I consider myself an "expert" on the Chipotle Mexican Grill experience. Let me help you navigate the simple but complex world that is Chipotle.

My qualifications:

Experience: 8 years Frequency: About once a week # Different locations visited: More than 10

The entrance

When visiting most fast-casual dining restaurants, you probably expect to park your car and walk inside and promptly place your order. Chipotle, however, is famous for having a line out the door even in below-freezing weather. But don't fret, because the engineers that have designed the burrito production line have it covered. This line moves fast. Take in the metallic scenery and start considering your order.

Order etiquette

You've made it to burrito row and you're face-to-face with a friendly employee simultaneously warming two large tortillas. What do you do? The menu is so simple, but the pressure is on. You don't want to disrupt the flow, for there are dozens of hungry people behind you.

Here is your guide to a quick ordering experience, in the order they will appear in question form from the burrito line employee:

1. Decide if you want a burrito or a "bol" (burrito contents in a bowl, sans tortilla). If you want a bol, you have to indicate whether is to go up front. The same employee who warmed your tortilla will fill it with meat and beans or fajita vegetables, so decide...
2. Which meat? Which beans? Quick, tell her. You should know this by the time you get to the front. You may want a "fajita" burrito. Fine, but loyal patrons know not to ask for beans and veggies on the same burrito.
3. Salsa - Names here are interchangeable. There's tomato/mild, corn/medium, green/medium, or hot. Perfectly acceptable to ask for more than one on the same burrito. Careful with the hot stuff.
4. Sour cream/cheese/lettuce/guacamole - Order these items together. Guacamole cost extra ($1.85). (Interesting note: They'll never ask if you want lettuce. Are they trying to deter you from ordering the common crunchy treat? Just one of those Chipotle mysteries.)
5. Chips & Salsa - You're almost to the register. If you want chips and salsa or guacamole, order it now.

Now you pay and you're ready to eat, right? But wait!

There's no seats

The same brainy guys who have streamlined the burrito line have provided less seats than customers at many locations. But don't worry! They know more than you. There is a super-secret formula they use, which usually works out. Typically you'll only wait for a minute or two for a table. Dining room etiquette - Don't linger with hungry people waiting! These customers have places to go and burritos to eat.

How to eat the burrito

This is easy. Pick it up, and don't put it down until you are sure you are done. Otherwise, it may fall apart. Author's note: The employee who wraps your burrito is by far the most important employee on staff. The wrap can make or break your experience.

Other Chipotle truisms

• If this place had a drive-thru, oh, watch out!
• No one orders the margaritas
• Few order tacos
• No one uses the salt and pepper shakers disguised as tobasco bottles but
• Real afficianados pick up a bottle of tobasco sauce on the way to the table

My favorite order

Chicken burrito, pinot beans, mild & corn salsa, lettuce (w/Smoked tabasco)

What yours? Leave in the comments section below. Thanks for reading!