Life is a funny thing. Just when things start to improve and 

get really great, something slips in to throw me off base. 

Usually, I can figure out what it is and correct it, but then

there are those days. Those days when absolutely nothing makes 

any sense. Those days when the past creeps back in and brings 

back all of those insecurities and fears. It seems as if 

everything I do and think are almost meaningless. All I do, 

the time I spend, the efforts I make, just never seems like

it's enough.  

As parents get older, they need someone to help them along 

their aging road.  The hard part is that they don't see that 

they need help.  They thrive on their independence, their 

ability to survive without help.  I have come to realize that

convincing them that they need some help is futile.  I take 

care of my mother.  She will be 82 soon.  She had a brain 

tumor removed almost two months ago.  She is not able to stay

alone, she needs help.  

It is much more difficult than I had imagined it would be.  

There are choices that have to be made, and responsibilities 

that have to be taken care of.  She doesn't like the fact 

that she needs some help.  If my daughter and I weren't there,

she would have to live somewhere else.  We know that, but she

doesn't see that.  We are intruders in her life, trying to 

take over, to run her life.  I don't how long we will be able

to care for her at this point.  She yells at everyone about 

everything, no matter how big or how small.  

I feel totally helpless, and extremely worthless.  Whether it

is meds, or just coping with day to day occurrences, it is 

never enough, never right.  So, I guess my children and I are

intruders in her life.  I can only hope that when I am this 

age, I remember that my children are there to help me, and 

with God's grace, I won't be compelled to criticize

their every move.