Coping with divorce initially has to be done alone.  Severing a relationship through legal  means of the courts can be devastating to the point of throwing one into grief if the relationship had endured for a long time.  Also depending on the events that caused the relationship breakup, the initial response may  put a toll on your self esteem and what you think of yourself.  You need not be punitive to yourself or blame yourself for the relationship mishap.  Learn to build yourself up daily through satisfying activities that you enjoy knowing that a failed relationship does not mean that you have failed as a good person.

The first step that you must do is to realize that ending a relationship no matter the duration is not the end of you.  Although you may have related for years to the other person and knew that person thoroughly, you were an individual through the relationship and must remain true to yourself as an individual.  The way you cope with the divorce will have a lot to do with how  you handled the disputes and disagreements while in the marriage.  If you sort the advice and friendship of friends and relatives then, these people should continue to be a part of your support system. 

Before  you invite the help of others in your coping process, you must again become in tune with who you are as an individual.  You must regain your interests that you may have stifled to get in the good graces of another.  You must put what is important to you first because regardless of the reason for the breakup, something happened that should not have. You want to make sure that you are able to care for yourself both emotionally and financially.

Emotionally, you need to allow time to yourself and to tell yourself that though the relationship was a failure, that as a product of the failure does not mean that you are a failure, individually.  You need to separate yourself from the status of the relationship which is null and void and began to build yourself up.  Take good care of  yourself and if you are unemployed, look for means to support yourself so that you can be a provider and not have to depend on anyone else.  You need to abide by the divorce decree and understand that now you are on your own and have to do all the things needed to sustain yourself and any children  involved.  If children are involved, you should remain amicable and make sure that the child support payments are adhered to.

What you are doing basically is starting over again. You are starting with a clean slate without a mate and on a fairer playing field because you do not have to submit to please anyone except yourself.  As you are starting over, you need to do the things that you did before you got married.  Once your have built  your self esteem up which should not have been affected by the break up, revisit the you that had plans and goals for a bright future.   You do not want to complicate matters by rushing into another relationship.  You need to make sure that you are ready for the new person and that may take some time after the divorce.

Now, you are coping with the divorce by looking at your self as a new person without the spoils of the previous relationship.  Once you are secure in what you want to do with your new beginning such as going back to school or starting a career, then you can invite family and friends into your support group.  A divorce is a final stage of marriages that did not work out, so do not surround yourself with people who are going to bring the relationship up except to encourage you to move on.  You cope with divorce by initially accepting the fact that the relationship is over and that now you are free to be the person that you still can be in spite of a failed relationship.  Accept the fact that the relationship failed and that because of its demise gives you the opportunity to spring back a much better and stronger person with a higher self esteem. You can sustain yourself as an individual for having had one of life's unfortunate experiences.