Coping With Jealousy In A Marriage

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By stefan


How Do You Deal With Jealousy in a Marriage

Whenever there are two people together there will be jealousy. It doesn't matter if they are married or not. Jealousy is a phenomenon that is hard to grasp and even harder to deal with.

When you are in a relationship you know that there is the tendency of you becoming jealous - often for reasons you cannot really explain.

It is crucial to examine the deeper feelings that create jealousy instead of just trying to deal with the negative emotions emerging from it.

See these tips below on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship:

1. Get a concept of your inner self

Try asking yourself why exactly you are getting jealous in a certain moment. Are there signs that your partner may actually betray you or is it just that you think it might happen some day?

Trust is the best defense against jealousy. When two people trust each other jealousy is much less likely to get any chance at all. However, distrust is the perfect foundation on which jealousy can grow - and eventually get out of control.

If it really wirth your time to get jealous at a certain point?

2. Actually a certain amount of jealousy can be healthy for a marriage. This goes as long as it doesn't reach a critical level and distrust and anger become the predominant feelings. Jealousy actually has its roots in our desire to presereve what we have when we get the feeling that something or somebody might be taken from us.

A man will naturally want to 'protect his territory'. This is why it is hard-wired into a man's behavior. This is as long as this 'territorial feeling' tends more to protect his partner and not be destructive.

If you keep this in mind then you can actually use these feelings to be constructive instead of being destructive and make them work towards improving your relationship.

3. Try to find out where these feelings are coming from. There is always a reason for it. Most of the time the cause of this will be some type of insecurity. You think you are lacking something or have some other doubts about yourself or your partner.

It might be caused by a certain experience in the past you had with another partner.

There are many possible explanation for it - but in most cases there has been one particular incident that caused a person to be jealous from there.

It is curcial that you find the reason for these feelings within yourself.

4. There are also other types of jealousy.

You might be jealous of things or traits your partner has and you don't.

So you must address the root of the problem so you can better understand your own feelings.

5. Have you thought about what jealousy does to your partner?

Many times jealousy has been the cause why couples separate.

How would you feel if your partner was jealous all the time and you think there is actually no reason for it. Put yourself in the situation of your partner and try to understand how your jealousy comes across.

6. Try to prevent irrational jealousy

You might find out that low self-esteem is to be blamed for many occurences of jealousy. Try working on your self-esteem first before creating irrational situations for you and your partner - and many times other people observing the situation.

7. Accept taking risks.

You might fear to be disappointed by your partner and do anything you can to fight a sitiation where you could possibly be disappointed.

In life you must accpet taking risks because there is no way to avoid ever getting hurt. Try to accept this as a basic fact in life. There is no life vest against getting hurt.

If you learn to deal with these feelings you will be able to manage your jealousy and have a much happier relationship.

More Marriage Tips

If you want to get more info on how to fix marriages in trouble check out the marriage book recommendations at 2saveamarriage.com.

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Jaramillo profile image

Jaramillo  says:
2 years ago

Nicely put. I am in a serious relationship and this relationship is by far the best one I've ever had. My insecurity was that I had realized that I was vulnerable and this reason is what had caused my jealousy.

In order for a successful relationship to grow we must trust each other. In the beginning of a relationship, this trust or lack of trust will often result in jealousy, because we let our defenses down. If during this transition, we don't hear exactly what we want to hear, it causes our actions to be defensive in a manner that can be self distructive. What helped me get over this transition was communication.

Sometimes, we just need reassurance to get over a trouble spot in a relationship. If your partner is not willing to listen to you and communicate your issues or vis versa, then you really need to reevaluate your relationship and possibly move on. If you are able to talk with your partner and you are able to be completely honest with each other, then you are on the right path to a long successful relationship. If a topic of jealousy turns into fit of rage and the fight lasts for long periods of time, then that is a sure sign that you are not meant for each other.

Arlie MacGregor profile image

Arlie MacGregor  says:
2 years ago

I agree that jealousy stems from insecurity, but it doesn't help when a partner plays on those insecurities and makes comments about other men/women, as thought they'd rather be with someone else (aka verbal rubber-necking).

What may seem like an innocent, playful comment might actually be sending your partner's insecurities through the roof. Try expressing your appreciation for your partner's attributes, rather than the guy/girl down the street.

~Arlie

Robert Huizenga profile image

Robert Huizenga  says:
2 years ago

Thanks for your contribution to this powerful topic. I think #1 is very important.

bettiegurrl profile image

bettiegurrl  says:
2 years ago

I swear my man is jealous of me because he has to work and I dont. I dont know what to do about it however, I cant change the way he feels. Whats annoying is when we have a 'normal' conversation about it, he tells me he's glad I get to stay home with my daughter, but if we get into an argument, his true feelings surface and I know he's resentful of me. Ah, what to do....

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