Why must we continue to cater to children? Should they get extra privileges just because they are small, incompetent versions of adults? Hell no! My miniature schnauzer doesn’t get to ride on miniature schnauzer-sized rides at Disneyland, or go to miniature schnauzer stores or even watch miniature schnauzer reality television! By simply locking up their demonic offspring, parents and young adults alike would find that the crowds in so many public would be vastly diminished in size. All kids need is food and water. Luckily, their frail little bodies allow them to survive for many days on only meager portions. Why all this ranting on the topic of children, you ask?...

No, of course not. That would be horrible! I don’t want a bloody BABY! Luckily, I am male—despite some of your initial doubts, I’m sure—so I will never ever have to worry about the miserable and traumatic odyssey of poppin' one out anyway. Now, as for the real reason why I bring up these tiny brutes….

Today, we went to the Whistler Blackcomb Base, which was filled with hundreds of little children. These sweaty little beasts were everywhere! They were like bugs. Except here, it was like an infestation of immaturity and pre-pubescence.

The lines for all of the rides were at least five times as long as they would have been had all children been safe and sound in their cages. I guess even a place as awesome as Whistler is no Utopia.

After three hours, when I finally reached the head of the line for the luge ride, I immediately knew this sport was my calling. I have never done anything like luge before, but I was certain that my aerodynamically perfect body would send me speeding down the track at heretofore uncharted speeds! As always, my predictions of success proved correct. And I only needed to run over one woman in front of me on the track to do it!

Now I’m just waiting to receive that letter telling me which part of Canada they’ll name in honor of my monumental luge achievement.

I never thought the existence of anyone even remotely as ridiculously beautiful as me possible. The bodily quality of Whistler’s residents have proved me wrong. At Rainbow Park, almost everyone is gorgeous! It’s uncanny. It shouldn’t be possible for so many attractive people to be in one place at the same time—it’s like defying the laws physics: you just can’t do it, or else something horrific would occur. And in this case, the resulting horrific incident was the slight damage done to my sense of superiority in regard to ageless beauty, but whatever. I remain in an innumerable many ways far superior to all other beings who walk this earth, so it’s really no big. And there was something disturbingly satisfying about observing so many individuals who are finally close, oh so very close, to your own unreachably high status of attractiveness. I imagine this strange feeling is what normal people must feel all the time.

Whistler is such an active and eco-conscious community. Whether it is at the small, local grocery stores or at the large public markets and fairs, there seems so far to have always be a “green” flair intermingled with the underlying communal love of outdoor activity.

Our friends took my family and I to this colorful spectacle a few minutes from their home. I call it a “spectacle” only because I can find no better word for it. Words like market, festival, or fair only just pertain to some of the aspects of Blackcomb.

The whole ordeal is set up in a large square in front of an outdoor mall’s stores and restaurants. Half of it is a huge farmer’s market with diverse, yet all quality foods and goods. For lunch, I bought two bison hot dogs from one of the market’s stands. I have neither had such a hot dog, nor bison meat at all ever before, and these dogs proved very delicious. The second half of the available area is used for the structures and complexes, which house bungee jumping stations, luge tracks, a go-card racing loop and so on.

We went to Blackcomb on Sunday afternoon and it was packed. We were told that it is much less crowded during the week when the farmer’s market isn’t set up, but I was glad we went when it was there. The bison dogs weren’t the only interesting foods to buy there. Besides typical farm-fresh foods like meats, eggs and veggies, there were also stands that sold such items as funky tie-dye clothing (even underwear), drinks, baked goods and chocolate fudge.

You can be sure, that almost all, if not all of the sellers there use the most economically friendly methods for producing their wares. Ask, and they will proudly explain in detail the mechanics of their sustainability.

I wish I were staying here longer so that I could return to Blackcomb next Sunday and sample even more of the foods at the farmer’s market. I must admit, I’m also a bit regretful that I didn’t end up purchasing any tie-dye briefs. They would have been a nice addition to my wardrobe.

Rainbow's beauty is fairly well-known. What I think most people do not know until they actually see it for themselves, is that this beauty refers not only to that of the water and beach itself, but also to the people who go there. Living in Los Angeles, I see quite my fair share of attractive individuals. But let me tell you, I have never seen so many beautiful people in one place at the same time. There were so many here, in fact, that I even felt a little self-conscious and intimidated. What finally helped rid me of these feelings, though, was my realization that everyone there had such a nice attitude about it all. They all knew they looked great, but they weren’t there to flaunt it. First and foremost, they were there to enjoy the cooling water and the available rays. Yet again, this prevailing attitude is the complete opposite of the majority of that of the beaches in Los Angeles, and so it was quite refreshing!

If you are in Whistler, you must go to Rainbow Beach and Park. It’s just an all around beautiful spot!

That night, we ate at a restaurant called Tandoori Grill. Their website has a great little video about their food and the restaurant’s ambiance that I recommend you watch if you like Indian food, but are on the fence about where to eat while you’re in Whistler. The place is indeed very delicious. This clean, simply decorated little restaurant serves a wide array of traditional Indian cuisine. The portions are hearty, and the prices appropriate. It isn’t cheap, but you get what you pay for.