5 Signs He's Married
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In the age of internet dating, it’s amazingly easy to date a married person without realizing it. It’s especially easy if you’re having a long distance romance. I suppose women are guilty of this kind of crap as well, but, let’s face it – it’s mostly men doing it. So today we’re going to look at 5 basic signs that will clue you in on his being married.
Notice I'm not even going to bother with the most obvious one, which would be "You've never been to his house". This is more for women who haven't had the opportunity, whether due to long distance dating or other factors, which makes not having been there yet seem reasonable thus far. Right, here we go:
You only have a cell phone number for him.
Well, yeah – he’s married, not stupid. He knows you’re eventually going to get a whiff of that wedding band, and when you do, he doesn’t want you calling his house in the middle of the night. His seven kids have school in the morning, and the wife looks crap when she doesn’t get a proper night's sleep. Girlfriend, if you don’t have a landline number for him, he’s hiding something (Exception: He's single, but thinks you have stalker potential.)
He puts the toilet seat down and buses his own dishes.
This guy’s trained, and he’s probably married. No, divorced doesn’t count. When they get divorced they revert to their slovenly ways immediately. And usually get worse. If he’s conditioned to do this, someone made him this way. It was either his wife, or his mother – and the latter is even worse. (Exception: He’s anal retentive – be afraid.)
He’s incredibly randy, all of the time.
Married men looking to cheat are usually doing so cos they never get the goods at home. This guy is obsessed with all things kinky, and wants you to do all manner of kinky things to him. Um, things his wife would never do. He’s ready to go the moment he sees you, and ready to go again immediately thereafter (Exception: You’re dating a 19 year old – go on with your bad self.)
He wears tighty whities.
Married men don’t care about underwear, cos their wives go out of their way not to look. Single men care and will likely be wearing something other than tighty whities. The married man will wish he was wearing something sexy, but knows he can't – if the wife caught him in a leopard banana hammock he’d be in court by the end of the week. (Exception: You're dating Robbie Williams, and I hate you for it.)
He pays for everything in cash.
You can figure this one out, right? Credit card statements are easily accessible to the wife. She’d probably get a little upset if she saw “honeymoon suite at the Ritz” show up on there. That’s why he’s gotta be smooth and pay in cash. (Exception: He has horrible credit.)
Obviously some of these can apply to single blokes. However, if you see all 5 with one guy…you'd better check that ring finger one more time, cos the man probably has a wife!
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Comments
Shame on you, Misha! I hope someone spanked you!
BDSM? I'm not into it :D
Spanking is so vanilla.... but I didn't mean it that way, anyway. You should be ashamed of yourself. Typical Slavic male, it's precisely why I don't date any! ;)
You should try. You might like it ;) And you'll get a fresh story for the next book. Or for the next song :)
ahem yees. good hub not convinced about the underwear though...really?
Misha - Russians and Poles, maybe.. no Czechs, they're too skinny for my taste. ;)
Stubbs - Well, you clearly haven't read my guide on men's underwear!!! ;)
Nice hub,great advice. This is really helpfull to many single ladies.
Thank you Cristina! :)
Great signs to watch out for. Maybe I'll send this to some friends!
I love your 'exceptions!' Now you should write about how men admit they are married but use the 'my wife doesn't understand me' and 'you are the one' trick.
Surely nobody buys the "my wife doesn't understand me" routine any more? Unfortunately, my wife understands me all too well.
Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. And No. Everything but the tighty whiteys was dead on. Some married guys care about their undies. Another classic hub.
Just don't make a list of tips to find out if SHE is married ... or I will be in DEEP trouble!
Certainly entertaining-- especially your exceptions.
Clearly, I "must be" married, as four of the five apply to me... even though I haven't been, since 1996.
LMAO! Excellent hub. What I find even more intriguing is how (single or married) women knowingly date married men, maybe its just the married blokes I know, but I've seen one too many school teachers dating their students' dads :D
It's true. I was in a relationship with someone, never been to his house, he said he didn't use credit cards and never gave me a house number...turned out he was. Please don't be blind. Take this reading into good consideration
it scares me how many signs my guy has.. i guess time will tell if your right













Misha says:
9 months ago
I was dating my second wife being still married to the first one :D