Countdown to Oklahoma!
60Where the Waving wheat...
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The Big Decision - Declaring War
I have a story to tell, and it is a painful one. I do not want to tell it alone. I fear the silence of separation and the noise of change.
You see, we're outta here. First of May, a new day in the Alsobrook's life, dawns early. It will bring pain. We're older now, we know reality. We're exhausted, stressed, and we've declared war. No more will we put off our life. The future depends on today, and our decision is made.
We're going home.
It will not be an easy trip, just getting ready is a nightmare. I'm beginning to develop a new phobia, the fear of cardboard. And, to make all matters worse, we are leaving 2 sons behind. At first, we were all going, like the Beverly Hillbillies, we would have made the cutest little convoy, heading West, Northwest, Oklahoma bound. But, as all decisions are wont to do, things change.
Except for us, my husband and I, we've decided we must go home. Two of our grown sons have decided to stay here, at least for awhile; no one is talking about how long that will be. What if? Don't even go there. We've always been together. Or near. Now, 1500 miles will separate us.
Over the next 2 months, we'll be packing, sorting, and leaving most possessions, two of which are our dearest, behind.
I've decided I need help. I can't make this journey alone. Oh, I have Lynn, of course, But he will be depending on my strength! You should have seen him when the 2 sons said they were staying here afterall. Such a wuss. He took up all my crying time and by the time he'd stopped, I didn't have the energy to bawl. Well, I didn't blame him, but he could have at least shared the moment.
I'm not nearly as strong as he thinks I am. I don't believe my strength will stretch far, but of course, I'll try my hardest.
I hope you will extend your hand as I reach out to you. Over the next two months, day by day or every few days, I'm going to tell the tale of leaving our jobs, moving, packing, giving up possessions, going through each scrap of paper, each little figurine, and every pair of socks, and making the decision, "keep, sell, give away, or toss?"
Giving things up is so hard; I know it sounds materialistic, which is not like me, but I find myself sitting and staring at doo-dads, thinking "keep, toss" over and over in my mind. I'm wasting time. I'm pretty low maintenance and have lost things to a home fire, so I know about giving up, I just didn't think I'd have to do it again. Do you know how much it costs to move our stuff 1500 miles? It's astronomical. Nearly the national debt, or so it seems to us, we can't do it.
The Decision - Why We're Going
Why change from a job that provides our home, and a commission and insurance? Ask yourself in this current market how long any of that will last. Now, picture yourself out of job and homeless in Florida.
It could happen, we've seen huge cuts and demands lately from corporate. And, as gorgeous as we are, and I am particularly cute, we're not getting any younger, or so the mirror says. I know, it was a shock to me, too. I can't see me aging in the land of hated humidity and sunshine.
In a nutshell? It's expensive to live here, our jobs are killing us, coroporate management in the storage industry is "the pentagon" as I have explained in a previous writing. Add the rotten economy to that mixture, you've got a big explosion, our HEART and SPIRIT.
Oddly enough, our site has reached a new milestone of accomplishments, but at what price, success? We have no life, are constantly worried, have had our wages frozen, our work increased and hours of pay cut. Inspections have become a thing to dread, our sales are monitored, and criticism is high with praise almost non-existent. Praise has little cash value, but even an emotional paycheck would be welcomed.
For six years, we've worked at the cost of no personal life, and yes, some of that is our fault. It happened gradually. Fulfilling responsibilities, "we'll work extra today" turned into weeks of sacrifice and weeks of "just this time" turned into months. We've lost the knack of spontaneity, giggling, relaxing. I feel guilty when I sleep. I cringe when the phone rings, and our days off don't exist. Sunday, I have to do the monthly close for 2 sites, and will be expected to take the time off during the week, which won't happen because they've trimmed the hours so close that there is no coverage wiggle room. An hour for lunch happens only on paper. "Protest!!" you say? "That's illegal!" Oh? And, who will buy my groceries and where will I live when I complain and lose my job? Or, be forced out as only they can. An extra inspection here, a write up there. Oh, we working poor have stories to tell, but no one is listening.
Sure, we could protest. "Next!" they'd say. Everyone is replaceable, even such as "we."
I know labor laws exist, but I have no energy to fight that battle. We take pride in reaching goals, and honestly we've made some of the bed we sleep in. It's not all their fault, but it will be our deal to end.
