For anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year. As grief/loss are often unaknowledged in our western culture it can make one feel like a complete outsider. While a sudden crying jag in the middle of a store isle, is a perfectly normal reaction, compassion sometimes seems to be in short supply. Just know you are not alone and there are compassionate people who understand what you are going through.

In my own struggles with grief I found a free self-help group called The Compassionate Friends, they have chapters all over the country for siblings, parents and grandparent's who have lost a child/sibling/grandchild.

One-on one therapy with someone who is top-notch in the filed of grief is also helpful. It's so tempting to be sucked down the drain into the well of darkness. Just having a chance to freely express all of the dark emotions in a safe space helps relieve stress and anxiety.

These emotions can manifest in the body, so it's vital to do the grief "work" even though as the good doctor said on my favorite show, House..."dying is easy, it's living that's hard." There are likely still people in your life who hope you'll make it through.

I know for me, coming up with a memorial ceremony has been helpful. I created a memory book with stories, some plant a tree, light a candle or even buy a present for the loved one who is now in spirit.

There are those who won't be supportive because they don't even want to try to empathize with the feelings that accompany tragedy. It's important to keep yourself surrounded by only those who can really support you. The best analogy I heard in a group was, "it's like walking around without a leg, you learn to walk again in a new way but you never forget you've lost a leg!"

What has helped me the most is clinging to a belief system that brings me the most comfort. I believe the soul continues after death and now I am more intuitive and more in tune with spirit and those who have passed than ever before. For a while I hadn't given the subject much thought but after a few great losses, I know without a doubt this feels true in my bones. Whatever belief brings comfort, give yourself permission to believe it, even if it's not believable to others.

The world has cracked open and the way we see it has been changed forever but eventually, if we let them, those who've crossed may help us to grow and eventually live again in a new way.

Blessings to you and yours this holiday.