5 Signs She's Not Into You
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I've already written an article listing 5 ways to tell if she's into you -- today we're going to discuss 5 ways to tell when she isn't. As a female, these examples seem pretty simple and obvious to me, but I know from experience they often aren't.
If you dig a woman who’s behaving in the following ways, the whole pursuit is probably not worth your time. Yes, women like to be chased, but only by men they’re actually interested in. This article is for men who already know the woman – this not for someone you’ve just met online and haven’t seen face to face; that’s a whole other situation. This is for someone you’ve actually met.
She never asks you to go into detail.
Ok, let me be more specific – she never asks you to go into the details as they pertain to you, personally. In other words, she doesn’t want to know anything about you. If she’s a colleague and passes your desk with a “how was your weekend?” - this means nothing if she doesn’t actually stop and wait for the answer. Consider anything a less common courtesy and do not take that as a sign of serious interest. Additionally, if she’s never actually asked you a question she didn’t need to ask (something about work, for example) that’s a good sign she’s not interested in you being more than a colleague.
She takes forever to get back to you.
Even a brain surgeon can make time to sms someone. If the woman you lust after takes a day or two to get back to you, she’s probably not that into you. Don’t get me wrong, she might be as busy as she says she is. Many women are. But if a woman likes a man, she will make time for him, no matter what.
She never lets you do her any favors – or she repays them immediately.
This is a sign she knows you’re into her, and she doesn’t want to feel indebted or obligated to you. Why? Cos that could make her feel like she owes you something. So if you buy her a cup of coffee one morning, and find the favor returned before the end of the day, she’s probably clued into your feelings. Most sane women love it when a man they’re into does something for them. If the object of your affections does not, she’s either not interested, or she’s a femnazi. Either way, it’s probably time to move on.
She likes to keep a foot or more of space between you.
Ok – in very rare cases, this can mean a woman is so attracted to you, she doesn’t trust herself to get any closer. Please realize this usually only happens in romance novels. If she does everything in her power to keep some distance between the two of you, this is a good indication she’s not into you, and doesn’t want to give you the idea she might be.
She never makes eye contact for more than a few seconds.
Again, in very rare cases, this could mean she’s really, really into you. In fact, I tend to get this way myself if I’m really attracted to someone. However, that’s a rarity, and 98% of the time, if I’m not making eye contact, it’s cos I want the person in question to go away. If she’s not looking at you, there’s a reason. And if she’s not giving you other signals to indicate she’s interested – she’s probably not. So there you are – 5 signs she’s not interested. As I mentioned, sometimes these can mean she actually is interested, but I really wouldn’t count on it unless you see evidence to support that notion.
xx Isabella
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Thank you! :)
More good advice. I hope you're collecting all these things for a book. I often say that whoever can write a book that will explain what goes on between a woman's ears so that we long-suffering men can understand them will make a mint!
More good advice...
One bit of feedback, concerning item four. Some women have a LARGE personal space-- they may be "into" someone, but are very uncomfortable with physical proximity, for any number of reasons from unresolved childhood issues to general discomfort around men. Of course, one could ask oneself if it's "worth the work" to be with someone like that. All a matter of personal preference, I suppose.
Doc - They're collected right here! ;)
DG - Even the women you are talking about are included in number 4. If they meet the right person the personal space issue goes away. Physcial contact may still be an issue, but the personal space gap is gone.
Hey, Isabella, I do these things, too! Does that make me a woman? Not that I mind, actually! :)
Well how about when men act these ways...??I guess it means i'm a man?? or they are foolish ??yeah that's it. don't know a good thing when they see it..feel it or have it.. ? oh well Some are dumb..some are numb..some just want to....it rhymes..ha ha ha Well it is late and i am babbling again...sweet dreams and sleep tight...God Bless you and keep you safe...G-Ma :O) I need my beauty sleep now...yawnnnnn
Kenny - LOL, no, of course not.;)
G-Ma - Yep, foolish might be the word for them, G-Ma. ;)
Your exactly right Isabella, Like kenny said I do those same things so that they don't get the wrong impression. If you do the opposite then your headed for trouble!
