I am 36 years old and self admittedly a retired Hair Weave Queen.

I have worn my hair multiple versions of various ‘accepted’ hairstyles. I have sewn in weave, glued up, straightened, hot ironed and braided in various lengths of synthetic and human hair extensions that was once attached to someone else’s head.

I have spent many hours in the seats of well intentioned hair dressers; learning more than a little bit about the personal business of the woman in the seat next to me while frying, dying and over processing the very life out of my african american hair. My natural hair never stood a chance.

I have been caught in the vicious cycle of hair straigtening my kinky hair, having it dry out to a crisp brittle mess and being forced to cut off my thinning hair. I would then use a protective style like a hair weave, or microbraids until my natural hair recovered somewhat, only to apply a hair relaxer yet again. I repeated this vicious cycle for many years, from the age of 8 until I was 19.

That was the first time that I experienced hair freedom. I shaved my hair down to a mere peach fuzz and joined the ranks of the guys in our local barber shop- what an education that was! I wore my hair short in a typical mens hairstyle. It was such a liberating feeling and the freedom to be able to go to the pool…and wet my hair? Well that was second to none.

Yet still, the lure of the hair weave l beckoned and I was drawn back into its clutches, destined to repeat the cycle again and again until my thirties. The abuse of my natural hair had taken its toll. I found that I could not hold hair straightener in my hair  for longer than 3 weeks. It would start thinning and breaking almost immediately after application. Finally I made the choice to cut it off. I went down to my old style of peach fuzz, but with a difference….I left it there.

Learning about natural hair care has gone from a battle of wills to a labour of love. I know that my hair loves water, and coconut oil, but hates store bought products. I have learned that my hair really does not love heat of any sort-and an afro pick can be a girls’ best friend!

It has been a journey of self discovery and ultimately a journey of self acceptance. I like myself a whole lot more and enjoy the face I that peers back at me now that it is no longer under 2 packs of hair weave.

5 years later and I sport my hair in a jumble of wild and flowing  dreadlocks. I wet my hair as I please and freed up major dollars that used to go the way of the hair supply shop. Most importantly though I have freed my mind of the negative thoughts that told me that my natural hair was not beautiful.

When I freed my hair and allowed it to be, I freed my mind as well.