Have the BEST Schoolyear with your Highly Sensitive Child

You need some hard and fast rules that you can live by to make the schoolyear as smooth as possible for you and your sensitive child. Many of these suggestions may seem to run counter to what other parenting experts say about developing children. However, as you may have learned by now, what works for some children may actually work against your best intentions when approaching highly sensitive children. There is a completely different set of rules for our intuitive, perceptive, and deep-thinking kids. These rules are more based on feelings, emotions, connecting, listening, and empowering. Ultimately, you know your child the best so you must be the judge. Take what advice works and toss out what does not.

Whatever happens, you will have tried some new things. And who knows, your small efforts today might just make enormous marks in your sensitive child's future success. Good luck!

When Helping With Schoolwork, Be Gentle, and Subtle.

Have you noticed that sensitive kids easily feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, insulted and patronized? For best results, first ask them questions that are focused on feelings (not facts). Then offer your encouraging supplemental instruction.

When On the Playground, Say It's OK Not To Play.

Because these children are highly intuitive, they are able to sense negative moods and feelings of others. Left to their own devices they often learn to scheme and daydream their way out of social situations, even play. Offer private validation of their choice to simply observe. Your patient understanding will usually draw the sensitive child back into the fold on his or her own accord.

When Chaperoning a Child's Birthday Party, Let ‘Em Hide.

Forcing sensitive kids to go against their nature by talking to new people, making eye contact or performing, playing or dressing in front of others can be traumatic and can perpetuate social anxiety. Sometimes a birthday party can be very overwhelming for a sensitive child. Let them be shy for a short time (taking "breaks" when they need to), but check on them very regularly to know they aren't forgotten. A quick, repeated check-in of "just wanted you to know I love you" does wonders.

When Your Child Acts "Different" from Most Kids, Ask the Experts, Not the Child.

Sensitive kids don't know why they act differently from other children and asking them only asks for trouble. Save your questions for experts, or connect and share successes and frustrations with other parents and teachers who are in regular contact with sensitive children.

When Tears Flow and They Can't Say Why, See the World on their Shoulders.

Extra-sensitive kids want to save the world. When they can't they feel guilty. To ease the already guilt-ridden child, replacing esteem eroding comments like, "you're too emotional," with validating statements like "I know you have a big heart and feel things very powerfully" can re-establish trust and a sense of security with the child.

When Bad Dreams Come, Offer A Chance to Say or Write A Different Ending.

Sensitive children often have vivid, sometimes disturbing dreams. It is not clear why, but it may be because during the day they can "see the unseen" and are aware of things others would never notice. That gives them a lot to think about and process. Allowing them to mentally write a new script is a great way to listen to their fears while also empowering them.

When You Spot a Pout, Sit Still and Listen.

Learn how to recognize the surfacing of emotions before it goes too far. Take time to listen to what they have to say. Your silent presence and full attention will boost general well-being that the world is a good and safe place to live and you will find them pouting much less, if at all.

When There is Teasing At School, Help them Turn Vulnerability into Power.

Keep yourself informed about how to build a sensitive kid's courage and confidence.Sensitive kids need help turning what our culture defines as weakness into power. Shy, creative, emotional kids have a unique way of being in the world. Help your children to understand in concrete terms how their differences can turn out to be great gifts as they grow up.