By Thanksgiving week I was looking for my own office, I wanted it within a half hour drive of the house and within ten minutes of the Court House. I had seen several places, but only three really had everything I wanted. I asked Nanny Li to come with me to look at those three again, so we bundled up Josiah and piled into the Matrix. We drove to each place and Nanny Li told me what she thought. By the time we were done, I had made up my mind. It was a nice Duplex, two blocks from the Court House. I would have Unit Number two, which had two offices, a secretary nook, a storage room, a waiting room and a bathroom. I told the Realtor I would give him cash if the owner would agree to a six-month renewable Lease! He made a call and said that the owner was delighted with my terms! Once the Realtor left, it was time to celebrate. I was so happy. I had my son and my....Son's Nanny here with me, my new office and I would be opening Jonathan Thomas Attorney At Law, next week!

Nanny Li, Josiah and I stopped at a local Florist and picked up a Harvest Arrangement of flowers for Momma.. Thanksgiving Day was tomorrow and we had one more thing to be thankful for. When we returned to the house, I was delighted to tell everyone that night at dinner about my new office. Over the holidays I would be purchasing the needed furniture and office supplies. I would need to find a Legal Secretary as well. I didn't have to look far, I asked Peter if he wanted the job. I offered him 15% more than what he was making at the Court House including Health benefits and it was the same hours he was already working! He said he would be happy to take the job. Sarah was pleased with the decision as well. It made it easier for Peter's Security Guard to watch over him. Peter was their primary target! I told Peter the guard was welcome to sit in the waiting area if that was what he wanted to do. He said that he and the guard would talk it over.

After dinner I gave Josiah some baby cereal and a bottle, then I rocked him in the Rocking Chair until he was asleep. I loved holding him and spending time with him. I told Nanny Li to take some time for herself. She went to take a shower. After I lay Josiah down, I looked at the picture of Sharon holding him, that I had placed atop of his dresser, and mourned her, there in the light of the Nanny Li's reading lamp. Nothing could remove the pain of missing her from my heart.

I slipped into the shower with Nanny Li, her supple body warm from the steamy shower. She had hands that were as soft as silk and they were gentle and masterful. She took me from mourning and pain to feelings of desire and ecstasy. If only for a while. She was someone I needed, desired and could no longer keep myself from.

Thanksgiving day was meticulous. Momma made a feast that was succulent. She made Cornish Game Hens, one for each of us, surrounded by cranberry dressing that was tangy and savory with a touch of sweetness. She made a Green Bean and Bacon Casserole that was crispy yet it was also light and smooth. Her  Mashed Potatoes were creamed with real butter, tiny chives and garlic. She even took the time to make home made Cranberry Relish! Her home made Sweet Potato and Pumpkin Pie with fresh whipped cream were served as dessert. I was delighted and I gorged myself! The Harvest Floral Arrangement we bought her was the centerpiece of the table and it looked exquisite.

After dinner we all sat around the living room and drank spiced cider and made light-hearted conversation. It was nice. Something we hadn't done for a very long time. Sarah brought out a large baby quilt and some toys, for Anna and Josiah to play with while we talked. The children were untouched by the ugliness that surrounded their parents. I was very thankful for this. Nanny Li was sitting next to me and without thinking, I took hold of her hand. It seemed as if it were the most natural thing to do. We just kept talking. Sarah was the first to notice. " So is there romance brewing here you two." She said, with a pleased smile on her face. I wasn't sure what she was talking about and then she pointed to our hands that were clinging lovingly to each other. I didn't know quite how to answer that, as I didn't know what our relationship was. I could however feel the heat in my apparently red face. I didn't let go of Nanny Li's hand though, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and she hadn't let go of my hand. I simply answered,     "There just might be, Miss nosy," and laughed. Thank goodness, everyone laughed! Then the conversation went on to something else, our hands still holding on strongly!

Since our secret had been unveiled, Nanny Li and I were more at ease around each other now in front of the rest of the household. We did not flaunt, what had become common, night time trysts in their faces, but a quick kiss goodbye as I went to work in the morning was a house hold sight. She made me feel alive again!

My practice was picking up, thanks to word of mouth and a little well placed advertising! By January I had more cases than I could handle in an expeditious manner so I looked for someone to work for me. The extra office had furniture in it and it was ready, I just needed to find someone, preferably a woman. Many women want a woman to represent them in Court. I put an ad in the Newspaper looking for someone and within a few days, I had several woman's Resume's in front of me, one from Santa Fe, Two from Albuquerque, Two from Springer and one from Houston, Texas.