This month, we hit a new occupancy of 80%. Unheard of in our area and with this economy and newly constructed competition down the road. Still, we paid a huge price: no personal time, focusing mainly on business even on days off as we went out into the community to literally find customers on the street and in the neighborhoods.
Does part of this sound like your story?
It's a war.
Recently, at least 75% of our new customers have been families breaking apart, or living in cars. Middle aged man to middle aged woman have come in saying they were in the midst of a divorce. Finances or the lack of, have torn them apart. "No money, no honey."
Person after person, needing storage at a cheap price for 2 to 3 months, as they get divorced, find new housing, new jobs, or move in with mom and pop or aunt and uncle and sometimes with a friend. One couple is living in a tent in the backyard of a friend.
I'm not trying to spread the gloom, but we are faced with the reality of what going home will mean. We must be prepared to live on less, "new" is changing to "comfortable and functionable." Strangely enough, we're kind of excited about that part. Canning home-grown food, working at a job that doesn't require huge decisions from me, working on my websites, playing with and teaching my granddaughter, being with other famly members and friends, close to heaven as I can come on earth. The pain of it is we will not be near 2 of our sons.
We're in the fox hole, in this war we've declared. A war against stress, frustration, over work, and dreams delayed. We'll probably win the war, but we might lose a few battles along the way.
The next few weeks will give us grief and all its stages. I will try not to bore you, and keep it real. You'll hear the arguments, see the pain of separation from things and loved ones, and see or even taste the fear of change. Maybe together we'll learn how to cope.
We must go, our hearts know. Our grandbaby is now 3 and barely knows us. The son that's going wants to raise his daughter, and needs our help. Our extended family is there, and our roots are calling.
Then there is our health. Our level of stress makes us not eat the way we should, and Lynn's recent heart attack made us both realize that today is what we have, and we must make the most of it. All of our married life, we have raised our children, other people's children, worked at stressful jobs, climbed the corporate ladder, even fell off the ladder a few times. Success isn't as pretty as it used to be. We measure it differently now.
Our hearts are wanting simplicity, basics, slower paces, old friends and family. Comfort.
However, the price we are paying for going home, is painful; so much so, that we are weak in the knees. We are caught in the spider's web of going home, yet leaving some of home behind.
We pack and sell our possessions beginning tomorrow. Walk with me, the journey begins.
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Comments
I'm familiar with those choices and priorities. It's hard to make the right choices of what to keep. I still regret some art supplies I got rid of when I left New Orleans and no matter how many others I replace, there are still a couple of them that I don't have and do want to replace. I also miss the tin on the old set of Derwent watercolor pencils with its jolly trout painting half drawn and half painted, the fish washed and painted and the fisherman done dry.
That artwork was in itself a lesson in how to use those supplies and one of my favorites. I'll probably never find the vintage tin.
Now for some tips, since I spent most of my adult life moving two to four times a year, often out of state because that's what opened up when someone had the space to take me in. I managed to hang on to a lot more of my stuff than anyone could have expected even in those emergencies by good packing and sorting. Everything packed with stuff that was for the same activity -- art stuff here in these tubs, craft per craft, tools for this and that only with their materials. Books by what kind and size. Fiction together, cookbooks together, references by subject.
How I managed to hang onto so much when I was actually homeless and crashing on couches was that when I had any money for a move I would ship some of it by UPS to where I was going instead of putting it all in the van or whatever transportation was available. I never used movers, the cost was astronomical. Driving a U-haul might not be.
It is an adventure.
The sorting is good for one thing. In that house you've lived a long time there are things that you don't use all the time or even like, lost things you'll find as you sort it to decide what to keep and useful things. Organizing it is critical. Not just a simple yes-no Keep or Toss, but a finer sort than that.
Need this right away while unpacking and moving in.
Need this within the first few months.
Don't need to get into this for a year or more (storage stuff which could actually get shipped gradually). The same strategy those divorced people are using can work for you to keep some of your stuff that you can't afford to ship right away -- if it's well packed and organized and none of what you immediately need is in it.
You have the advantage of a big family. Maybe they can keep some of your storage boxes and tubs for you to come get them when you go back to visit. Since the two grown sons are staying, they have places to live and could put some of your stuff aside for later or gradual shipping -- if you pack it for UPS then they can send it to you a little at a time. It's this jolly thrill to get stuff you haven't seen in a long time if a friend does that.
I stored stuff with one New Orleans friend thinking I'd really never see it again and yet several years later I was able to get it back. Things I missed a lot were in that.
