Comedians love to tell mother-in-law jokes. Society really loves the caricature of a domineering mother-in-law. I have to confess that I cringe every time I hear such a joke. As the mother of three sons who married and left home long ago, I wanted to be a great mother-in-law. I heard the horror stories about family relationships with married children and their spouses and I did not want any part of that! Of course I did not know how to be a mother-in-law! Who does?

Family relationships are very important to me. I have been researching the family history for over thirty years and I love the research and the way it puts me in touch with my roots. As a member of a large family I was never alone during my younger years and I hoped that my children would acquire that love of family from me. My oldest son married very young and his wife became like one of my children. The end of that marriage was one of the hardest things I have ever been through in my life! My daughter-in-law became a daughter by choice and is still involved in my life with my grandchildren.

Evidently times have changed or I am just plainly old fashioned, but I thought when your sons married, their spouses would at least pretend to have an interest in their husband’s family. In my world that is not the case. Now, I am not saying that my daughters-in-law are bad people. They are well educated, caring people. They are involved in their churches and community. They live full active lives and have many friends. My sons are happy with their lives. For that I am thankful.

This incomprehensible situation developed slowly and is a total mystery to me. As far as I know there is no anger, no malice, and no particular incident caused by me that caused this relationship problem. We are cordial when we meet every few months but that is not a real family relationship.

I am a busy person. I have a life outside of my children. And yet, every evening for about fifteen minutes I wonder what they are doing and how life is going for them. I wonder if it is something I have done, or is it just society changing relationships and families as time rushes by in this virtual world in which we live.

There was a time when it was acceptable to laugh at the mother-in-law because her position in the family and the lives of her children was unassailable. That position is no more in the world where I live. I do not love mother-in-law jokes. They come too close to a point of conflict in which I have no idea where I stand or what position I should hold.

Mother-in-laws Are No Longer A Joke