I looked over all of their Resumes and was exceptionally pleased with three of them. The others I put aside. I decided I would go forward with the interviews of Mrs. Alexandra J. Simmons of Santa Fe, New Mexico, Miss Shirley A. Cross of Houston, Texas and Mrs. Thalia G. Nunez of Springer, New Mexico first.  I had Peter call the Attorneys for me and set up interviews one for each of the following three days. My calendar was very full!

My first interview was with Alexandra Simmons. She had impeccable references from the time that she graduated Summa Cum Laud from Yale University with her Legal Degree. She worked with Lee and Scheif in New Haven, Connecticut for Seven years as a prosecuting Attorney and then got a better offer from Gray and Schuster in Los Angeles, a firm that represented many major business interests. She then became weary of the business community's unethical practices and switched to Family Law and had been practicing it for the past six years in Los Angeles with Cobble, Webb and Spur as a defense attorney. Her husband had been transferred to Santa Fe last year. He worked with the Railroad as a Mechanical Foreman. He was recently laid off and they were open to moving to Springer. She had been on Maternity leave when they moved and had not returned to work since her husband was making enough to support them but she needed to get back to work now that her husband had been laid off! She had a very rich work history, she knew the prosecution's techniques, which was good, she had done both work in business and family law and she had moral values. I liked that! I told her that I was committed to two more interviews so I would let her know on Thursday.  The other two women had impressive Resumes but I was not optimistic about one's attitude, and the other showed up twenty minutes late for the interview, she said she ran out of gas on the way! Not the most prepared and responsible person I could hire! I called Alexandra Simmons and let her know that she was hired, Wednesday night. Why leave her and her husband to worry another day? I told her that she could start on the First of February, that way she could have time to get her family moved to Springer! She was grateful for my provisions and said she would see me soon!

I felt good at the end of the day, my practice was growing, my son was such a blessing and everyone at the Villa had been so supportive since Sharon's death. My relationship with Nanny Li was growing. I had a lot to be grateful for.

In February, I began sending my overflow cases to Alexandra. She was dynamic in the Court Room. She was earning every cent I was paying her. Her husband Edward was caring for their daughter Charline two days a week and three days a week, they had found a sitter for her while he was looking for work. He was skilled with his hands and knew how to use a torch and welder. He had leadership skills as well. Springer was facing the same kind of depression as everywhere else. Work was hard to find. It was nearly a month before a job opened up for him. He was hired as a welder for Leeds Propane Tanks, a large propane tank making company!

By May, the weather was becoming beautiful again. We were having warm days and cool evenings. Susan and I were no longer hiding our relationship. I moved her into the bedroom with me. It had been Seven months since Sharon's death. I was finished mourning, I wanted to live. I wanted Josiah to live. Most of all I wanted a normal life. A home with no body guards. There was no reason for Josiah nor me to be on anyone's hit list with Sharon having been killed.

I ran the idea by Susan. She said that she was basically working for the CAGC and there to protect Josiah. She voiced that she had complicated things by having a relationship with her client's Father. I asked her about what she felt when she said relationship. She smiled and said, "love." I told her she needed to make a decision because I had deep feelings for her and I was moving out of the Villa and wanted her to come with me but not as a guard or a Nanny, as something much more. She asked me what I felt when I said deep feelings, and I had to smile and say, "love."  We kissed and then talked a while longer about her commitment to the CAGC. She had been a Nanny and Security Guard for them for a long time now and put her life on hold. She decided she would contact them and resign her Nanny duties to pursue her personal life.

Over the next few days I made a decision on where I wanted to go with mine and Josiah's lives. I contacted the Sacramento Hall of Records, I needed Sharon's Death Certificate. I planned on asking Susan to marry me and I needed to get a Marriage License. When I contacted them, I asked them to send me a copy of her Death Certificate to my office. The clerk I spoke to took her name, and all of my information. She said it would take up to six weeks between the research, handling and mail time. I told her that was understandable. I was an Attormey, I knew how slow the system worked!

On the way home that day, I stopped at Mariani's Jewelry store and bought Susan an engagement ring. I had called her earlier and told her to get Josiah and herself ready, I was taking them out to dinner! I called Momma and let her know so she would not expect us for dinner that night. I went to the Villa and picked them up, Susan looked fantastic. She wore a beautiful Maroon Silk Camisole, under a Black Linen 3/4 Sleeve Jacket with Matching Linen Dress Pants. Her long black hair shined in the evening light. Josiah was dressed in a three-piece matching outfit that was Denim Jeans and Jacket and a Cotton T-Shirt with tiny Blue Bears on it. The Jean Jacket had a little Blue Bear on the pocket. It was cute. I wore my suit from that day at work. 