The upside is that you can store it by those priorities of "keep or not" and put a lot of the "maybe" stuff by priority into separate boxes so that the "ship to me" boxes have a clear priority -- most important > next important > next > least so that you get it gradually over time. This is MUCH cheaper than movers and it takes having someone you can trust on the storing-it-for-you end. It's also cheaper than replacing it if it's seasonal and you will need it -- but not for months.
Be sure to mark those shipping boxes "Seasonal -- Ship By October" or something so they know if it's the winter stuff it doesn't come to you in May or something. Either way.
I wish you luck with it. It's not as devastating as it sounds. Okay, I say that because I've been through it so many times that maybe I'm just used to it -- but once it's done it's got a great relief. It really is a fresh start, the feeling at the point of having it there to unpack is usually a good one.
You made a good condition to get out of that job. Whatever else, it sounds like you've been on bare subsistence in terms of time and energy for way too long. I know well how that trap accumulates gradually until all of a sudden there is no life and it's only the job's priorities. Of course the current recession is going to have them crank up the pressure to put up with even worse conditions.
But you can live in a better way and from what you're saying, in Oklahoma you will be able to put the time in needed to keep your expenses down by growing your own food, etc. The bad job probably costs you a lot in compensating expenses -- things you buy because they are necessary to work there, things you buy in order to de-stress from the job, maybe the number of times you eat out because those hours are so long you don't have time to cook. That one can bust a budget by itself, and the employer doesn't care. They want people in that wage-slave mode where every new abuse is only a petty thing and you're just a whiner if you object to it or tell them you have something else to do on Sunday.
Good luck with it. I will be reading this series and think you will be a lot happier once you've gone. From what you described about the job you may even have more time with your grown sons when you're out of state than in this job where you don't have any days uninterrupted by work and its priorities.
Marisue
You have made the right decision for you and you have my full support...If you need any hand holding, encouragement or anything please don't hesistate to contact me.
I think you are right. What has happened in our country has made us re-think the meaning of success...and what price we are willing to pay for it.
Your statistics of how many people are getting divorced or living in their car is so sad...We have to get our priorities straights.
I for one, want to be able to make a good living and have time for family, friends and my interests. It should not be this hard. Greed has taken over our country and I for one, for the first time, feel hopeful that we can make a change.
So...your journey begins....and you have many friends.
You are not alone.
Susan
Onward and upward, Marisue. You brought the right story to the right place. You will have tons of support here. You know we are all behind you, with you, in front of you, and any other place you think you need us. (Well, maybe any other place...;))
The only other thing I will add is that I believe you are making the right decision (and you know I think that). Hugs and kisses, many.
Hi John!!! so good to see you -- it's been a long time. You give great and wise advice that I will refer to more than once as we travel thru the next 60 days of preparation. Material things do take hold of us and even tho I consider myself not materialistic, I'm caught in the web of attachment to things. I think it's because things represent our feelings and our identity to a large degree. However, I will be strong.
=)) I do thank you, John for stopping by to read and help!! =)) very wise words, as I expect from you! and I'm taking notes on the male/female boxes, I sure don't need the multiplication of them!!! (Rabbits?)
(((((((((((MariSue)))))), it takes courage to pick up and leave everything behind to start a new life. I left NY to move to Oregon four years ago, I gave everything away to needy folks, my furniture, some of my clothes, knick knacks, even the chandelier, and only kept my books and paintings. I was thinking how far I and my immediate family are nowadays. My nephew lives in Thailand, my sis lives in Florida, and the youngest nephew passed away. However, even if I don't like living in rural Oregon and miss my friends and family (we will be moving near the ocean in about 2 years), my life is so much better nowadays, I don't regret the change I made and the doors of peace it opened for me.
Hi robertsloan2 -- a fountain of experience you have and you allowed it to flow in my direction!! I will definitely have to refer back to your tips...they are full of common sense -- I thank you immensely for your wise encouragement!! I think I am going to be getting lots of support the next few weeks....this is already making me feel better.!!! Nice to know so many of you have gone thru what we are...I do not feel so alone!!
=)) I will keep you posted, and we ARE making the right decision, in spite of how hard its going to be to make the change. A leap of faith and common sense and preparation for our future. =)
Hi Susan and boy it's good to see you on here....I hope that means you have made good strides and are on the road to health!! =)) You have been in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for your encouragement, even noticing the hardships around me has made me realize how strong so many people are. They are surviving, changing their lives, and trying to make it....we all have to do that!
