Biscuit - Ahem!  May I have your attention, please!!  That’s better.  Thank you.

I’ve called you all here because we want to explore other Biscuit Fund raising opportunities.  I hear tell that there are some rather novel ideas circulating among us and I want to bring them out in the open.  If I may, I’d like to observe that most successful fundraisers occur where there are large gatherings of people, including potential caretakers.  Now, let’s start first with short addresses from our spokesanimals.  Norman, why don’t you go first.

Norman - Well, thank you, Biscuit.  Yes, we’ve seen a lot of activity in the Biscuit Fund in recent years and we surely want that to continue so as to improve our services to hurting animals.  As many of you know, my eyes and teeth were in bad shape, so I’m quite honored to be the spokescat for the Biscuit Fund.  I must say, I should think that an afternoon tea would be just the right setting for raising funds for our friends.  Don’t you think so?

Biscuit – Thank you, Norman.  We’ll surely give it some thought.  Now let’s hear from our spokesdog.

Manuel – Why, thanks, Biscuit.  Norman, I think your idea eez a good one, but only for certain types of caretakers.  Somehow, I can’t imagine myself partaking in an afternoon tea.  I would much rather invite folks over for a piñata party.  A piñata party eez usually such a smashing success!  We need to tell people to be certain to put doggy treats in the piñata, so that the experience will be meaningful, too!

Because I was born with a genetic defect in my backbone, I may not be inclined to jump or smash the piñata, but I sure can take advantage of the benefits of someone else taking out their frustrations on the thing.  Why, I . . . .

Biscuit – Thanks.  Thanks, Manuel.  All right, who else has an idea for a fundraiser, or as it’s sometimes called, a “Fun” raiser?

Jack – Oh, I think that a slumber party would be quite a memorable event.  Since I once had a problem with my leg, I much prefer hanging loose in my pad.  You know, we could show a video of Milo and Otis, or perhaps show the entire Lassie series.  In between, we could spark some interest by showing Bugs Bunny cartoons.  We could serve salad and carrot hors d’oeuvres.  If our duck friends would be willing to make a contribution to the cause, we could all have down pillows to rest on while we enjoy the amenities!  Oh!  I’m so excited!  I can’t think that everyone wouldn’t enjoy themselves immensely!

Rasta – Pardonnez moi, s’il vous plait!  Excuse me, please!  I theenk that zat eez a wonderful idea!  I would suggest, howevair, replacing Milo and Otees weeth Lady and zee Tramp and showing Pepe Le Pew cartoons in between, eenstead.  I agree weeth Jack that duck down is so, so, how do you say?  So, exqueezeet!  Seence I was deescovaired roaming around outside een zee cold one day, you can be sure zat I weel not moof from zee sofah when zat moofie eez showing.

Frank – Ahem!  Harrumph!  Das ist nicht such a goot idea!  Why, vee all need our exercise and to elevate our sense of values!  I think dot a visit to the Vancouver Orchestra at the Opera House would be just the thing.  Maybe vee could convince the conductor to put in a goot verd for the Biscuit Fund.  I should think that they vould vant to play some Bach, Schubert or Schumann.  Yah!  Das ist a goot combination!  Even wit my broken leg, dat valk from dee sidevalk to the opera vould be a goot thing for exercise!  Yah?

Vander – You know, Frank - Ah think you’ve got something, there.  Why, just look at mah leg.  I’ll cast a vote fer yer idea, fer sher!  Ole’ redneck me needs to get culturified, anywho! 

Say!  Ah had ‘nother idea, too!  Mebbee we can follow up yer piece of culture with a hoe-down, hootenanny.  We could git Ricky Skaggs or Doyle Lawson or some other foot-stompin’ group to make a plug fer us.  Then, I’ll bet yer backside that we’ll see a lotta support from the folks who’s a knowin’ what fer!

Biscuit – Thanks, all.  You’ve come up with some good suggestions.  I’ve had Fergie the black cat write all this stuff down so we can distribute it at a later time.  We’ll bring up these good ideas at our annual meeting.

Now, one last idea from yours truly.  If some of our readers and friends of the Biscuit Fund could just send us some of their ideas, maybe we could put their idea on my blog with their picture.  They’ll get recognized and other good folks will get good ideas for helping out us good animals.

Well, thanks for coming.  See you again soon.