I took them to The Hunter's Place, Steak House. It was an upper-class Steak House in the more opulent area of Springer. Josiah was out of place, but I wanted him with me when I proposed to Susan. The host lead us to the back of the restaurant near the restrooms.  Not the nicest place, but I'm sure it was because we had a baby with us! It wasn't long before a waitress came to our table and asked us what we would like to drink! I ordered sparkling water with a twist of lime for both of us! No champagne as one of us had to drive, and Josiah was with us! Susan smiled and said, good choice! When she returned with our drinks, I asked Susan to please go and check Josiah's diaper. I thought I smelled something foul! She was happy to do the dirty deed as she called it. While she was gone, I tied the ring to a red ribbon on a single red rose that I had hidden in my interior suit pocket! I laid that on the bread plate in front of her. I waited with anticipation  for her return.

Susan came bubbling back to the table with Josiah happily in her arms. She teased me a little saying maybe I had been smelling my upper lip, since he only had a wet diaper! She put him back in the high chair and sat down. She saw the rose and smiled. How sweet Jonathan, you bought me a rose! Then she brought it to her nose to smell it, and that is when she saw the ring! I wanted to do it right, so I knelt next to her and said, "Susan, you have brought me back to life, you have watched over Josiah and me, you have cared for us and you have fallen in love with us, and we have fallen in love with you. Susan Li, will you marry me, and become Josiah's mother?" I thought Susan was going to fall out of her seat. She was surprised and overwhelmed. Through a rush of tears, she accepted my proposal. The silence in the restaurant broke into a harmony of clapping hands and cries of "well done," by those who saw or heard what had just taken place! We celebrated with a sparkling water toast and a marvelous meal!

When we got back to the Villa that night Susan showed the household her One Carat Princess Cut Diamond Solitaire Engagement ring. Everyone seemed happy for us. Momma seemed a little illusive in her approval though and that worried me! I thought she was afraid that it was too soon after Sharon's death. She hugged us, smiled and said all the right things, but I had come to know her very well. She was not pleased.

Susan had put a call out to her contact in the CAGC and had not heard from them yet. She said sometimes it took a while unless you went through emergency channels. This was not an emergency, so she was merely going to wait. All she needed to do was to let them know her status. We felt there was no reason we could not go on with planning our move and wedding! We began looking for our own home right away and planned a small wedding on July 4th. We were claiming our Independence from all the problems with them and moving forward with our lives!

Susan and Josiah looked at houses while I was at work. When she found one's she really liked, then I would see them on Saturday's. Sunday's we spent with the family at the Villa. It took about a month but we found one that we both liked and it offered a thirty-day escrow! That was exactly what we needed! It was a large four bedroom, three bath, house with a den. It had a front and back porch, a two-car garage and was surrounded by an 8' tall chain length fence. It was a newer home within a fifteen minute drive from work. It was perfect for us! I signed the papers, wrote a check and soon we would be moving into our new home, as Mr. And Mrs. Jonathan Thomas!

We asked Momma if we could have a small wedding in the back yard at the Villa. We would still be living there. I asked Peter to be my Best Man and Susan asked Sarah to be her Matron of Honor. They both accepted with exuberance! Susan asked Momma if she would walk her down the isle. She had no one else that was as close to her in a parental way as she was, she told Momma. That made tears run from Momma's eye's. The only time I had seen tears in her eyes, that I could remember. She didn't even cry when we got word that Sharon had been killed. Momma was very strong when she needed to be. I guess she could show her soft side now! She gave no answer and ran to her room with the dish cloth she had been drying dishes with wiping her tears. We thought she was overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness and love shown by Susan.

In mid-June, Susan and Sarah went out to look for dresses to wear. Susan wanted a Short White Casual Wedding Dress. Something Silky and Sheer with a little lace and maybe a belted waist. She said that Sarah could wear any dress she wanted as long as it wasn't long, black or white! Sarah picked a Red satin dress with a blue belt. She also bought blue heels and other accessories! She said since they were celebrating their Independence, Red, White and Blue where the natural choices! Sarah showed us all her dress. Susan, who kept her dress a secret from the rest of us, didn't want me to see it until our Wedding Ceremony!