Keep healing, my friend, good to see you and I'll email you about all this!! =))
Hi Sally's Trove, you know the journey I've asked for has now begun, I packed 10 boxes....and am forcing myself to look forward with hope. Thank you for being there!! and yes, look at all this encouragement I'm already feeling better!!! =)) hugs back!! love ya!!!
Hi VioletSun!! Thank you for your encouragement and sharing your own experience...so many I am seeing have given up things and made hard changes. Your comment about the peace you feel is exactly what we are seeking. I'm so glad you found yours and I have confidence we will too!!
thanks again and I appreciate all the encouragement. I will sleep more peacefully tonight! =))
Marisue,
Congrats on the brave decision you and your husband has made. In these days of stress and worry, too many of us loose sight of what is really important in life. Ourselves and our families. I learned from experienence, no matter how much you pour you heart into a job, it is not worth your sacrifice of health or family. Stress from one such corporate job lead to heart failure for me. We all need well balanced lives. Going home seems to be where your balance will start. You will survive because the love that is waiting for you there will fertilize your lives.
Keep us posted. And keep in mind a phrase I like to tell myself when I think I am at my whits end "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Hi Chef Kimberly Thank you for your encouragement. Change is hard, but sometimes necessary for peace and long life. Our country's situation causes us all to look inward and outward -- you're right! I hate parting with the other 2 sons, but I think they will come, and if not, they have a right to do what's right for them. That is hard for a parent and I see the pain our decision is causing them as well, but they also see how much we need to go. We just woke up one morning, and looked at each other and said "What are we doing@! We're not slaves, but we have become enslaved!"
We decided to do what was important and once we did, the burning desire became the fire within! We are determined to make this happen, yet know that any decision worthwhile, is often full of good and bad.
It's odd, when we are young we think if we work hard, we'll get "it" but what we get, most often is lots of wisdom, which leads us back to simplicity if we live over the experience. =)) sounds like you've been on that road, too.!!
thanks again for reading and commenting, come back soon!!
It will be a lot of work, but as you get into it it gets easier. My parents had to sell their big old house full of stuff in 2006 and even though mom is crippled, they got it done. A Korean family bought the house, and after calculating the furniture they had in their 500 sq ft apt would go in this 2000 sq foot house they bought most of mom and dad's furniture too, and they they bought all but a few of their knick knacks. You are able bodied. I'm sure you listened to your heart for this decision, and with the internet you can keep up with your sons. All the best to you.
Hi Hot Dorkage!! You've brought many things to mind. We have a web cam, and will make good use of that, email and phone will ease the separation! Aren't we lucky to have this technology!!
I've begun the mess of digging in this weekend....next hub up= "jumping into the piles, hello disorganization!" =) thanks for your encouragement -- we will have to dig up some optimism; the leaving of 2 sons will be hard, but we are truly looking forward to a different lifestyle!! Okies at heart, are we.
Your story is partly mine. Moving is something I would not want to do again--cross-country, anyway. It's overwhelming. Especially when you're doing it mostly on your own.
But here I am, and happy to be here. Happy to have made the decision.
You're going through a difficult period in your life. I'm sorry for the difficulty, pain and questions. But you'll become a better person at the other end of the journey for your struggles.
I really want to hear more of the story. I'm looking forward to the continuing saga.
And welcome to Oklahoma. It's a WONDERFUL place to live!! If they wouldn't arrest me for vandalism, I'd hang balloons and a banner on the 'Welcome' sign to help you feel a little more at home. :-))
Hi Proud Mom, we've had quite a ride in life since we left Oklahoma, which has been our home most of our life. I'm so glad to be going back, with an even deeper appreciation for that calm and friendly state. I always loved the slower pace, but when opportunities arose, while we were in our 30's and 40's, it seemed we should accept them; who knows if it was the right decision even then...but, such are the days, with not always clear paths to take.
I'll look for those balloons!!! and the story continues as we sort, trash, pack, give up, hunker down to save money like crazy the next 2 months, and then separate our family into two sections, all because we're entering that "golden years" gate and want to go home where we will stay, hopefully with a lighter load...even in this economy. thanks for reading and encouraging me!!!
Hurrah for you! What courage it must take to make such a decision. Sad that your 2 sons don't want to go. However, both of us Patricias are living where we have lived for years and our children have moved away! So staying put doesn't always work as a way to keep the kids close by.
