In a 2008 study of family lawyers in Britain, the #1 sign of infidelity was excessive texting. The technology embedded in cell phones pose a triple threat in the area of infidelity. It is as if the with the technology of making the cell phone an all-in-one tool, when placed in the hands of someone determined to have an affair becomes a self-destructive weapon. All the power of internet, when used for an affair becomes dangerous.

In previous years, a spouse only had to be concerned if the phone was answered in a secretive manner, calls at odd hours, and the mysterious hang ups. When a wayward spouse always secreted themselves away to talk to someone in a hushed voice, it was clear that something was going on. With the older technology, the phone bill did not always have the local numbers called. With the new technology, the tracing of numbers is much easier.

Tech savvy spouses may play new forms of hide and seek with their phones leaving them in the car or at the office. They may also have more than one phone so as to better conceal their activities. With cell phones, it is relatively easy to check the call histories to find out what numbers called in who was called. It is for that reason that many wayward spouses hide their cell phones from curious eyes. In some cases, they play high tech hide and seek by erasing the calls and text messages that come in on their phone. When you have a spouse that immediately erases all the calls going in or out, even when it is done on a daily basis, something is up. Unless they perform sensitive work for the government, there is a reason for suspicion. This is also one of the dangers of sensitive government work, since it makes it easier to have a plausible way to hide signs of an affair.

The easiest way to circumvent this hide and seek is to review the phone bills. The newer bills have all the numbers called, be they local or not. They also have the time of the call and the duration of the call. With such information, the dots can be connected to discover if an affair is going on or not. With cell phone number look-up services and reverse look ups, uncovering the identity of a caller is much easier.

When the spouse hides the phone bill or sends it to the office, some red flags should be going up. This is an unusual behavior. They may accuse you of being overly paranoid, although their hiding behavior is even more paranoid than your suspicions. Some people are very secretive about their financial matters, especially if they have been divorced before. Such trust issues can spill over to being secretive about all bills, although at that point, it has gone from secretive to being paranoid.

Besides the usual phone calls, the second danger is texting. Wayward spouses and their lovers often send text messages and even pictures to each other. If your spouse is frequently texting, even at odd hours, this is a reason for concern. If they are secretive about their texting, then your suspicions are validated.

Some tech savvy text users, especially if they are former military will use code words or phrases to hide the true nature of their activity. In the days of beepers, there were odd number codes that lovers used to communicate with each other. The new technology allows them to do so with the text messaging as well. If there are odd text messages that do not make much sense, it may be a code for some other activity. In the military it is common to change the names of people and places in order to confuse anyone listening or watching that shouldn’t be.

The third danger of the new technology consists of pictures and videos. Some adventurous spouses test the limits and send provocative photos and films to each other on the cell phones. This is also the area of cell phone where sexual addicts can be found.

In the case of sexual addicts, they load their phones with their favorite porn and carry it with them. Some web sites even specialize in providing regular updates, so they have new installments to their porn collection. The porn is both photos and videos. Rather than full length movies, these are shorter versions. So if you are suspicious of your spouses activities, you may want to check the downloads, photos and films along with the phone calls made. Much like the frequently deleted phone records, such frequent erasing of photos and films also indicate that something suspicious is going on. When the material is downloaded from an internet site, you may want to check the phone numbers. Even in checking these numbers, it pays to be thorough. Many of the sites are smart enough to have dummy numbers that look innocent. Find out who owns the number and if they are associated with any pornographic source sites. Although porno viewing is not an ‘affair’ per se, some spouses categorize the activity as a form of infidelity.

Some sexual addicts prefer not to have porn on their phone since they do not want to be caught with the evidence. In those cases, they use their phones to surf the internet and view the porn from their phone. With this being the case, look for excessive internet usage and them taking the phone with them into unusual places, like the bathroom.

Some of the tell tale signs include:

1. Texting at odd hours (late at night or early morning)

2. Secrecy regarding who sends the text and what it says

3. When your spouse keeps their phone password protected

4. When your spouse is secretive regarding the phone bill and how many text messages were sent. They may also be secretive about who the text messages were from.

5. When the texting goes on for an extended period of time.

6. Texting in a strange or coded manner.

7. When pornographic or suggestive material is sent or received.

8.  When the caller/texter refuses to tell you who they are.