Great Hub
Great hub Your going to turnme into the Date Master
I LOVE U
Good tips issabela. I used to have this situation before..
Nice work girl! You are not only an amazing writer and singer (y, did watch the video) but very attractive as well. Not your looks, but the way you talk and all that you know. Maybe we should put a Hubbers get together party someday lol.
No wonder. LOL! i love your hubs! informative, eye opener, reality check..HELLO!!! LOL!
Just wondering about the "space"-point; I had an experience where the woman I was talking to seemed to do "everything in her power" to create closeness at first, but then a few moments later she would do the exact opposite, seating herself away from me. Which I found kind of weird, as I can't figure out what caused it for the life of me... LOL. Could she have simply been testing me? What do you think?
How about ome more:
-she doesn't do for you what she did for other boyfriends (sexual or considerate things) - soon a you hear that, get out immediately out of self-respect!-she forgets your birthday-she gets you a shirt for your birthday-she wants to only take the vacation she wants - when and where-she enjoys your pleasuring her all night, and she never return the favor...Believe it or not, I had one girlfriend who did all of the above...while telling me over and over (and her friends!) how much she loved me and wanted to marry me! And she was so upset and wondered why I didn't want to be with her and distanced myself from her. She asked her brother why I would do that! Bottom line, she was either totally f'd up - or, really, she just wasn't that into me.
haha pretty much. what does it mean when they make like they aren't interested but know your every move. no i agree if she is into you she will make time, find a way to contact you. go by your home. yes i agree. but on the other hand they may take advantage of the opportunity and use you. would be really nice to be up front and honest. me i need to be told direct even if it hurts. its better to hurt me cause the lie hurts more.
Great advice. These are the sorts of signs we know really but we just don't want to face up to them. Great to be reminded, Thanks.
You contradicted almost every point you made...
I believe that people can tell if someone is not interested in them but they are oftentimes in denial and they feel like they can change the other person's mind. You have laid out some clear signs that will let the pursuer know that "hey, I am not interested in you"
thanks
The big problem with most men is that they cannot take a HINT that you are not into them.
Most women do not want to be nasty and mean and tell you right out that you make their skin crawl every time you come near, so they do the 5 things in Isabella's hub.
And, just in case you are wondering...if a woman is not all that into you, there is probably little you can do to get her interested. Sometimes things just do not click, accept it and move on. There is someone out there who is right for you and will make you happy. You just have to keep searching.
Another excellent hub Isabella, I find myself agreeing with your insights.
great and useful article.Could be a great help on dating.
Hey Isabella and guys
I got a question and I know this is going to be a bit long but I kinda want some advice. I met this girl in college and it turns out we're in the same class. She's kinda cute and hot and it's been over a year now that we're in college.
Anyways, I got the stomach to ask her out and stuff and she said no problem but she says she's kinda busy. But here's the thing, I know how to take a hint if she ain't bothered but she asked me stuff like is it okay and she does insist that she works on weekends and isn't really free on weekdays. So she's kinda delaying this...
I was kinda prepared to give up but then recently when she met with some of my friends who were talking about me, she went kinda excited and asked a lot of stuff about me. I wasn't there of course though
I tried calling her but she doesn't pick up. She says that she doesn't like talking over the phone and all so she asked me to text her instead but she doesn't really reply and all. Oddly, she entertains me over MSN and I was thinking that she would have blocked me if she wasn't interested.
When we talk, she does look me in the eye for the most of the conversation and her replies are more than just a few words. She looks genuine but I'm just not sure...
I'm lost. She's sending a lot of mixed signals to me and I really don't know whether I should just move on or not... HELP!!!
Am I supposed to be worried if ANY of these indicators are lighting up? What if it's just 1? How can I be sure?
I'm kinda stuck right now because I'm getting mixed signals from her.
I saw her looked down when I sat with another girl (when he first met), She asked for the classes I'm taking... Then something happened in between and I ended up being boosted to another course (I wasn't allowed to take the same course with her).
