It has been on my mind now for a few weeks.  I guess now I am finally getting it out and how I feel.  Maybe my feelings are wrong and I am going on my past but I am really not to sure.  I have this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I know this lady who is well I don't know if they are dating or what the whole situation is.  I just feel like the situation she is in is very unhealthy.  It kind of reminds me of my past relationship that lasted a little over seven years.  I was teenager then and I was young and naive about how relationships should be.  I am older and maybe a little bit wiser now on what relationships should be based on and what they shouldn't be based on or how they should be. 

To me a relationship should be honest and based on trust.  I feel like this relationship between this man and woman is not based on that.  I feel like this man is sorta smothering this person.  I mean always around, always around when the person is trying to talk to me so she can't really say what is going on with her or him.  Kinda like she is afraid to talk about it in front of him.  Relationships should not be like that.  You should be able to talk openly about your relationship especially with people who care about you and love you.  If something isn't going right in the relationship you should be able to talk about it and work things out.  But instead when I talk to this person about it, it is like I will tell you later or it is a yes or no answer. 

Now that I am a little bit older and a little bit wiser and have lived, I know what I do want and do not want in a relationship.  I know my past relationship is just like the one this woman is in.  Like I said I don't know what exactly the status of the relationship of the woman and this man is, but I do know I do not like it.  I see in her what I went through for seven years and I don't want her to go through that for years or at all.  I remember I was kinda isolated from my family and my friends.  I kept my conversations on a low key basis so people wouldn't worry.  I know my family worried about me but I really don't think I gave them anything to worry about.  Maybe this is all none of my business but I feel like I have the right to be concerned about it.  From what I can see right now this person to me is not her self when she is around him.  Our phone conversations are yes no or I will tell you later.  Or it is hold on I am trying to listen to what he has to say.  I almost feel like it is an intrusion on our time.  I really don't know.   

I guess I am just concerned and worried because I don't want her to go down the same path I did.  I know she hasn't really dated in a long time and no one wants to be alone, but being alone is better than being with a guy where you can't talk about the relationship is kinda upsetting to me.  It seems to me since she met this guy everything is different, she is not going to do the things she was going to do, she isn't talking as much and not talking to some of the people I know care a lot about her. I really don't know how to feel about all this.  I want this person to be happy with her life, not be like she is being held hostage to her thoughts because of fear of what he will say or maybe even do.  No relationship should be based on that for sure and  I repeat no relationship should be based on that at all.  I also feel like she is settling for second best when she deserves the best.  Maybe she feels as no one will want her in her age and all that, I know I felt like that, but it is soooo not true at all.  She will get the best, it may take time but I know it will happen.  Just concerned and want her to be happy is all.  Am I wrong for feeling this way?  I just have this feeling and have felt it now for a while so I just needed to share I suppose.