A lot of people would think you’d talk about appearance first off – after all, it’s the first thing you see, your first impression, first everything starts at the skin.

I hope you’re not one of them anymore.

As you probably remember, much more important (and equally instantaneous) is body language. If you’re ugly as sin’s deformed sister you can still overcome that with the way you carry yourself.

However, having said all that, appearance does still count for something. Not much – there’s a good reason it’s at the back of the book – but definitely something. It can mean the difference between almost and alright, between a first glance and a double take, between “umm… ok” and “Yes, yes, oh god yes!”

Luckily, looking good doesn’t mean looking like Johnny Depp – not that it won’t help, but it’s also overkill.

So what DO you need?

First, be clean. We’ve talked about this before, but as it’s the most important thing, it bears repeating. Women have better noses than men; most people can’t even whiff themselves since they’re accustomed to their own smell; result: most men stink when smelled by most women.

So, find yourself a good deodorant. Experiment a bit: I tend to steer clear of anti-perspirants since they’ll end up staining your shirts yellow, whether you sweat or not. I’m a fan of the crystals, as they do the same thing without the stains (though you’ll need to give it a few weeks to be effective). If you want a pleasant smell, a spray-on body deodorant is a good choice.

Brush and floss like a madman. What your mom taught you, yeah, that’ll keep your teeth healthy – but it’s not going to give you fresh breath. MOST of the smell that emanates from your mouth resides on your tongue and the roof, so brush them just as hard as the rest of your mouth – and cover every inch. It’ll take a little more time, but PLENTY have women have liked a guy, but just couldn’t bring themselves to kiss a mouth that smelled like… THAT.

Don’t smell like that.

If you smoke, quit. Hehe, easy say easy do, right? Listen, I know it can be tough – but A LOT of women will just write off all smokers. Not to mention it’ll ruin all the brushing you do, stain your teeth, age your skin, and stink up your fingers. Not every woman will care – but are you ready to say goodbye to all the women who will?

Besides, in my experience the possibility of a painful death in 30 years isn’t as motivating as the possibility of a lonely night tonight. Just quit.

Exercise. You don’t need to be buff enough to grate cheese on your stomach, but just be in decent shape. In fact, most women go for a nice solid average more than the fat, the skinny, or the muscle-bound. Lean is nice, hard is nice, but a simple healthy is enough.

Eat often. By which I mean, if possible, five times a day. Yep. Five. This whole three meals thing, it’s a product of the industrial age and the switch to factory schedules. Much MUCH better to eat smaller meals often. Why?

The less often you eat, the more likely your honed-since-the-stone-age body will think food is scarce – meaning it’ll store as much as possible in the form of fat for later. Eat often, and the body thinks it’s got plenty – so no fat. Even if you eat more over those five meals than you would in three, you’ll still come out ahead.

Don’t eat before you sleep either – at least two hours before. Now, if you’re a skinny guy – reverse everything I just said. Sumo wrestlers eat two huge meals a day, and take a nap right after. If you can’t put on weight no matter how much you eat, try it.

And you don’t need me to tell you to watch what you eat. Veggies, good. McDonald’s, bad. ‘Nuff said.

What else is important? Smile! You don’t need to have sparkling white teeth – a simple smile is enough to improve any appearance.

Finally, style. If in doubt, dress up. If everyone else is in t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers, and you’re in slacks, a nice shirt, and loafers, you stand out. In a good way.

Crisp is good. Lose the sneakers – women tell a lot about a man by his shoe, and sneakers say ‘kid.’ Now, if you’re wearing some dress shoes, it says class. If there’s a hint of money in your clothes, all the better. Again, not that money is a deciding factor – many of the most successful seducers I know are broke. But, it can’t hurt.

Really, it’s all very basic. Take care of yourself, look after your body and treat it with the respect it deserves, and women will respond to that act more than the body itself. THAT’S what you’re really communicating – a way of being, not of looking.