Last year, I was surfing the Internet when I saw an ad for Married and Looking. I was absolutely blown away. Married and looking I thought. I started reading. I wanted to know what kind of people would part take in such a relationship. So, I did a little research and I was quite surprised at the number of men and women who get involve in the these types of relationships.

So, I pretended to be one of the married and looking and I got flooded with instant messages and request for me to meet these strangers. Some of the men wrote they wanted to leave their mate, some needed someone to talk to, and some just wanted to just see what happens.

Of course, I would never go meet a strange man. But I did talk to a few men online who told me why they were married and looking. The majority of them just wanted a sexual relationship. And were really up front about just wanting sex. They had no attentions of leaving their spouses. From what I gathered, the defined term of married and looking means that the person is bored and has a need for excitement. Will they leave their mate is a big maybe. That's what most of the online guys were saying to me. I laughed about it at first. Then I realized that it really wasn't funny at all. What if that was my spouse or one of my married friends spouses on that site. Even though I was just pretending, I be liing if I said that didn't bother me a bit about these people. I joined this married dating online service just to do a little inquiring. But I got more than I bargained for. As I navigated through it, I couldn't believe how many women and men are doing it. There were more than 1000 names listed. First of all, let me say you take your chances with when you date people you don't know. You take more of a chance when you date online.You don't know who they really are for one. Or if the picture there is really that person. I mean I was faking to. Just like some ot them. I wasn't who I said I was either. But some of these people may not be so harmless. Its really like playing with a loaded gun. Your taken a chance with your life everytime you roll the barrel.

Like I said earlier, from the few men I talked to, most of the married and looking are not looking for anything more than fun and excitement and sex. But as I was continued the study, I found that most of these guys seem to be looking to fill a void that they can't fill at home. One of them, I will call him John. He said his life was depressing. He said his wife doesn't understand the daily pressures of his life. She pounces on him when he comes home. Doesn't really talk to him but more at him. Lastly, she doesn't know how to relax and enjoy sex. John stated she had to many sexual hang ups that he wanted to try . When I asked him what he was lacking he said sexual pleasure, conversation, reassurance and fun. John asked me what type of things I was into. I made some stuff up. He seemed to be a nice guy. He asked me about sex. We talked a bit. But not about sex. Just about how he was doing overall. He seemed really sad. He said he wanted me to call him and maybe we could get together. That's the last time I spoke to him of course.

Some of these guys aren't even married. I will call this person Michael. When I asked Michael how long he was married he changed it twice. I started laughing to myself because I knew this guy wasn't married. When he told me he liked dating married women because there was no commitment I laughed to myself. I said "Hello your married that means your committed !" He really didn't have a lot to say in his messages. He wanted to know all about me. Height, size, etc... He even suggested I record my voice because he was into women with sexy voices. The more he wrote the more sexually explicit he got. He wanted to meet me the same day. He kept asking me what I looked like and what was I wearing. I was quite disgusted and if he was married I felt sorry for his poor wife. I just got sick of talking to this guy. He was getting on my nerves so I just signed off.

Some of the guys say they are unhappy and have to much to lose to leave. I will call this guy Eric. I tell you Eric would be the one I feel sorry for if I did believed him. He told me his so called story. Him and his wife own 3 houses, 3 very nice cars, and he was a college professor at Morehouse University. He said he wanted a divorce but he didn't want his children to be hurt and he really just wanted someone to talk to. He was really in debt because his wife spends all his money. He was also very lonely. I asked him did he love his wife he said yes but he wasn't in love with her. He told me he had been to marriage counseling so many times that his heart ached. He told me they lived like brother and sister now. He just can't bring himself to leave his young kids. I told myself this is the stuff that the women fall for. The I'm trapped syndrome; I can't leave because of my kids. He told me he liked moonlight walks and romantic dinners. I said very nice. I was buying the his story. He was ready to meet me some place quiet.He gave me the choice of where to meet so I could feel safe. How nice.....hmmm...

Some of these guys are sexual predators and scammers. I did talked to this guy that was strange. I am a computer person so I am familar with hacking and spyware. I do it for living. Security is my speciality. That's the reason I embarked on this study. This guy makes me say all online dating of any kind is very unsafe. I will call this person Adam. He wrote very eloquently I must say. He said he was a construction worker. But there was no way I beleive that. The background was to quite and he did tell me was at work. (Chances are he was at home.) He asked a lot of questions about me but limited what information he gave me about himself. He asked about my likes and dislikes. He mentioned he liked romantics walks in the moonlight like everyone else. He liked to wine in dine a woman. All the believable stuff. He asked me about what things attracted me to a man. He said I was I fiery and wild by the way I wrote. I am thinking why would he think that. I never wrote anything fiery or sexy. He said he liked women who were fisty. He asked me where I was from and I made up something. I asked him about his hobbies. He said he like to paint and fish. I am a fisherman too, I dabble a bit so I asked him about fishing. He didn't seem to have a clue about types of bait or best areas to fish which of course is unusual. Then I got this email while I was chatting with him. The email address said " Enter IP address to win a free computer". " That's silly" I thought. Then I saw his username on the email. I said to myself "This guy must think I'm stupid... I would never give out my IP address to my PC because anyone can find your PC and get into it. For those who are not computer savvy if someone gets your IP address they can get into your computer and find out where you are in the network. And I am sure dating sites do not send emails with his user name to tell someone how they can win a computer. Of course, I reported him. He wasn't a very smart scammer. At least not to me. The funny thing is, what if he was smart. What if actually got into my computer. There are plenty of ways to get into a PC. I ought to know. This what I do. That guy could of turned up at my front door. He was the only one I chatted with who never mentioned wanting to hook up with me. But he implied it more than once. He never talked about the so called wife like most of the guys. Well we will let the police take care of that person. I was very freaked by this...

In my inquring, I never thought I would catch a scammer or whatever he or she was planning. I also didn't expect so many people to be married and looking. Honestly, its better to meet people through an acquaintance rather than Internet. I would suggest that you be single. I want to make this clear; I don't judge people; we all have to answer for what we do sooner or later. The married and looking crowd have their reasons for why they do what they do. I don't believe you will find any relationship material in anyone that is married already. But I could be wrong. Just not my cup of tea. If your looking to meet your soul mate, I think maybe married and looking is a bad idea.Whatever the reason they do it, is its all based on deception which says enough right there. I think if you do the married and looking your bound to find something. Trouble.