes over to help, you might have noticed your child got pretty pissed off at you for wanting to help. Ha,ha, yes! You can bruise a child ego at this age too! So, after they have pretty much told you they don't need your help, you let them do their thing then two minutes later they are crying for you to help them.

Sounds confusing but it is not really. Even into adulthood we still have these ego traits. We want to be able to do things ourselves because it is pleasing not only to us but to those we want to impress and when we aren't able to accomplish something the first time around, we too feel we aren't good enough. But we still ask because we know that we need the help. This is a good thing.

The same things go for overly affectionate children. In my home I know that my boyfriend and I are very affectionate towards each other. We kiss, we hug and we have our time behind closed doors. I believe it is healthy for children to see mother and father being openly and decently affectionate with each other.

Now, while we don't french kiss our children or let them be in the room when we are having sex (well at least we don't) we do give our children kisses all the time, we hug them all the time, we tell them how much we love them etc.. and it will come up that you child is going to start mimicking one of the parents and feel as though they need to show the same affection towards you as the mimicked parent would also receive.

For instance, little silly Sally wants to be just like her mother. She wants to do all the chores in the house and help her mother out because she knows how happy it makes her mother and how proud her mother is of her ability to be independent.

Sally also feels that maybe mommy needs a break. We make our children take naps and we tell them that they need rest because it is good for them yet, we ourselves wont stop and a child is not stupid. So, Sally wants to be independent and do it all herself. She might even get firm in her tone with you telling you, "Mommy, I can do it. Go lay down." Sound familiar?

So while you might cringe at the thought of her making a big giant mess, you let her do it and enjoy the moment of rest...knowing of course that you are most likely going to have to clean up a bigger one when she is done. Now with her newly assumed role, she also assumes that she is supposed to french kiss her father... after all that is what mommy does.

So little silly Sally tries to french kiss her father and her father is like.."oh no!" and tells her that it is inappropriate or she can't do that, it's bound to cause some confusion. Surprisingly enough, most parents do not see how innocent the child is and what she/he is really doing.

In fact, you should feel flattered that your child wants to be just like you. So before you go crazy and think there is something wrong with your child, consider who they are getting it from and be graceful in how you decide to address the situation.

Don't yell at your child or make them feel bad about their behavior in this regard. If you did your child might believe that you love mommy or daddy more then you love them and at this age, the parents are everything to a child whether they let you know or not. It's a sticky situation, parents should chose their words wisely when it comes to this subject. After all, they do pretty much take everything literally.

So, you decided to tell your kid, in the best possible way that, "Those kinds of kisses are for adults like mommy and daddy." Next thing you know Sally and Timmy are playing doctor under the table. Don't worry, this is pretty natural too. It bound to happen no matter what you do, so be practical parents, don't freak out when you find your children doing these things.

Talk to them as decent human beings because it is around this time that you do need to start thinking about how to address the difference between sexuality and love and affection. So if you find yourself in a situation like Sally and her father and don't know how to make her understand without hurting her ego, you might try saying something like this.

Ask Sally who she is. She will say, " I am Sally." Then ask her if she is being a big girl like Mommy, and she will probably say yes. Now that you and her have established who she is and what she is doing, you can then say. Who is your Mommy, she might point or if she is like my kid, she would say, "Mommy Sandy". Then you can ask her what mommy she is and she might say I am Mommy Sally. From there you can then say something like, Okay, that kind of kissing is for Mommy Sandy and Daddy and these kinds of kisses are for Mommy Sally and Daddy.

Anyways, the point is to be clear to your child who Mommy and Daddy are and what Mommy and Daddy can do and what kids can do without the whole thing turning into a tormenting fiasco of Daddy doesn't love me like he loves mommy bit or something to that effect.

Because remember, two things are going on your kids head around this age. They want to be independent, and they want to make you happy... they want to be just like you but they also want to be exactly them. Be wise parents and think before you react. Children are about the sweetest things on the planet well... sometimes Kids are Evil... and everything you do, they will do to, at least until they reach puberty.