Daily Weird #11 (The Mankini. Please dear God bring back the Speedo)

I said “large men in Speedo’s offend me”. They don’t. Not any more. Now I long to see big men in Speedo’s, I dream of the day when the only picture in my head is a fat old guy in a Speedo. I dream of this, because the image in my head is of a guy in a Mankini. I’ve watched Michael Moore degrade the rich and scoff at the obese while shoving fried chicken down his 400 pound gullet in the back of his stretch limo, scrubbed my brain with Sponge Bob the 5^th Season, and even made myself look at sumo wrestlers for hours at a time. Nothing. My brain still sees the guy in the Mankini.

In 2006 some actor I’ve never heard of donned this Mankini thing that I wish I’d never heard of, and the masses decided that if some guy on a big screen wore it, it must be fashionable. They were wrong! Being wrong has rarely stopped anyone.

I’m sure the beaches in Europe are crawling with these things, but I swear to God and the Fruit Loops bird, if I ever see them start to encroach on our beaches I will hold a protest sign while puking my guts out until they leave, or I run out of burrito ammunition and begin to dry heave-whichever comes first.

On the upside, this would make a great gag-gift for the man you love…. or a real gift for the man you hate, If your ex is dumb enough to wear this to pick up chics, it really would be a Christmas gift for you.

There are some links below, one to talk more about this atrocity and one to give you more pictures of a variety of this sexy garment. For those of you who just can’t get enough, the last link is a hubpage on how to buy a man-bra. I’m thinking the guys out there who aren’t comfortable wearing just a Mankini may want to purchase a man-bra to help them feel less exposed on the beach.