Dealing with the death of a loved one

We all know that death is inevitable and the older one becomes we learn all about our mortality. We learn to, as the Psalms in the Bible says "As I go through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil", go forward with our lives bravely. We have learned that the kid saying "if I die" turns into "when I die"! Most of us have already experienced death through friends or family and have learned too cherish life.

What I am about too write is from my personal experiences with death. My close encounter with the reaper. This is about how I dealt with my tragedies in life and survived. I will tell you now! It is not easy!

At ten years of age, my Dad died of Esophageal cancer. At this age, I did not deal with death well. I tried to put the death out of my mind and act as if nothing happened. I had a huge hole in my heart, and was not dealing with my problem. I was ignoring the problem. I grew up rebellious! I blamed my Father for leaving me! I took it out on my Mother!. Every-time we had "Father's Night" at my football or basketball games, I had a complete dread of the evening. Everyone else had a Father! I did not!

I dealt with my problem, through school by immersing myself into sports. If it was not for athletics, I would have not finished high school! This is enough said, for now about my indoctrination into death's face.

Along my life's journey, I have lost my Brother-In-Law in a fiery jet crash in Viet Nam and my Mother to a stroke. My Mother lived ten years after her stroke, but never was the same. You know, from your experiences, this adds up on your emotional tally sheet! Let me write about my most heart breaking moment!

I swung my feet out of bed early one morning. I was planning on heading to the bathroom for morning relief, when I noticed my wife of thirty-two years laying on the floor of the bathroom. What is happening I quickly wondered? I hurried and saw my Spouse laying on her side. I rolled her onto her back and set her in an upright position, while asking her what was wrong? The last word she spoke were, "David, I'm so sick"! She died of a massive heart attack leaving me feeling empty beyond belief! Death had slashed the ugly sword through my wife and I was alone again! Through the help of my children and especially my Son, I "recovered". Now let me explain how I have worked too get through my sorrow.

I have tried to ignore, cry, apologize, alibi, and become numb to my death situations! I have learned to rely on faith and family to help, but the one point that becomes obvious after death is how people get tired of you talking about your problems! They have problems of their own. I no longer complain about my problems, but try to place them in perspective. I realize that, as my friend Robert said, life is for the living! I do not need to look back and have my personal pity party! As the Lord requested, just look forward to happiness. This is a bitter pill to swallow, but I'm trying! I now have a wonderful woman who has made my life unbelievably happy. This has been my answer. Susan, I love you.

Dave