So chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just sleeping a little bit. It is still important to be chivalrous but with a modern update. Women today want to be equal with men in all fields. So it is important to be polite without undermining a woman’s independence.

Kenelm Henry Digby defines chivalry by stating that "Chivalry is only a name for that general spirit or state of mind which disposes men to heroic actions, and keeps them conversant with all that is beautiful and sublime in the intellectual and moral world." So basically it is being a good man without being a jerk. I think this is an extremely accurate definition. 

Everything is of course up to the woman when discussing what is appropriate. Some have to do with politeness, some with dating tips. The following list is just what I have observed from being a waitress, being on dates myself, and having male friends who wonder where they screwed up.

1) Open the door. Car door is up to you. Door to the restaurant, movie theatre, etc. Is a must!

2) Pay on the first date. After that, it depends on the couple. If the couple has been together for a while and are comfortable with switching off every time, I think that is pretty fair. “You paid for lunch yesterday, I’ll cover dinner tonight.”

3) Step up and pick a part of the date, but leave an option for her to add on. “So let’s say Cabana at 8:00, and you can pick the movie after.”

4) Be creative. A unique date is always more memorable. Therefore you’ll be more memorable. A museum, a concert, sporting event (yes some chicks like sports),  planetarium, beach, etc.

5) Don’t ask for a hug or a kiss! If she wants to, she will. Or if you’re feelin’ it then go for it. But please don’t ask.

6) Don’t talk too much about yourself. Off limits: ex-girlfriends/wives, religion, politics, anything controversial. Good ideas: music, movies, books, food, travel, neutral zones.

7) No bragging! Don’t name drop, brag about money, talk about how many hours you were in the gym yesterday, blah blah blah. I think I just heard a woman scream! Bragging shows insecurity, not security.

8) Put your phone on silent! Do not answer your phone unless it is important. Also take the bluetooth out of your ear, you look like a damn Star Trek character. Do not play on your I-phone, or even pull it out of your pocket to text/check your e-mail/ check the score of the game. It is sooo rude and just says “I’m bored” to whoever you’re with.

9) Give compliments. Usually a few a night is sufficient. Don’t go overboard! “You look great tonight” is always cute. A lot of compliments tend to get creepy and like you’re trying to hard.

10) Ordering for a woman is kinda old school. If she suggests it, then of course it is ok. We can make up our minds and speak for ourselves. Also try to ask before the server gets there if she feels like an appetizer/dessert. It is rude for when the server asks for you to answer for the both of you.

11) Don’t drink too much. Being wasted is such a turn off. Respect her decision to not drink if she decides to do so. Don’t order a drink for her.

12) Follow-up. Games are for kids. Call her the next day for a quick “Last night I had a great time would you like to go to dinner Saturday?” If she finds a way to avoid future plans, she might not be that into you. Don’t stalk her. Move on.

13) Don’t be a liar! If you don’t like her very much, don’t see a future, can’t stand the girl… don’t lead her on. Find an honest and polite way to break the news. The earlier the better.

1) KEEP DATING!! Sure you’re comfortable where you are, you probably know more about the person than you ever wanted to, you’re both busy, whatever you’re excuse… KEEP DATING!! Even if it is once every couple of weeks, I guess whenever you can schedule it, you have to date. Going on dates allows you to be the couple you started as. You should be married to and also “dating” your wife your entire marriage.

2) Be random and spontaneous. Flowers for no reason always make a girl smile. They don’t have to be expensive, just one rose, or whatever looks pretty at the supermarket.

3) Chores are foreplay. I’m sorry but it is true. If she made dinner and you help her clean up, she appreciates it more than you know. Just asking “Can I help you with anything?” means so much! A woman keeps little tally marks in her head throughout the day.

4) Just because you’ve known each other for so long doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be boundries. Guys… you know what I’m sayin’. Wipe the smirk off your face from the gas you just passed.

5) Don’t ever raise your voice. That is such a sign of disrepect. Just because you’re relationship didn’t start this way doesn’t mean it can’t turn into it. Just don’t ever start.

6) Appreciate her. And let her know it!

I’m not even going to touch sex. That’ll be for another Hub.