Both of us used to have jobs that we found stressful. Now we love what we do, but don't have enough money. Which is better? I feel healthier as I am now. (Please note, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like some more money.)
So good luck - our thoughts and prays are with you.
Hi 2Pats, you covered the dilemma quite well...not having money is stressful, but you can always look for more ways to make it, then having more money, but not being happy is hard, because you can't always find the happiness when you're stuck in stress.
We've had to take a new look at old habits. Working too hard is much like walking uphill in quicksand, slow gain, and lots of pain!!!
=)) thanks for your encouragement, new hub up soon on the last few days of progress...=))
MariSue,
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand. (traditional Gaelic blessing).
I’m holding my fingers crossed for you. I moved so much that I am not scared of it any more. We are a very small family, spread all over the Globe. I live in US with my mother and my son, my girl-cousin with her family lives in Israel, my boy-cousin with his wife and a son lives in Kazakhstan, his daughter with a family lives in New Zealand. Thanks to internet we don’t feel separated, we are always in touch, talking, looking at each other while talking.
I wrote a hub about feelings of an immigrant and how to make it work. I suppose it can relate to any moving, even within a country. You may check my hub (if you have time for this now:-))
You’ve done the most hard part of it- the decision part. Now just move and “the road will rise up to you”.
There’s a Chinese saying, “a road of a thousand miles begins with a single step".
My 2 cents about packing (and I am very good at it, I make one box where others make five)- Use things you pack to pack the things. Fill all the capacities, i.e. fill the pots with smaller items. Wrap smaller dishes in cloths, napkins, towels and pack them into big pots. Fill all the vases (if you have) with little knick-knacks. Use towels, T-shirts, and the like to wrap fragile things. Wrapping in paper is a waste of paper and takes more room. When you pack the box, pack it as a puzzle, fill all the empty cracks with matching “forms”.
Good luck!
thank you!!! I'm getting lots of good ideas about packing....I love the idea of filling all the holes and containers within containers!!! Keep up the advice, I'm using it. Lots of families are spilled into all corners of the earth...thank goodness for the internet!!! I read your story and situation with interest...nice to know I'm not alone!!! =)) come back soon!!
The "professional" company that packed and moved us thought they'd fill in holes and containers, too. But they decided it was appropriate to open the plastic bins that were half-full of cereal, and place bottles of medicine inside them. Then they took the silverware, complete with steak knives and shoved each individual piece into any small opening they could find. It was a nightmare!! Definitely better to do it yourself!!!
You'll get there, and my guess will be that you will do so with grace, dignity and much joy!!!!
We are soooooo ready!! I'm already sleeping better just having made the decision. We are sad about some of it; leaving what we do know, have worked so hard at, 2 of our kids; but it's time to be where we really need to be. ever onward!!! =)) I appreciate your kind words!!
Girlfriend you KNOW I am on your side! Reading this reminded me so much of what I went through when I was trying to decide whether to leave the bank. My trip to the hospital with chest pains made the decision for me in the end. When I got back I was "in trouble" over attendance due to the attack and the days I missed from it, plus I had $2500 still to pay AFTER the insurance I thought I needed so badly, no treatment for what was hurting me, and my abusive boss was slobbering with glee over the new torment possibilites--my sales quota had gone from $100,000 a month to half a million, ugh... Leaving was traumatic. It was. Bill and his mom and other people freaked out. You can't leave a job in this economy! You have to stay! You're 55! But to me, it felt like Stay=Die wearing a headset, Leave=A Chance at a real life.
A few people did say, It's about time. Don't look back. Bill's sister was very supportive--She said, "There is NOTHING bad about losing that job."
Now Bill is being put through the same ringer. Where will it all end? I don't know, but I'm not sorry for leaving. In fact, I can't imagine working another job. I wish you all the best marisue. Moving to Michigan about half killed us, but now we are here and we have some land and a chance. I hope it all goes well for you. Hang in there!
