Christian, Do Friends Disappoint You? Where's Koinonia?

Have you been disappointed in friends? Would you rather keep to yourself? Thousands and thousands of Christians have left the church disappointed in relationships (koinonia) - and tired of being hurt...

Jesus experienced huge betrayal. As He hung on the cross, the apostles cowered on a distant hill watching in dispair - then later hid themselves in a room with a locked door. 5000 people left him in one day. Even the Father turned His face away from the Son - which the most difficult forsaking of all. There while at that place of total abandonment, the church was birthed out of His side! Jesus showed us how to live differently.

We must move from offense to Kingdom love.It isn't easy to love without expectation of return.. Luke 21:16-19 reminds us: "You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of me... by standing firm you will gain life" NIV.

We have come to expect the microwave lifestyle... and to get everything right now. We order our food in seconds, we get our tax refunds on the internet the very day we file them, and we seldom take the time to wait for anything.

Making true friends is not instantaneous. Our required action of gaining covenantal connections with one another takes lots of time. Sure... we must first obtain that vertical relationship with God, but the next requirement is to extend our horizontal relationship with one other.

1 John says that if we don't love each other, we don't even know God... That's quite a statement to ponder! Remember: the Lord only works within covenant - and He relates to us in expressions of covenant. Covenantal expressions must fill all areas of our life.

It's all about Koininea. Koininea is the Greek word that means unity, fellowship, friendship, oneness. There are many Bible verses about us gaining koininea. This kind of friendship has been my lifelong search... The assignment of maturity is now... can you hear the plea for Koinonia?

We're supposed to find and become covenant friends. Jesus said that's the way the world will know that the Father sent Him (Jn. 17). But... that's not easy these days - with all the disappointing relationships we've all had. How do we trust again? Only time can really validate our relationships with another individual. Certainly, the journey toward deeper Christian liaisons won't be traveled in a jaunt. We can't know each other after few months of weekly meetings. Yet, building covenant friendships is one of the most imperative things we can do on earth.

We can't go on the Christian journey toward koininea alone. In spite of our disappointments in others, we are still heirs together in this world. God is "Our Father." "Christ in us is the hope of glory." We are the "company of saints" and the many memembered amalgamated Bride. Together we approach knowing God in deeper ways.

For all of us, there will be future disappointments... we must all have patience. Developing real Koinonia is not like going on a diet, where we start for awhile and then stop. It takes diligent determination to build true friendships.

There's no easy way to grow friends and yet the very crux of Divinity waits for us to love one another in the new way. We're not called to grow a BIG church - we're called to grow up and become ONE!

Jesus will return looking for church that LOVES one another. He expects us to have learned faithfulness. Faithfulness is a Fruits of Spirit. Faithfulness means to be committed, trustworthiness, reliable, loyal, unfailing, constant, steadfast, sincere. Faithfulness demands keeping ones word or promises and to be loyal. Faithfulness means that you keep your promise regardless of any alterations or disappointment that might happen.

God is committed to us. Heb. 10:23 tells us, "HE WHO PROMISED IS FAITHFUL." When we gain a real friend, it means that we're getting closer to God.

Please look for my other articles about koinonia! It is a major theme of my life. Thank you for being my friend.

If you are interested in learning more about Unity, Friendship, Koininea, and equality, there are lots of books and free articles on my website at kluane.org -- there's lots more, just click on the RSS to your right!

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