Remember the days when nothing was more important than the plans you had with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Hopefully, those memories are still fresh in your mind. For those memories were then and they still are today, the basis for having a great marriage.  Do not let those memories fade away in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Com'on you might think, do you know my schedule? Yes, certain things in life just happen - careers, babies, families, sports and a host of other major events. You may or may not have a lot of control over these things, but it is important for you to know that these major events have a tremendous influence on your marriage.

So let's focus on an event that you can control. The key is using those fond memories to create an event which you do control and which will have a great positive influence on your marriage. That event is a monthly date! Setting aside time each month to date your spouse is a simple task that can take your already good marriage to a never-ending honeymoon level.

Why is a simple monthly date so powerful?

In the daily activity of life you may just forget to do the little things that make the big difference. Even if you make your spouse a priority, there are most likely few evenings where you dedicate the evening to each other with undivided attention? Scheduling a date with your spouse forces you to book and prioritize a small dedicated amount of time. It is a small preset amount of time where you can block out the rest of the world and focus solely on each other. Tell me if I am wrong, but this probably doesn't happen as much as you would like. After you have scheduled one or two of these monthly dates, it will get easier and easier to make this a monthly habit that you both will anxiously look forward to.

So What's Holding You Back?

You may find a number of reasons that a monthly date is a challenge. Depending on your phase of life, you and your spouse may have unique challenges whether they be time, money, kids, or work. Let's start by thinking back to when you were each other's highest priority. When was that time? How did it make you feel? How did you act towards each other?

To make a good marriage a never-ending honeymoon, it takes time where you consistently show your spouse that he or she is special. Just the act of blocking off the time on the busy calendar in many ways shows that.

So what can we do to remove some of the current roadblocks to having that monthly date? If you have children there is nothing better for your kids to see than mom and dad making each other a priority on a regular basis. Your monthly date will do just that. The kids can for sure ‘make it' for a few hours without you. If childcare is an issue, possibly find another couple to take turns. You watch their kids one evening and they watch yours another evening. This is a great way to know your kids are being taken care of, as well as, helping with the overall cost of the evening.

If money is an issue, let me suggest for you to open your creative minds a bit. Dinner and a movie is not the only date option. A walk in the park while sharing an ice cream sundae could be a three-dollar date. Strolling through the mall and sharing a latte could also be an inexpensive outing. Going to a bookstore, coffeehouse, a picnic, or fishing are just a few ideas. Look in your local newspaper or online to view the local events to find creative and fun ideas for a date. With a little creativity you can find a date that meets your interest and budget. Remember, the key is not what you do, but who you are doing it with.

If time is an issue, I suggest you plan your date at the beginning of the month and then not let anything conflict with this very special appointment. If you have a hard time keeping this commitment, possibly consider purchasing tickets to a sporting event or play in advance. In this way you will be more likely to plan around the event since you have purchased tickets. Treat your date appointment as you would any other important event of the month. This mindset will help you keep your date a top priority.

Sometimes conversation is not the point of a date, just being together is enough. One quick suggestion -- monitor your topics of conversation. Consider agreeing to not talk about any topics that may cause friction between the two of you. It is common for spouses to get so used to talking about work, kids, etc that when you get together for some special time, you are not sure what to talk about. I suggest planning a bit ahead on what you might want to talk about.

Here are five quick topics that may help:

• You know what I really like about you? Share something you really like about your spouse. They will probably do the same.
• If I had $1000 to spend on you, do you know what I'd buy? Tell your spouse what you would buy them. They will probably enjoy doing the same imaginary spending for you.
• If we had the money and time to do a weekend getaway, do you know where I would like to go. Share some ideas on great getaway spots.
• Do you know my favorite movie? Share what it is and why?
• I wish we could do more charitable work or giving. Share which charity you would like to help.

And if you run out of topics or don't like these, a great place to get some more conversational material is the popular game, "The UnGame". It is packed with conversational help for you.

Remember the old dating days? You loved it then and you will love it now. Dating your spouse is critical to maintaining a strong marriage relationship. Take time at least once a month to have a date with your spouse.

Best of luck on your dates. And best of luck with your own never-ending honeymoon.

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copyright © 2008 Rodney Grubbs