Hi Pam, I remember u writing about it, I could tell they were eating you alive. YOU know, and when even my family members thot I should stay, blah blah, it was a paycheck, blah blah, I was at a loss for words as to what the cost of that paycheck amounted to... I work, I don't sleep, I toss and turn, then I work some more. I chunk up stress, hell my whole life has been about stress, I do know in theory how to manage it; yet I also know that some "management" of stress, is putting it behind you, literally. I've given my all, it's time to go fulfill my golden years dream while I'm young enough to put it in motion. Oklahoma won't be without it's stressors, but it's a whole other kind of stress: will the tomato plants bloom; will I pick up my granddaughter on Friday or Saturday; should I cook meatloaf or beans and cornbread; should I write on this blog or that one; should I yawn and watch tv or go out on the lawn and watch the stars; should I cash my smaller paycheck today or tomorrow. I won't have to look for reasons to smile....the Oklahoma Sunsets are fiery and gorgeous due to the red clay in the atmosphere. The silver leaf maples sparkle in the early morning light, and extended family is North, East, West and South. Fried Okra, home-canned pintos, and earthy cornbread, here I come. I'm dreamin of a creaky rockin' chair on the porch in a one horse town. Heaven on a stick. =)) thanks always!!! for your support and encouragement.
Marisue- Thanks for that wonderful fan mail. You have shown great strength and perseverance so far in life and I am sure you both will continue to be successful even in the future. Yes we all need to redefine the metrics for success as my father says "a handful of wonderful friends is the greatest treasure he has accumulated in his life". I pray and wish for you to have wonderful days ahead.
I hope this move finds you happier and healthier. Living in an area that is stressing you out and working at a job like an automaton is just not worth it. I think Oklahoma will be a great change. Okaaaaaaaalaaaaaahooma where the wind come sweeping down the plain :).
Countrywomen HI!! Thank YOU too!! I'm really looking forward to being "home" in spite of being so far from 2 sons, we'll gladly use the internet to stay in touch and not feel so far apart. I'm grateful for that technology!!
thanks always for your nice encouargement, everyone's remarks have been so helpful!! =))
HI SWP !! Yes, the stress of job/distance from the life and place we're comfortable with, no time to build friendships, it's really been long enough...we're getting ready!! thanks so much for encouraging me....how's life going for you? miss talking to you....=)) my fault, too much on my "get this done" plate!! LOL
=)) thanks for stopping by -- email me about how things are going!!
Marisue The hard part is done. The decision made. From her on it gets easier. I hate moving! I have only moved about 4 times in my entire life and stubbornly refuse to move again although my dearly beloved wants us to move to the next town (nearer some of the kids and grandkids). Please take a moment to re-read my really simple project management hub and apply those principles to the move. A simple tip: as you pack mark each box with the room it came from and even what piece of furniture or cupboard the goods came from. This makes unpacking much easier later on.
Hi Sixtyorso, what a great tip!! I will do just that, pen in hand already. =)) moving is truamatic, change is hard, even welcome change. No matter how smooth it goes, it seems we leave little pieces of us behind.
Even so, I am drawing strength from previous times, all the wonderful encouragement I am getting here, and from my parents, now gone but forever remembered.
Thanks always for your kindness and encouragement!!
I can't help you with the packing, marisuewrites, but I'm confident you'll find great satisfaction in your move back home in Oklahoma. When I moved after some 30 years in my home in Darien, Conn., we had about two truckloads of "junk" -- even after we sold lots of stuff in a tag sale. I planned to stay with my daughter in New York for a while and then with my daughter in Maine, but, after three years, I'm sill here in NY with my daughter. It just goes to show you that things often change, plans change and things usually work out for the better. As President Roosevelt said when facing the great depression, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." You'll be just fine, and the move and subsequent "new life" will be a wonderful experience (that we'll all derive great pleasure reading about.)
Hi William!!! You're right and we are mainly looking forward to it...especially once we get there. We'll pick up some old trails, old friends, and forge ahead with a few new changes....as we all know if we have gray hair, no one can "go back" completely.
We are trying to embrace change. Change=crisis, as we see in our great nation, yet, we'll survive that too!! Thanks for your encouragement, I am looking forward with anticipation to unknown things ahead...some could be quite good. Experience has taught me that some can also be quite bad. eeeek but, I am woman, hear me roar. =))
Wow,you do sound under appreciated. I can empathise after working for uncle sam. I havent only been back to Oklahoma once since I graduated from OU. If you think the costs are high where you live, you should see what it costs on the West Coast.
The firslt of my 4 kids just lost her job after l7 years with Kodak. My eldest works for the courts while one son is anticipating a lay off. He is in construction. The youngest lad is a semi driver for a dairy, still getting overtime.
