The controversial issue of child support has many supporters of severe punishment for those parents that do not pay to support their children. However, what about those parents who faithfully support their children and receive no help from the courts when it comes to visitation and involvement with the children?

The Welfare Mother

Consider a mother who refuses to participate in the family financial support while married divorces her husband and continues her lack of equal financial support for her children. The father faithfully pays regardless of the situation and requests regular and consistent visitation with his children. The mother clearly has no intention of ever working and cannot financially support the children but regularly petitions the court for constant increases in child support. The mother's incessant request for money is fueled by a new baby every eighteen months or less belonging to other men. One of her seven pregnancies is dutifully delivered to other parents for money as a surrogate birth. The mother is obtains a masters degree via tax payer money and still refuses to work.

Consider a father, losing more than half his paycheck to someone who refuses to work is denied visitation. He is left knowing he can and would provide a much better home for his children. All the time he wonders why his children live on welfare and in poverty because their mother would rather live in a tent then send the children to live with him? He wonders why the support he pays goes mostly to children not his own. He worries he may lose his home because his paycheck is cut to less than fifty percent. He knows a lost home means a lost job due to having no place to live. He knows a lost job means jail because he can't pay his support. He knows he will be labeled a deadbeat; truly cruel and heartless, a final devastating blow.

Most will say the visitation and support are mutually exclusive; however, this is not the reality of the current system. Denial of visitation is against the law in many states but few states enforce visitation to the extent of law that child support is enforced. Therefore, what (or how) is a father to keep and maintain his rights if the court will not help him? Most good fathers don't mind paying their fair share and will often pay more if they are included.

The reality is fathers who truly want to be involved have no tools to stay involved. All that remains within their grasp of hope is control of finances. Parents that exclude participation with the children should not be asking for support because including one without including the other (visitation and support) is unjust to the children. Choosing to exclude the other parent is paramount to saying no help is needed or wanted. Why then should a father, or non-custodial parent, denied rights to his children be required to pay?

Is a parent excluded from his or her children's lives truly a deadbeat when they decide to use the only tool he or she has to help see his or her children? Stopping child support until someone helps enforce parental rights?

Write your state legislators; senators, congressmen, and capital representatives! Especially if you are a victim of parental rights denial; TELL THEM OF THIS PROBLEM!

The problem is simple; there are far too many true deadbeats that give good fathers a bad name and far too many mothers that use fathers as piggy banks. Courts are overloaded and don't have time to sift through every case. Politics prevent judges from harsh punishment to mothers even though equality of consequences and equal application of the law should exist (but does not). This is a huge problem of politics, resources, inequality and discrimination that truly needs a solid solution for the sake of our children.

Contact/ Web Page Information

House of Representatives: https://forms.house.gov/wyr/welcome.shtml

Pennsylvania: http://www.legis.state.pa.us/

New York: http://assembly.state.ny.us/

Ohio: http://www.ohio.gov/how/government.stm#3

New Jersey: http://www.njleg.state.nj.us/members/legsearch.asp