5 Signs He's Good In Bed
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So we’ve discussed the five signs he’s going to be crap in bed, and today we’re going to discuss five signs that should indicate he’ll be pretty good. Now, obviously these aren’t guaranteed; if I were always correct at predicting this sort of thing, I’d own fewer toys. All the same, they are pretty reliable in most cases, particularly if you find all of them in one man.
He isn’t afraid to hold your gaze.
This guy is into you, and he’s not afraid to show it. The more he focuses on you, the more intent he is, and the more likely he’ll be interested in proving just how into you he really is. Mind, this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a great guy, or even a good one – in reality, these types are usually players. Nevertheless, they are usually very, very good in bed.
He’s a good kisser.
Good kisser, meaning, someone who doesn’t just shove their tongue in your mouth and expect you to do something with it. Nuh-uh. This guy takes his time, and uses more lip than he does tongue – and when the kiss ends, you aren't covered from chin to forehead in his saliva.
He’s good at talking dirty.
Most men don’t even attempt this, and those who do often sound silly. But the men who know they’re good in bed are usually very good at telling you what they plan on doing later. If he’s able to convey sexy things to you without sounding silly, he’s probably worth the time. It's worth noting this guy's probably been around the block a few thousand times as well, so make sure he suits up.
He’s tactile.
He wants to hold your hand, slide his arm around your waist (not your shoulders, this is something men do with their mates, not their women), play with your hair, touch your face. Especially when you are kissing. These are good indications he's fabulous in bed. Unless he's groping, in which case he's probably not.
He’s a good listener.
He listens. Even if you’re talking about something he really doesn’t give a toss about. That’s not to say he pretends – he listens because he gives a toss about you. If he doesn’t care about anything you have to say, he’s not going to care about anything you want, either. A man who listens to your words will also notice those unspoken nuances as well, which are very necessary when rolling around on a king-sized mattress.
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Comments
I'm glad I'm too old for hunting. This is way too complicated.
Great HUB again Isabella.
regards Zsuzsy
I especially like the last one 'being a good listener'. Important if you consider that I always 'made up' with men that did not speak my first language. And they were good ;-)... I wonder if they understood what I was saying at the time?
Great hub. Especially since I've been told, or I know I meet all of the above. Very reassuring. Yes!
Princessa, men, like women, understand all the important things.
I know how effective this talking dirty is, men. You don't even have to talk dirty dirty; you only need to voice your fantasy about her.
Great tips, Isabella, thanks!
Sorry, what were you saying? I just noticed something go past the window.
Oh yes, that kissing thing. Why do you like it again? Is it romantic?
Don't say things like that, only naughty girls say those words and stop keep touching me there and where did you say you wanted to go?
Guilty as charged.(and I also scoff my food)
...but I didn't want to sleep with you anyway.
Excellent hub, Isa. Listening I can do, talking -not so much.
Whitney - Yes, *always* the little things!
Zuz - LOL. Wish I could say that. ;)
Princessa - The language of love, baby! ;))
Adventure - Ah, that must be you in the photo, then. ;)
Kenny - Where have you been?? And you are right! You don't have be very dirty at all. ;)
About the home - Err, who said you'd have been allowed to, anyway?
Fret - Thanks! You write fine, I'm sure you talk fine, too. Is it really still impossible for you to see my blog?? Damned US government!
I still can't get it -I've lost a few others but got some of them back. Go figure.
Well that sucks. Tell them to let you!
At my age a bit of dirty talk is very stimulating...the expectations are worth the wait :O) sometimes....Good hub sweetie you always wake me up...G-Ma :O) hugs
As a man I have to agree with you Isabella, we have to be receptive to the woman's needs and her feelings, I think it is more important to make your partner happy, if she is than you are.
I totally agree,
In my world I treat women as the Queen.
And in return I get treated like a King.
I love an interesting woman to listen to becuause then I can forfill her needs making us both feel really alive.
Best Wishes,
Tom
GMa - LOL!! Hugs to you too!
Singpec - Im glad to hear that. :)
Tom - Good for you, spread that around some. ;)
Looks like I am perfect in the eyes of women!!!
I loved reading this. It was very eye-opening. ;) Though, like you said, men who have achieved that level of confidence have probably been around more than enough. :P
Like your hub Isabella and must agree to every word that you said. However, the comments in your another hub "Signs-Shes-Faking-It" really worries me. I have the faintest idea how much emphasize do women put in this thing "sex". But it seems like, man get drop if they're not good in bed?
Well, isn't that just part of a relationship? Will woman actually abandon a good guy just because he can't perform in bed?
If I do not want to cheat on my gf, is there anyway to improve such skill? Well, this sound stupid..but hmm..I need to be loyal to her as I love her so much.