Then... ever since I don't see her every day, she takes ages to reply to my emails. I've managed to get over that one foot barrier so I can sit next to her no problem and she makes eye contact with me for more than 2 seconds. But then... she would ask me to go into detail about some of the things I've done over the summer but not get so interested to a point where she'd ask about my past or my background.
What does this mean?? Do I still have a chance?
Ageless stuff, gooroo... Meant and said with the highest esteem...
well ... m preety confused about one thing .. derez a girl .. she said she likes me .. misses me .. and da best she cud have .. juz coz ov sum parents issue she stay away .. she tried to move on .. had 2 bfs .. break up wid dem .. coz ov sum shit dey dun .. and den .. came back saying .. " i need you .. your not my friend , your not my lover .. but your someone i need .. coz your the only one who can understand me " .. Note : in previous time she break up wid me and acted a way just to make me hate her .. and i dont hate her .. coz i alwayz get why shes doing it ..now please damn i so love her .. and shez like killing me evryone moment .. she again gone to her x number 2 .. and she said ..she love him and hes da only person she ever loved after her previous x number 1 wich before me ..and x number three was a player so she left him .. and she was never sure if i even am included in any x .. lolz (alot at myself) .. i donno whats up wid her .. any idea ..i need a quick reply ..thxx
well ... m preety confused about one thing .. derez a girl .. she said she likes me .. misses me .. and da best she cud have .. juz coz ov sum parents issue she stay away .. she tried to move on .. had 2 bfs .. break up wid dem .. coz ov sum shit dey dun .. and den .. came back saying .. " i need you .. your not my friend , your not my lover .. but your someone i need .. coz your the only one who can understand me " .. Note : in previous time she break up wid me and acted a way just to make me hate her .. and i dont hate her .. coz i alwayz get why shes doing it ..now please damn i so love her .. and shez like killing me evryone moment .. she again gone to her x number 2 .. and she said ..she love him and hes da only person she ever loved after her previous x number 1 wich before me ..and x number three was a player so she left him .. and she was never sure if i even am included in any x .. lolz (alot at myself) .. i donno whats up wid her .. any idea ..i need a quick reply ..thxx
well ... m preety confused about one thing .. derez a girl .. she said she likes me .. misses me .. and da best she cud have .. juz coz ov sum parents issue she stay away .. she tried to move on .. had 2 bfs .. break up wid dem .. coz ov sum shit dey dun .. and den .. came back saying .. " i need you .. your not my friend , your not my lover .. but your someone i need .. coz your the only one who can understand me " .. Note : in previous time she break up wid me and acted a way just to make me hate her .. and i dont hate her .. coz i alwayz get why shes doing it ..now please damn i so love her .. and shez like killing me evryone moment .. she again gone to her x number 2 .. and she said ..she love him and hes da only person she ever loved after her previous x number 1 wich before me ..and x number three was a player so she left him .. and she was never sure if i even am included in any x .. lolz (alot at myself) .. i donno whats up wid her .. any idea ..i need a quick reply ..thxx
KC- I am guessing that she doesn't want to be mean but she probably is not interested.
good stuff to tell about
I have never personally experienced ANY of those things with women I am interested in actually. However, I DO know that some women come from cultures where they have weird rules about eye contact. I also know that some women have weird "personal space" rules. My "baby-momma" has a wide personal space sometimes and at others . . . well, she's not my "baby-momma" "for nothin'" as they say.
If figureing out wether she's into you or not means that you need to mentally go through a list of 5 signs, you're an idiot. Go buy a brain or something and have a nice day :). Peace
I guess you can already get the drift when she's not very much talking to you in detail. You can feel the conversation going nowhere.
Keep it up great hub!!! If a girl doesn't like you, you can just see that she won't wait for you or she won't let you speak that much too her, i Don't do the same thing, some times girls can be much meaner than guys
MrMarmalade says:
2 years ago
I had some wonderful temptations, but did not wake up until to late. Never mind I really did not miss them
Great Hub