It was only a few weeks until the closing of our escrow and our Wedding Day! We had plans to go to the storage unit the day that escrow closes to see what we want to use from there. Anything we choose not to use we plan on donating to the Goodwill. There were some items I knew I wanted to keep, like the Canterbury Dining room Set and the Houseman Desk and Leather Chair I want to put in the Den.
There is also Sharon's Jewelry Box. I want to keep it and hand it down to Josiah's daughter some day!

I was sitting behind my desk at the office when Peter brought in the mail as he did each day. Today, the envelope finally came from The Department of Vital Records, in Sacramento. I had been dreading this envelope as much as nervously awaiting it so I could get my Marriage License. I didn't want to face seeing the death certificate, actually reading it, holding it in my hand. That hurt too much. Without it, I couldn't move forward! What a sick paradox! I opened the envelope and found a letter,

Dear Sir,

I must inform you that on thorough research of our records. We have found no Sharon Kay Thomas.
Date of Birth: June 12, 1970
Social Security Number: 545-78-8484
in our files as deceased in any county in Sacramento, California. United States.

Sincerely,

Katherine J. Wexler
Director of Records

Oh great, was my first thought, they changed her name before she died! Now what do I do? It was time to ask Momma for help. I needed proof of Divorce or a Death Certificate to get my Marriage License. This was not good. It looked like our Wedding would be put off until I could track down her newest name and get a hold of the Death Certificate!

That night after work, I asked Momma for help. She took me into the den and shut the door. Peter and Sarah were still not privy to Sharon's case. Momma told me to sit down. She looked distressed. She began talking, "Jonathan, I am breaking all the rules, by what I am about to tell you. But you need to know, you have to know. Things are going too far! Jonathan, Sharon is still alive. She is in another safe house, under a new identity!" I could not postulate how I had been duped by this twice! I was angry. Angry at Sharon this time for leaving not only me behind, but our son also. I was in an utter state of mixed shock and sheer outrage! I told Momma that the CAGC had caused me too much grief and so had Sharon. I was done with both of them. I wanted a fake death certificate before the First of July! I was getting my Marriage License on the Second and getting married on the Fourth as planned! The trial had been over since the end of last November and she could stay dead! She had seven months to have someone tell me she was alive or to come out of hiding. Instead she left me to fall in love with someone else. Someone who had been there for me, for the past seven months as I grieved for her! Momma tried to calm me down, but it was useless, the pain was too deep. I agreed not to tell anyone that Sharon was alive, for her continued safety.  I still had every intention of marrying Susan! I told Momma. She said she was sorry that she had hidden the truth from me but the CAGC said it was critical for Sharon's protection. She agreed to get a Death Certificate for me. She said it wouldn't be hard.

Momma did what she said and within the week, I had a Death Certificate. It held no meaning to me this time as I opened the envelope, I knew the only truth to it, was the death of my past with a woman named Lisa that I married many long and troublesome years ago. That was all behind me now. Susan, Josiah and I, went to the Court House and asked for a Marriage License. I gave the Clerk the Death Certificate and my identification. Susan gave them hers. The Clerk typed everything up and within a few minutes there it was, ready for our signatures and that of our Officiate. I asked Judge Marcus Harding to Officiate for us and he was thrilled! He and I had become friendly since I had spent a lot of time in his Court Room, fighting for just causes, as he puts it! We have shared lunch a few times. We each buy our own that way he say's it can't look like I am buying his favor!

I got a phone call at my office several days before I was due to marry Susan. I couldn't believe it. It was Sharon. She heard that I was getting married. Listening to her voice unnerved me. I tried to be angry, but I felt relieved to actually hear her voice and know that she truly was alive. But the  Deja Veau was not something I wanted to continue experiencing. As much as I had loved her, I couldn't recommence the charade that life with her would continue to be. It was far too cruel to Josiah, and me.

I told Sharon that I was happy to find out that she had not been killed in the Railroad and Semi-truck shootout that day, but as for Josiah and I, we would continue to live as if she was deceased, as cruel as that sounded. I had fallen in love with Susan and we would provide a stable, violence free home for Josiah. Sharon cried but conceded that she chose her path a long time ago when she involved herself with the H1N1 medical research investigation. She said she loved us enough to stay dead! I told her that I loved her and admired her for that selfless act, as tears ran down my face, and then I hung up the phone.

That night as I lay in bed tears began falling from my eyes again. My heart was not as callous as my words. I knew Sharon was lying in her bed somewhere, and she too was crying. She had lost everything. Her parents and family in Sacramento, her friends, her husband and her son. She is a woman with an ever-changing identity who may never settle in one place. The chances that she might find happiness and contentment in her life are minimal at best. My heart still grieved for the woman I knew as Lisa.