Dealing with difficult and uncompromising people could be very tiresome and really frustrating: especially if you find yourself in a position that if care is not taken, you could easily loose your sanity.

It is really unfortunate that some very difficult people will want to take advantage of your being nice and amiable to pick on you at the slightest opportunity, and coping with this kind of people might be very difficult, people whose stock in trade is to create difficult scenarios, especially if they know that you have little or no choice looking at the prevailing situation at that point in time. This kind of people exists every where: in the homes, neighborhood, family both nuclear and extended and most importantly the office or job scene.

Now will you wait for these nitwits to make you bunkers before you decide on what to do? Don’t you think it is high time you make them realize that you are “no pawn in the hands of the chess player”, they can be toying with? This is the time to assert your self and deal with these very difficult people, the following will help you achieve this in style

- Now, before you start blaming every one else for being difficult to cope with; make sure it is not your attitude that is at fault. It is important you examine your self very well, because many disagreements are as a result of misunderstanding and the gap in communication that exists between you and the aggressor. By doing this, it helps make you understand the fact that we all have different ways of speaking and making a point to drive home our assertions, and the other person might not understand this: but you by examining your self will help clear the air and set a good precedence between you and the person.

- Understand the problem understanding a problem is the first step and best antidote towards solving it. Try to work out why the other person is behaving in this way, then approach the problems. Don’t wait for anger, frustrations and resentment to build up, if someone upsets you, do something about it immediately.

- Don’t complain about how much someone is annoying you without first giving the person a chance to put matters right, maybe the person could be undergoing some emotional or physical related stress, and the only person he can spill his guts on is you; not like the person deserves to use you, but then it might not be the persons fault. Show maturity by getting to the root of the matter of why such a person’s behavior is that nasty and see how you could be of help to this person: you might never know you could be the agony aunt he’s been waiting for.

- Avoid public confrontation: this is unnecessary as it gives you out in bad light; and beclouds the judgment of others as regards your personality, especially if it is you who initiated this confrontation, remember difficult people always capitalize on embarrassing situations like this to get their kick and exonerate themselves of any blame or wrong doing; making you the”bad guy” in the scenario, while in real sense the bad guy is him; so don’t help this person by starting some thing like a brawl, rather contain any situation that might end in a shouting match or even fisticuffs.

- Avoid sounding accusatory: when dealing with difficult people you need to be more diplomatic, avoid unnecessary theatrics as this is not what you need at this moment. Using accusatory phrases like “why did you do it…” “Who the hell do you think you are?” “Who gave you the effrontery to…?” these are unnecessary out bursts that should be greatly avoided; simply state what the problem is and why it concerns you. Explain how you think relations might be improved: be receptive to alternative solutions.

- Finally, you have to be more assertive to earn the respect of this person, difficult people could be very easy to deal with when you arm your self with the right amour, you can do this by reading books and taking courses on handling difficult and stubborn people and situations, but in the long run be your self, take new challenges as they come as the only obstacle in reaching for the stars is not the difficult people we have to deal with every day, but you, have a clue!!!