"Who left this towel on the floor?" I called.

"Not me!" they all answered.

"Whose cereal bowl is this on the table?" I yelled.

"Not me!" they all answered.

"Someone's coke is sitting on the coffee table - who's is it?" I sighed.

"Not me!" they all answered.

"Who ate the last cupcake that Dad hid in the back of the refrigerator?" I shouted.

"Not me!" they all answered.

After years of this type of exchange with my six children, I got fed up. I was so annoyed at that anonymous little organism called the "Not Me!" virus. It was making me sick and tired, sometimes to the point of hopelessness on the worst days. But one day last spring I had a brilliant idea that would change my life as a mom forever.

After putting the little ones to bed one night, and seeing that the dinner dishes were being attended to by one of the older kids, I turned in early for the night. The next morning I got up, showered and headed downstairs to make the coffee. What I saw in the kitchen made me take a step back. It looked like the "Not Me!" virus had struck again! There were dirty dishes on the computer desk, an empty popcorn bag on the counter, and an empty popcorn bowl in the family room with popcorn on the couch and floor. The virus had demolished a bag of Fritos and left its empty bag on the floor of the pantry. I couldn't even get to the coffee maker because the toaster and an open jar of peanut butter were in the way! The kitchen was clean when I last saw it - what happened?!?

I went into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and gather my senses about me. But when I walked in the door I was assaulted again by evidence of the little "Not Me!" terrorist. I saw a wet towel on the floor and a toothbrush beside a huge glob of toothpaste on the sink! I must have blacked out or something at that moment because the next thing I remember is coming to in the towel section at Target with a cart full of different colored towels. What a nightmare!

Okay, so I'm a bit of a drama queen.....

Seriously, though, I did come to my senses regarding this problem of kids leaving stuff all over the place and no one owning up to being the one who did it. I decided to assign each one of my children their own color and corresponding items in their color. For example, my youngest, Duncan, is the color orange. He has his own orange dishes, towels, sheets, can coozie, and toothbrush – just to name a few. I even have little orange colored star stickers to place on some of things he frequently uses that aren’t available in orange. I keep the family calendar in Palm Desktop on my computer and have even color coded his activities in orange.

As I was hatching this plan I wondered how the children would react to this new idea. To my surprise they were really excited! For the first time they had specific “ownership” of some things besides their toys and gadgets. The kids that were frequently the ones everybody pointed the finger at were given the opportunity to clear their names and they welcomed that chance. On the flip side of this issue, I was afraid that some of the ones more apt to scheme would take advantage of the system and use someone else’s stuff just to get them in trouble. I am happy to report that this has never been an issue. They respect each others things and are living by an unofficial code of honor with regards to each other’s property.

The best thing about color-coding for me was finally having the ability to see who needed to learn the discipline of tidiness. It was surprising to learn that the kids who were messy in the kitchen were not necessarily the ones who were leaving things behind in the bathroom. They are being held accountable by me, their dad and each other, which is a very good thing for all of us.

I am so glad I took the trouble to organize this system of ownership and accountability for my children. It really has made a difference in our family. The benefits are too numerous to mention, and the list keeps growing. Our oldest son is graduating from high school in a week or so and will soon be moving out of state to go to college. Our color-coded system will make the task of packing his things up to move away a lot easier, too. But the biggest benefit, by far, is that we have effectively inoculated our family against the “Not Me” virus. It will rear its ugly head in our house from time to time, but we sure don’t see evidence of it every day anymore.