Comment on 'Comments'
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My Comment on Commenting
Leaving Comments
Recently I've read some comments left on web pages and content boxes and felt the need to give my thoughts on leaving comments.
Comments can be great, fun, amusing and helpful. They can also be useless, hurtful, and out right mean.
Think About Why You Want To Make A Comment
I had a conversation one time with a friend and we were discussing an uncomfortable interaction she had with an acquaintance. She reminded me of something I wanted to share.
Is It About You Or Them?
If you say something (comment) to raise a person's energy (make them feel good), that's about ‘them'.
If you say something to bring their energy down (hurt them or being negative), then it's about ‘you'.
Always keep this in mind. Are you making a comment to feel good about yourself, assuage your ego, or is about helping someone else?
Once On The Internet You Can't Take It Back
Whatever you put out there in cyberspace stays there.
You can't take it back.
People will get to recognise you and if you've been spiteful, hurtful, negative and full of yourself, it will get around.
Can we leave constructive criticism? Certainly we can and we should. But there is a way to do it.
Think Of It Like A Sandwich.
First, tell them what they're doing right.
Then, make your constructive comments, how they can improve etc.
And then
Finish by reminding them what they're doing right.
Consider This When Leaving A Comment In A Comment Box
The Internet is Global. There will be people who write or communicate better than others.
Spelling can be different, yes,even English, depending on the country in which you live.
For example, I have used ‘s' when spelling ‘recognise'. I live in Australia and that's how it's done here. In the USA a ‘z' is used. Both are correct.
Bottom line is not to be too judgemental.
Always Ask Yourself This Question: "How Can I Add Value To This Person And Their Contribution?
If you can't add value, then don't say anything.
It becomes an ego trip for you and can only hurt you in the long run.
It All Leads To Branding: A Reflection Of You
Earlier I talked about leaving comments that provide value for the content contributor.
Now, we can talk about how leaving a valuable comment for someone else, increase YOUR value as well.
It's called Branding
Branding happens when people begin seeing your name around the internet or your photo. They say "Oh, I know him, or I know her".
How they think about you , either in a positive or negative way will be determined by how you've branded yourself on the Internet.
Do you want to be known as a Spammer or one who has a good reputation for providing value whenever you leave comments or content. Even your comments are "content" on the web.
Think of it as sort of a legacy. How do you want to be remembered or thought of online?
Your message becomes a reflection of you. Make it work for you as well as others.
Learn to build your internet brand and make it a good one. Especially if your goal is to attract lots of people to your sites and maybe even your internet affiliate marketing business.
Attraction Marketing is about attracting people to you. If you do it the wrong way, you can drive them away. You have the power with the click of your computer keys.
Make leaving comments a win- win for everyone and your brand will grow...the right way.
Positive Online Branding will serve you well.
- The Attraction Networker
Resources, articles and information about how to attract prospects to you, whether you are in internet affiliate marketing, network marketing, attraction marketing or all three combined. - Deborah Marsden Can Be Your Guide
- Internet Affiliate Marketing + Network Marketing+Attraction Marketing=Bigger Business
Why limit yourself to one marketing strategy when you can harness the power of three and leverage your business to new heights? - Marketing Professionals - Network Marketing: Internet Attraction & Affiliate Network Marketing
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Comments
This reminds me of what I tell my kids about tattle-tale (or is it tail)ing. Are they ONLY telling me to get someone else in trouble? If so, they shouldn't be telling me a all.
That's my comment on Comment on "Comments"! ;)
Thanks for spelling this out to us. Most people don't think things through before they do them and this was really helpful.
Hi Deborah,
Thank you for writing an article that is a timely reminder. Fortunately I've been on the receiving end of positive and constructive comments. However, I've read comments that people have left for others that made me wonder about them and not the article being commented on.
On the internet It Is Forever! You Can't Take It Back! This is an incredibly important thing for people to remember.
One place folks can really get into trouble is tounge in cheek or joking around in comments.
Humor is especially tricky online because of the global nature of the internet. What is funny in one place is a deadly insult in another.
So be very careful before making a snappy little, nod, nod, wink, wink comment you KNOW eveyone will "get" is a joke or meant to be funny.
You could just find the joke is on you.
If you are writing a comment and “it's all about them” - that's great! It inevitably however, becomes also about YOU, because your good intention becomes obvious to everyone else who reads the article and your comment on it. So this makes it a win-win.
You are more up to attracting attention in a positive way when you contribute to something then when you sabotage something.
But where I feel that a lot of people go wrong is when they think they contribute to something by just placing a sentence or two like “Great article! Someone needed to write about it!”
And those who write these kinds of comments may think this is good because they are not negative. But it actually hurts them because in the eyes of the rest of the marketers out there and their prospects as well, they have just come to slam their picture and name here for more exposure. So it’s natural that they will be ignored by the crowd.
Uniqueness counts and there is nothing unique about “Great article! Good job, looking for more!” Uniqueness comes with REAL VALUE.
So Deborah, when you say “If you can't add value, then don't say anything.” I feel that this must be expanded and explained as to what is value really.