I thought the world had ended when I discovered my ex had gone through my retirement gambling. Then they discovered the infection in my knee blah blah. The point is all did finally get better. I hope it gets better for you and your husband. I have a high regard for law enforcement. These guys look at death too often and with too little thanks. Good luck on your move and take care. God Bless.
Hi solar!! wow you have been thru what my dad used to call "the ringer!" Yes, our job has even gotten more stressful with each passing day...they are asking impossible things, demanding really. It's very hard, but at least we have a plan of relief.
Even tho the future is unsettled, with questions unanswered, we have the faith experience brings, in ourselves. We know we'll make it. I'm so ready!!
Hi Marisue, Sounds like you have gotten all the excellent packing advice you will need. And good luck with the move and settling into your new home in Oklahoma. Since your sons are older now, who knows where they may ultimately end up living?
We know a couple who decided to move from Minnesota to Florida to retire especially because their son and daughter-in-law lived there. Well, guess what.......the son and daughter-in-law got a job offer that had them move away. So no guarantees there!
We sold two homes ( 2 1/2 yrs ago.......my mother's and my husband's and mine ) and became a blended family. Had to get rid of loads of stuff. After it is gone, one feels lighter and more free. We regret only a couple of minor things......and those could be replaced. So my advice.......be heavy handed with ridding yourself with things on the Florida end.
I know that we will undoubtedly downsize in the future. Except for photos and artwork and a few antiques.........things are just that. Things! We can take nothing to the grave with us so why worry about hauling all of those things around while we are alive?
Hope this helps. I learned rather early on about what really matters regarding "things." My parents home was flooded with about 3 feet of water in it following a hurricane when I was still in high school. Lost so much! About the only things that we still regret losing were the photos which could not be replaced.
Hi Peggy W, your words do help and were just what I needed to hear today!! I've been hanging on to some last minute things, and I'm thinking of really being brutal and just getting rid of it. Except for photos, all can be replaced. I've cut my clothing down to the bare necessities, and gave the rest to a charity. It's going to be a lot cheaper to re-buy over time than to haul this 1800 miles with all the worry and gas expense. What if we break down?
The internet is going to be a great help to keep us connected with our other sons. They will grow up more without us near, and they will "miss" us which is a good thing, now they'll appreciate what they've always had!!
Thanks again for your heartfelt encouragement and come back soon!!
Countdown to Oklahoma! in the News
- Why each bowl could be good ... or stinkFox Sports3 days ago
Will Ohio St. vs. Oregon in the Rose Bowl be a game worth your while? CFN tells you why each bowl game can be stellar or a stinker.
- Here comes Sun?The Norman Transcript5 days ago
Oklahoma is used to the Big 12 championship game deciding its bowl destination. But this has been a different season in every sense.What happened Saturday in Arlington, Texas, won't be much of a factor where the Sooners go bowling this season.
John Chancellor says:
10 months ago
Marisue,
First I want to give you a great big hug for making the right decision. There comes a time in everyone's life when they recognize the dream they have been chasing is simply a nightmare. And making the decision to get off the "success, do more to get more treadmill" -takes courage but is absolutely the right thing to do.
Now for some practical moving advice. Make sure all your boxes are either male or female. We moved last week and unfortunately, we were unaware of this vital point. As a result we moved 264 boxes. But somewhere in the dark of the night, the boxes did what males and females are prone to do in the deep of the night. So far we have unpacked 396 boxes and by last count we only have 434 left to go. Damn boxes.
I think we all have a little pack rat in us. We accumulate way too many things that we never use but never have the courage to toss, give away or sell. The less things you have, the simpler your life, the more you will enjoy life.
You are absolutely right about the way most people live. Dennis Waitley called it "Someday Isle" as in someday I'll slow down, concentrate on what matters, put my family first, take care of my health. Unfortunately, someday I'll never seems to come or not before the grim reaper comes calling.
I think you will find a great sense of relief if you make the decision to get rid of most things. I must have donated over 100 books to the library when we moved. But to be honest, I should have given 300. For some reason we become attached to things. And attachment is the source of most of our pain. The more you can separate yourself from material things, the better you will be.
Do not worry for courage, face one day at a time and realize that day is the only day you have. Actually take it one moment at a time. Do not look back at the past nor dread the future. You have no control over either. You have control over what you do in the present. You know what to do. Trying to hold on to the past or to control the future is futile. Do not waste time or energy on things that you have no control over.
Realize that your only security lies within yourself. Take good care of yourself and everything else will be taken care of.
Keep us informed and we will keep you straight.