Just so that there are no unfortunate misunderstandings, perhaps I should just make clear from the start that when I use the word ‘fetish’ in relation to stationery, I’m not talking about the definition which refers to the gratification of sexual desires, but the one which describes ‘excessive and irrational commitment to something’. Wouldn’t want anybody running off with the wrong idea...

Also on the subject of fetishes, I came across an interesting explanation which stated that the object itself is not being worshipped, but rather that it is being used as a conduit to reach an altered state or a higher state of consciousness. Whilst I’m not sure about the higher state of consciousness bit, I do know that there is nothing like a beautiful new notebook and a fountain pen to lift me out of the doldrums. Sad, I know, but true.

I’ve never been too sure whether it is only writers who suffer from stationery fetishes, or whether the ‘affliction’ is much more wide-ranging than that. Personally, I blame mine on my late mother (God bless her) who never used anything less than Basildon Bond writing paper and bought me a beautiful black leather writing case and some personalised stationery when I was still very young. I still have the case now, almost 40 years later. Not only this, but she was also the kind of lady who always insisted on having just the right tool for the job. In our house we ate grapefruits with a grapefruit spoon and corn on the cob from those specially-shaped dishes. Maybe I just learned that biros and reporter’s notebooks were NOT the right tools for writing.

I do honestly wonder whether it’s a bit sad that I get my greatest kicks from wandering around Paperchase (or should I say ‘got’ – I now live in Crete and they just haven’t got their act together on the stationery front!), but hey, whatever blows your hair back, I say. I also worry a little that I have passed my obsession on to my daughter, but looking on the bright side, at least that means one person out there who understands me...and it makes for great mother/daughter shopping trips!

It’s hard to describe what it is about a fresh new notebook that sends me into raptures. Maybe it’s the feeling that THIS will be the notebook where I write the novel that will have agents and publishers beating my door down and begging me to sign a contract. Sadly though, the last couple that I filled haven’t done the trick...well, not yet anyway...

I think maybe that’s it. I think an empty notebook is just so full of promise, as well as being a thing of beauty, which they usually are in my case as my dear mother also brought me up to appreciate the nice things in life and I have a bit of a tendency to lean towards the more expensive end of the market and something really nice. Paperchase was always very much my hunting ground and my saving grace, because at least there I could find something pretty at a reasonable price.

I wish I could tell you that my stationery fetish stops at notebooks, but I’m afraid that if I did that, that would make me a closet stationery fetishist – and I don’t think there’s a cure for that! No, it’s not just notebooks, it’s my gorgeous bright pink, Italian leather Filofax and matching Breast Cancer pen too...and worse than that...fountain pens.  

I think my ‘first love’ in terms of fountain pens was the Parker Falcon that my parents bought for me. It was exquisite, matt brown with an integral gold nib which meant that I couldn’t wreck it quite so easily. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not careless or deliberately brutal with my fountain pens, but I am left-handed and have a tendency to press too hard when I write.

Parker had actually stopped making the Falcon by the time I decided I couldn’t live another day without one, but my parents managed to find one anyway. Sadly, however, some years later it was stolen when my ex-husband and I were mugged in the South of France. I was so upset at losing it that my ex went to great lengths to have all the necessary parts sent over from America so that one could be built for me especially. That one ended up doing a round trip from the UK via Germany to Crete and back again (without ever reaching my home here!) and was last reported seen in my ex’s loft! I hope to be reunited with the Falcon and the other treasured specimens which accompanied it in the near future.

Of course, being a leftie who naturally has nice handwriting, it wasn’t long before I progressed to italic nibs, most of which I have to order especially of course. I defy anybody to write anything other than beautifully with an italic nib. It just isn’t possible, I’m sure. There’s just something about the way the nib glides across the page... Sorry, you lost me there for a minute... My writing implement of choice at the moment is a silver and gold-coloured Sheaffer pen with said left-handed italic nib. I’ve had it for a few years now and I love its weightiness and the way it makes every piece of writing look like a piece of art.

Calligraphy pens were, of course, the next step...well, it had to happen didn’t it? Actually, those did manage to make it to Crete, but I have to confess that they have had precious little use during the past four years. I’m too busy with other kinds of writing... Although I was never one of those people who progressed to designing and producing my own hand-made Christmas cards, it was a wonderfully relaxing way to while away a couple of hours.

Thinking about it, as my stationery fetish extends way beyond notebooks and nice pens into the realms of coloured paper clips, binders, organiser wallets, conference folders, desk sets and much more besides, I guess this is probably all about the desire to be organised. If everything is neatly labelled and filed away in its proper place, there is at least a sense of being in control of something, which can’t always be said about other areas of my life.

Oh well, strange or not, it’s a harmless fascination which affects nothing more than my bank balance, and at least everyone knows exactly what to buy me for my birthday and at Christmas. If you’ve caught any of your friends and family loitering rather longer than was necessary in the stationery department and you think they might secretly be a stationery fetishist, you now know what to buy for them too!