Couples Counseling After A Job Loss

A job loss can bring about a profound change in a relationship.  This is true if one or both members of the couple work.  The effects can be short term or long term, but either way, addressing them is important.

Seeking out couples counseling during this time of transition may not be an instinctive choice.  Some couples may feel that if they just give it time, their partner will get a new job and the anxiety, role reversal, and/or trust breakdown will go away.  Others may feel that just talking about it a little more will solve the problem.  However, if emotions are running high or if any mention of the issue is a trigger point, it can be very helpful to look outside the relationship for help.

Dealing With Role Change

One area where couples can get a lot of benefits from counseling is the issue of role change after a job loss.  This is especially true if the person who has lost their employment was the traditional breadwinner in the relationship.  Adjusting to the new state of affairs can be a delicate tango.

Having to ask a partner for money can be an awkward experience and bring out a number of issues with finances, security and trust.  Even having to accept a second place position as a wage earner can be humbling for the proud.  A professional session can help make the transition in role status smoother and ease tense moments. 

Dealing With Depression

Another factor couples may be dealing with is depression.  The partner who has lost their job may be going through quite a bit.  Many people identify very strongly with their jobs, and will feel that they are at loose ends or don’t know who they are without their employer.  This can mean that a period of confusion and depression may be launching as the new work-free identity is formed.

This can be a challenge for the other member of the pair.  If the cheerful partner who used to be up at dawn and gone for 10 hours is suddenly sleeping till noon and spending the day in a funk on the couch, it is a dramatic change.  Working with a counselor to stay supportive while not becoming an enabler of negative behaviors can help a suddenly bewildered partner cope and thrive, as well as provide a reference for when more advance treatment could be needed.

Providing A Safe Forum

One additional benefit of counseling for couples dealing with a job loss is that counseling can provide a safe forum to talk about what’s happening.  Rather than trying to work things out in the living room after a long day of work and job hunting, the counseling space provides a designated time and place to discuss feelings and behaviors.  This can help keep the environment at home safe and healthy, while still addressing the changes being experienced by the couple.