Patrick, what makes you think you have to cheat on your gf to become more skilled in bed? Just spend more time pleasing her. Ask her what she likes. If she is too shy then buy all the books on foreplay you can find and actually read them and put them to use! :)
Thanks shesagogetter! I'm doing it, but she has never initiated to have it and so, I feel like I'm not doing good enough. Or perhaps, some skill cannot be learnt through reading? Hm....My friends say, it's experience that build up and cannot be achieved without practise. So, they like to play around. But that's just not me. ?? Is there really some problems with me?
Great hub! I admit that I usually feel stupid trying "dirty talk", but I also think it is worth it to make the effort.
Patrick Louis,
As a man who has been in the same situation as you (I suspect that we all have, actually), I have a couple of pieces of advice:
1. The internet is your friend. Read, read, and read some more about how to please a woman in bed. There's LOTS of advice out there. Some is not very good, but most of it is. Our gracious hostess has written some herself. Give it a read. I would even suggest reading some well-written erotica to give you some other ideas.
2. Your fingers and your tongue are your best weapons. Work on your skills with them and, unless your GF is some sort of freak (or simply isn't into you), you'll quickly start rocking her world. Oh, and make damned sure that your fingernails are closely trimmed; I've found out the hard way that even slightly long nails are B-A-D.
3. Pay VERY close attention to her, in bed and out. If you demonstrate that you're really into her OUT of bed, you'll make her more relaxed IN bed. Treat her right all the time and make her feel like she's the greatest woman in the world even when you're just having dinner or walking around the mall, and you'll find that she's more comfortable and easier to please in the bedroom. See Isabella's tips above. Oh, as a VERY good bonus, she'll be a lot more interested in rocking YOUR world.
In bed, tune in to the sounds she makes and how her body reacts when you're doing different things. Yes, woman can and do fake it (and this is sort of a compliment if she does because she wants YOU to think you're doing a good job), but there are some things they CAN'T fake. When you find something you think she really likes, keep doing it! Variety is the spice of life, but not when it comes to pushing her over the edge.
Most importantly, talk to her. Make it clear that you want to rock her world but don't know all the things she likes. It may well be that SHE doesn't really know if she's not very experienced herself. If so, then you two will have a blast learning together what she likes. It may also be that she's embarrassed to be explicit. That's where dirty talking comes in: describe to her what you plan to do to take her to Happy Town and see if she looks / sounds excited by the prospect. Even if she isn't, a little planning should get her to loosen up and tell you more about what you need to do.
But for pity's sake, get the idea of cheating right out of your mind! Quite aside from the fact that it's just a dirty thing to do, you're a dead man if she finds out! Further, let's say you make it with another chick in an honest effort to improve your bedroom skills. You MAY find that what please Jane won't do it for Joan, and you're back to square one.
Anyway, good luck, dude! Have fun.
What an excellent comment docjim505! Thank you. I'll follow closely.
Wow, Isabella, love this hub. I haven't been around for awhile. Sorry about that. But back to this good in bed business, I agree with all that you said.
I never understood why women sleep with bad kissers. If he can't master the art of kissing, why would he be any good at the more advanced levels of the game?
Also, I would add that, in my experience, a great dancer = a great sex partner. If he can shake that thing on the dance floor without looking goofy, go for it. And if he makes you melt when you slow dance with him, it's a sure thing.
Bug - LOL!
Brandy - Yes, thats the problem. ;)
Patrick - Thats a complex question and Ill try to answer it in a future hub!
Shesagogetter - Ah, but those books are only as good as the people writing them. ;)
Doc - Thanks! And good tips!
Angela - Thanks! And yes, bad kissing usually means bad other things, lol. ;)
Doc...boy you know what you're doing...G-Ma "o) hugs
So, in one sense this is not surprising at all, because it sounds like you're turned on by an attentive, intuitive man who is making love with his whole body (brain included) instead of his dick only.
It's been my experience that men who have been in long term relationships are better in bed than the perpectual bachelor. He's had more sex, and he's had to learn how to please his partner. Nuf said.
now I really feel awful...
The men that have been the best in bed were good kissers and attentive listeners, good communicators, affectionate, and attentive to little things like opening doors, being protective and things. My ex-husband was the worst lover I ever had. He was a very bad kisser . . . he never kissed with his tongue and he kissed like a 3 yr old. He would only opened doors for himself. He also rarely communicated and tried to seem like he was listening, but he was usually tuning me out. He only ever groped me disrespectfully and was never tactile. He was also never protective and when the front doorbell would ring, he would hide and let me deal with it.
i agree with debbied that long term relationships make a man better in bed. however, from woman to woman, the man may have to change his habits considerably, as she may not like what the other woman was receiving from him.
Great hub, and that picture is hilarious!
Whitney05 says:
17 months ago
Things to consider. Ha. It's always the little clues that tell you big things. huh?