There are lots of possible reasons why your boyfriend won't take the final step and get married. Your partner's reasons may be minor, and he may just need a nudge. But for others, the reasons are non-negotiable, and if you try to push them towards marriage, you'll end up making it worse - even losing them. So it's important to tread carefully!

One common mistake that women make, when they talk about getting married, is that it's easy to give the impression the wedding is more important than what comes after. When you talk about marriage with your significant other, make it clear that doesn't apply to you.  Make it clear HE's the one that is important - and that he's not just a means to achieving your Big Day.

Men have egos - declaring himself means he risks making a fool of himself if you turn him down.   So he won't say anything until he's absolutely sure you're committed. You might think "but he should know how I feel" - but men aren't that subtle! Or perhaps you're similarly anxious about his intentions. Think about this, and make sure you're not sending mixed messages about how serious you are about your relationship.

Anti-Marriage Sentiment

Another reason could be that he just doesn't see the point of marriage. What do you know about his parents' marriage? Was it troubled? Did they divorce? Is he divorced himself?  If that's the case, he knows that getting married doesn't guarantee anything, so he may not see the point in changing the nature of your relationship ("if it ain't broke, don't fix it"). He may fear that if you get married, it will turn out like his parents'.

You need to give him reasons for feeling it's worthwhile anyway - so you need to work out what those reasons are for you, and how to express them.

Third reason - he's afraid of settling down. Marriage spells responsibilities, kids, a boring job, the end of fun. It's up to you to convince him that's not true. I travelled all over the world with my first husband - being married didn't stop us having adventures. Of course, if you're ready for a white picket fence and he's not, then you have a problem which is bigger than whether or not you get hitched.

He's not that into you...

Final reason - he may not be 100% convinced you're the love of his life. This may come as a surprise if you've been together for a long time - but face it, if you're hot and/or you're doing a great job of looking after him, what incentive does he have to move on?

Try to push this kind of guy into marriage and you're likely to push him out of your life - but on the other hand, perhaps it's better to find out now than waste any more years of your life on him?

I've written this Hub from a woman's point of view, because it's rare for a woman to resist marriage if she's sure of her feelings for a man. However, most of these scenarios could apply equally to both sexes.

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All text copyright Marisa Wright. All photos courtesy of photographers below