Value doesn’t necessarily mean a positive comment. Because “Great article” is a positive comment!
So I will go about it by saying that- if you can’t expand as to why you think it’s a “Great Article” don’t bother to write.
You have to choose. What kind of image you would like to create for yourself. If you are on the Internet just for entertaining then this probably does not apply for you, you may not care at all what your image is.
But if you have come to build a business using the Internet it's all about image.
And your comments could contribute a lot for the creation of the image you want. So when you comment “make it about them” but “make it about YOU” as well. What does your comment make you look like in other people’s eyes? This is what I meant when I said it’s a win-win in the beginning.
Partners in Progress,
DiDi Alcheva
I've read some spirited discussions in the comments sections at some sites. A difference of opinion and the following interactions can be highly valuable. But when the disagreement turns petty or childish, no one wins.
I love your point, Deborah, that you have to think "is it about them; or is it about you?" Relationships can be made or broken within an innocent looking comment box. By looking at the comments, I'd say you hit on a really important topic!
Hi All,
Yes, I have to agree with Didi. I've been guilty myself of just wanting to be friendly and say great job etc. As she says, this doesn't add much value and although not intended for just a photo etc, it's taken me awhile to understand it all myself.
I think pointing out why you like something is as important as what you think they could do better.
So thanks for the comments on the comments and we'll keep improving!
Partners in success,
Deb
Deb,
I'm so glad you wrote about commenting. On reflection, I've been guilty of leaving comments that are too short and don't add value--even though I had good intentions. For instance, sometimes I just want someone to know that I've been there and read their content and liked it. Sort of like leaving an encouraging phone message for a friend or team member who has asked: Did you see it? Did you read it? Did you like it?
As Didi points out, though, there's more to adding value than adding an "I see you" and "great job". There's telling someone what specifically you liked and why...the impact something has on you and the action you are moved to take...noticing the details as well as the whole ... adding complementary narrative about content or resources with a review or annotation....
Lots of ways we can dig deeper to make the conversation more focused on the content and its value vs. the more superficial approach of "hi, like you and your stuff, good-bye"
Barbara/Silvalinings also made an interesting point about spirited discussion vs. petty negativity when disagreements are aired. I too love a spirited discussion and think that more "truth" is discovered when people explore their differences openly. By openly, I mean with a mind open to being influenced by other points of view even those opposing. The truth almost always turns out to be fuller, more interesting and useful in the "between", the space where points of view touch, sometimes overlap, but getting there had some tension and zing!
Rat Race Rebel is spot on pointing out that humor is more "delicate" when conversing and commenting online. Without visual cues like body language and auditory cues like tone of voice, mere text lacks the ability to communicate irony, self-deprication or even outright "Gotcha!" from a smiling, good-intentioned and warm friend.
Somewhere in my training I remember hearing that once you write your first comment (and before you hit "send", "submit" or "post") ask yourself:
If my comment answers the question, "What?" Then, what can I add to answer, "So what?"
Joy in learning,
Kate/AchieveMarketing
Hi Kate,
Thanks for your comments. As I said earlier, I too have done the same thing but with good intentions. I have to admit, that part of my lack in doing better when leaving comments was my fear. sounds silly I know, but I really was scared to say anything. As you can see, I'm well and truly over that!!!
Shelly , our favorite rat race rebel was spot on about the humor aspect of things.
Sometimes I think it's easy for some to use the annomnimity of the internet to hide behind and say things to a person that they wouldn't say to their face.
Bottom line is consideration and respect for the person/people at the other side of the keyboard. As Barbara Silva says, they're a real human being.
Comments can be used to make difference in someone's life and to show a bit of 'humanity'.
Partners in Success,
Deborah
I have to say if you dont have anything good to say then dont comment .
Hi Deborah,
I especially like your sandwich idea. I usually like to leave an encouraging word for someone, but hesitate to say anything criticle. I don't want to be seen in a negitive light. I'm not talking anything big, just maybe a spelling error or something small.
There have been times when I have sent a private email to point that out, so they can fix it without the entire world seeing and looking for their mistake.
So, your sandwich idea is great! Start positive, end positive and if need be, sprinkle with constructive criticism in between.
How did I do making this sandwich?
Michelle
Hi Deborah - thank you for taking the time to write this hub. You're so spot on. I have sometimes seen a hub that can use a little help (maybe they didn't quite get how to link to url's or maybe English is their second language and the writing wasn't quite there), but I couldn't imagine making that kind of feedback public. There is a way to contact someone on hubpages directly if you feel you can offer some valuable feedback. Even then, it has to be done with a kindness and tact.
If you really want to help people then offer that help. If you want to put others down to make yourself feel better, then it only reflects poorly on you not on the person you're putting down. As I always remind myself, 99percent of the world's problems are based on insecurity.
Thankfully hubpages and most other social networking sites are largely supportive communities. I for one am grateful for everyone who becomes my friend/fan and for the relationships I'm building with people all around the world. Thanks Deborah.
regtroye says:
17 months ago
Definitely something to keep in mind. Thanks for ypur contribution and a very good Hub.